| the more things change the more they stay the same |
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| YO! well not much has gone on since my last drama filled blog lol...why do i let myself go when im drunk i dont know!!!! hmmm....im a lil tipsy now my friends say that they are worried about me but there is nothing to be worried about i drink here and there can improve ones health i guess...Really i think they believe i drink way more than i actually do...but anyways im goin to take a shower and go to bed...And oh I still stand by my last blog...dont have to read it i just know i stand by it... |
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| Well damn it seems as if things in my life always have to go, well i dont wanna say wrong but i certainly have more disapointments in my life than happiness why is that...these past couple weeks after comming home were startitng to look up things were starting to get ok at least, starting going out again and having a little bit of fun, getting to know my co-workers and understand why they seem like such uninteresting people to me, and just not thinking about things that i normally would...then yesterday my name gets dumped in a deployment rotation that could leave as early as next month...aint that a b!tch! and after hearing that i really just wanted someone to call...not just anyone but someone who really cares... I need a relationship badly, iknow this may sound pathetic but i cant be happy when im alone...I miss the feeling of thinking of someone before i go to sleep and having that person being the first thing i wake up thinking about in the morning and knowing that they feel the same way...what a buch of bull this sounds like but im being more honnest than ever before...Ive never gone this long without having someone that i felt at least close to that feeling with and it sucks more than i thought it would ever...When people say you dont need anyone to be happy i think its only a cover up for that person cause they cant find amyone for themselves and things that ive never understood are starting to become more clear...I used to ask myself "why do people get so caught up in things to the point where they cant get out of abusive relationships?" Ive come to realize that tainted love is soo much better than no love at all...can you believe i have these thoughts cause i cant...I never thought id ever have that view on it and w/o even having been in the situation i just cant seem to understand why anyone would ever want to be alone in the world...friends are cool but sharring comes along with t hat and if you know anything at all about me sharring in not a stong trait in my personality...Well well well lets get to the positive things in life like I learned how to drive a stick shift yesterday and i was actually good at it....I only stalled once drove to the store about 3 miles away and back...damn im smart...Im starting class again soon and i cant wait to excell in my education...Its not really all about the degree i really just wanna know more than what i know now...damn this is getting long...Im in chandler right now really hopping that my mistake isnt going to come and haunt me *sigh*...damn i thought i was trying to be positive on the last part of my blog but its all good....cause this aint for you its for me ima just keep this going the my mind wants it to go....ayte well this is getting a lil too long and all my thoughts for the moment are gone... |
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| "I did it all for the nookie, the nookie...so y0u can take that cookie... and stick it up your a$$...."
Why was those dumb ass lyrics so damn popular? anyways i really dont have much to say but i told all my fans around the world id keep them updated....I love you guys w/o you there would be no me, thanx for all your support...btw my next album drops next week so COP DAT COP DAT...yea really nothing much to say about the day other than i worked a lot and got a couple email...I was gonna put a pictue of my last concert but i dont know how to put it on this page
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