I swear my brother was the only one who really and truely understood me, and was so much like me. I just want to ask why he left me with so many dumb fucking people. I mean i love my friends, and not everyone can be offended by this but honestly what the hell is wrong with people now a days? And everyone pretty much knows my dad use to be a pastor and they look at my family as if we are nuts so its all just ties into me saying. How the hell is god ganna take one of the most important people to me. And i see some of my guy friends who i adore so much go out with trashy girls who aren't worth shit. I know i grew up being taught by my siblings and my brother was prety much my father, and he taught me to never rely on anyone, trust only urself and you wont be disapointed. For the christians out there, my dad use to tell me when something real bad happened that it wouldnt happen if God didnt think that we could deal with it. Well no need to go into it, but i've gone through a few majorly bad things in my life and...i dont think i can be as strong as Shel said i was. Not without him anyway.