Wednesday, July 16, 2008

  • Don't mistake this for a weblog entry.

    I'm really not up to blogging today.  It's ME/CFIDS flareup/recovery time.  I have been running on empty, pushing the envelope, keeping on keeping on until the wall popped up and stopped me.  Having hit the wall, I'll veg here until I can get up and go again.

    Yesterday's town trip left me too tired to sleep well last night.  This morning, I spent what energy I had trying to catch up with email I'd missed while the computer was down.  I need support to walk today, and have to use my hands to help lift my legs to get out of bed or straddle this ergonomic chair.  Now I'm going to try to get to the kitchen and eat something, then make my way to the couch until Doug gets up and helps me to bed.

    I'm glad that Doug is willing and able to work on restoring our software and getting this machine back toward something recognizable.  Neither of us understands the reasoning behind the way the tech who did the restoration divided the programs between our two hard drives.  I guess Doug's first task when he gets up today will be to get on the phone and ask some questions.


     

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

  • Wedding Ring Followup

     I agree with lupa that if a man expects his wife to wear a ring, he needs to be willing to wear one himself.

    Those who mentioned hazardous occupations (including the handling of raw meat), hit upon my main reason for not wearing jewelry.  I got out of the habit of wearing earrings when Doug was a grabby little baby.  Rings have always either gotten in the way of various work for me, or they have cut into my finger when it was swollen, or fallen off and gotten lost when I'd lose weight.

    Quitchick asked, "about the women's movement and men's rings, interesting, but I still don't understand how that worked. Did men WANT to start wearing them in an attempt to preserve tradition, or did advertisers just try to convince men to start wearing them so their bridal jewelry business didn't go under?"

    I think it was probably a bit of both, beginning with the reluctance of a few libertated women to wear that symbol of servitude and chattelhood.  Anyone wishing to examine the history of the marital institution can find it here.

    Doug and I have stopped off at the Willow Library on our way to pick up the computer in Wasilla.  We were told that it was a virus that destroyed our OS and corrupted most of the data on our hard drive.  It will be like a new computer, no convenient cookies, all my photos gone... *sigh*  We have no idea what virus it was or how it got in, so of course there's no confidence that it won't happen again.

    ~moniker23

    Currently Reading
    The Hunt Club
    By John Lescroart
    see related

Thursday, July 03, 2008

  • Wedding Rings and Jack Reacher

     The book I read yesterday had two female characters who were married but didn't wear wedding rings, for different reasons, neither of which reflected any philosophical or political preference.  That the author made an issue of the absence of the rings was what got my attention.  I did not receive wedding rings from any of my latest three husbands.  It was no big deal with Michael or Charley.  The relationships were what they were without any need for symbolic reinforcement.

    Rings became an issue with Greyfox because he offered me the ring his first wife had worn.  It has their initials and wedding date engraved inside.  I declined, and his reaction appeared to be somewhere between bafflement and offense.  I felt that the offer was inappropriate, but he seemed to think that the gold band was the important thing and that its history, and the engraving inside, didn't matter. 

    He had already given me a ring, a gaudy thing in silver with a naked woman coiled around it, holding a cornucopia with a jade cabochon at its mouth.  He considered it our "engagement" ring when I didn't even consider us to be engaged, so I later let him slip it on my finger as we stood before the judge in an empty conference room in a Virginia courthouse.   The ring was too big, too showy for my taste and, I thought, not very taseful, so it hasn't been worn much.

    So, how do you feel about wedding rings?  Not just whether you are for or against them as symbolic bonds, but, if you think they are appropriate or important for a woman, do you think men should wear them also?  Are you younger women aware that in the 1960s it was very rare for a man to wear a wedding ring, and that rings for grooms became more popular as the women's movement tried to do away with rings for women?  Some sort of compromise, do you think?

    That book, Nothing to Lose, is the best so far in the Jack Reacher series, I think.  Reacher has always been somewhat of a mythic hero, and this story takes the mythic status to new heights.  It is the first time Lee Child has taken on politics and religion with such hard-edged feeling.  About halfway through, I paused and looked at the pages remaining and thought for a millisecond about slowing down to make it last longer.  Then I got back into it and finished it.

    I'm at the Willow Public Library today, on my way to Wasilla to drop off the computer for repair.  It is possible that I might get another hour at a public computer at the Wasilla library later.  My time here is running short, so... seeya later.

    ~moniker23

    Currently Reading
    Nothing to Lose (Jack Reacher Novels)
    By Lee Child
    see related

Monday, June 30, 2008

  • Kathy,here at the Talkeetna library

    Geez... I'm really missing my computer already, and it's not even gone.  Doug's "fixer" talent didn't work.  The hard drive might be toast.

    This will be brief.  The space bar on this keyboard takes more force than the "a" key on an old manual typewriter, and engages with a noise like jacking a shell into a shotgun.  My forearms are aching and burning already.

  • indefinite hiatus

    Greyfox here--aka ArmsMerchant.  I am posting this for Kathy from the lib to tell her friends that her comp is down.  Possibly, Doug may be asble to heal it with laying on of hands stuff, but it MIGHT have to go into the shop.

    More details as they become available.

SuSu

  • Visit SuSu's Xanga Site
    • Name: Kathy Lynn
    • Metro:
    • Birthday: 9/18/1944
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 5/1/2002
    • True Lifetime

I like this stuff.

