Up in the sky at 3 am, there's nothing to keep you company but the occasional 747 thundering by.  Even in LA, those start to become more sparse at that time in the morning.  The lights from the city below twinkle up at me, the lights from the stars above flash.  It's the most beautiful thing in the world I've ever witnessed and at the same time it makes me feel more lonely than everything else.  After nights like last Tuesday, it also makes me feel very afraid about messing everything up.

I wish there was someone I could share this with, gliding over the coast, tracing the line where the ocean meets the beach.  But there's no one that I trust that much.  Or maybe I'm just too scared.  I do care about people.  I think that's why I do what I do.  But I don't think I can let somebody else into this world.  I have my "friends," the other superpowers, have their own mess of problems.  Spouses, children, jobs (or lack thereof).  

Some of them try and keep their identies a secret, saying they're protecting the ones they love.  And for some of them, that's probably true.  But I know some of them play it for all it's worth and live the double life up as much as they can.  A girlfriend or boyfriend in every port.

There are some of my friends who tried to open and honest with the ones closest to them.  One of my friend's wife thinks I'm having an affair with him.

Then there's the third option, a relationship with one of these friends.  Someone who understands what I do, because they do it, too.  But how can they understand me?  I don't.

I've seen all the different sides of these relationships and often I think the heartbreak outweighs the good.  So why is it, I find myself dreaming about someone?  Why is it, I want to share all this with him?  Why can't I get his smile out of his head?  Why can't I even talk to him about any of this?

These are the thoughts that fly through my head as I soar the air.  All I hear is the wind in my face, horns blaring on PCH, waves crashing on the shore, birds beginning to sing their morning hymns.  Weeping in loneliness, I trace the coastline below, waiting to come back down as the sun begins to rise.