Favorite Quotations

Paul Davies"It is clear that many religious people still cling to an image of a God-of-the-gaps, a cosmic magician invoked to explain all those mysteries about nature that currently have the scientists stumped. It is a dangerous position, for as science advances, so the God-of-the-gaps retreats, perhaps to be pushed off the edge of space and time altogether, and into redundancy."
~Paul Davies
1995
Templeton Prize Address

MORE QUOTATIONS HERE

Quotes on fear, death,
the unknown, and
fear of death and the unknown:
CLICK HERE.

All we really have is now.

  • Right now I'm a dissident--fringe dweller--truth teller--psychic (Isn't everyone?)--earth lover. I am evolving--low maintenance--high confidence. Three million people on this planet have higher IQs than mine, and three billion people on this planet have greater incomes than mine. I have no worries.

...and then...

What's this?
When I got out of prison in 1971, it wasn't long before I was on the road. I hitchhiked some, and I rode freight trains for a little while before getting back out on the Interstates where I felt more at home. During that brief time riding the rails, my newfound friends among the hobos told me I needed a moniker, a unique sign or symbol to scrawl on boxcar walls, sidewalks, fences and such to show that I had been there and/or to indicate which way I went and when.
Being recently liberated physically and having undergone a spiritual metamorphosis, I felt like I'd been a worm who had suddenly grown wings.
I was off the road for some weeks at my Aunt Goldie's place in Morro Bay, California when I doodled up the simple drawing of a butterfly ascending that has become my signature.
My gallant old fart had it tattooed on his arm while we were on our honeymoon.

I am a semi-retired professional psychic, married to a shaman. We still work together, sometimes. For more information, click on the coyote below.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Synanon Prayer

Please let me first and always examine myself
Let me be honest and truthful
Let me seek and assume responsibility
Let me understand rather than be understood
Let me trust and have faith in myself and my fellowman
Let me love rather than be loved
Let me give rather than receive.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Neurochemistry of Addiction and the Role of Prostaglandins in Alcoholism

unloaded
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Personality,
Personality Disorders,
and NPD


THE OTHER NPD
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PAIN
PAIN
GO AWAY

The PainSwitch Technique

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Neuroelectrochemistry
and the gag reflex

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
myalgic encephalomyelitis
fibromyalgia
chronic fatigue syndrome
CFS 101
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CENSORSHIP(I don't like it.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"All of us who are concerned for peace and triumph of reason and justice must be keenly aware how small an influence reason and honest good will exert upon events in the political field."
(Albert Einstein, 1954)

The Spherical Standing Wave Structure of Matter
23 and the Law of Fives

Conspiracies and Conspiracy Theories

KurtV
"Cold Turkey"
by Kurt Vonnegut

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
STRESSED OUT?
Take a break.
TAKE A LOOK.
Relax.
Smile.
Adopt your own useless blob!
I LOVE MOOGLES
(screenshots from FFXII)

flowersmeller.jpg
Read my Flower Smeller awards
HERE

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SUBVERSION
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Have you been hurt, angered, or offended
by what others say or do?
You can use
A Contentment Tool Kit

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Due to restrictions on the code I can use in my new theme, I have decided to relocate, for now or forever, some current issues and worthy causes.

Recent Weblogs

Weblog Archives

Don't worry - your calendar is here… to see it in action just click "Save" above and refresh the page.

Those who ignore the past are condemned to repeat it.

Reading an episode or two of my memoirs out of context might give a false impression of knowing what the story is about. It is a long story, and I'm not finished telling it yet.

When I first began posting these episodes, some readers thought the story was too wild to be true. As they have gotten to know me better, I think most of them have come to believe me. This is as true as any memoir can be, subject to the vagaries of memory. This is my life, to the best of my recollection.

If any of these links doesn't work, let me know. I will fix it.

Someone asked me what I get out of writing these memoirs, and a few people have asked me why I'm doing it in a blog.
Here is my explanation.

The later parts of the story make more sense if you know the back story. For starters, I was a sickly, intellectually precocious child.

I have written about:Various other bits and pieces of my childhood show up elsewhere: My father was my primary caregiver, first teacher, biggest supporter, and my partner in crime in pranks on my mother.
School started with kindergarten. When I was six, we moved from a little rented house into a bigger home of our own. Then my father died. My addiction to sex began the day of his funeral, in 1951, when I was 7 years old.
I have written about the circumstances and aftermath of his death.

With help from family and friends, Mama struggles with widowhood.
After a brief reunion with her childhood sweetheart, she is single again.
Writing that story brought on some Q&A, and then
more motherhood Q & A.
I express my love for Mama and introduce our store.
Then I ramble on about education, illness, and puppies.
After that, Girl Scouts and 4H,
followed by summer camp, homesickness and a tornado.
Apparently, the first notice anyone ever paid to my mental illness was when I started playing with fire.
I wrapped up this phase of my childhood with a long entry about daredevil bike tricks, the onset of ME/CFIDS (I guess), movies and movie star crushes, making out in the back row of the movie theater, building a parade float, learning that the game is rigged, singing in a musical play, and appearing in a Hollywood movie.
When Mama gave up trying to run her own business, we moved to Wichita.
Then we caught a case of combat fatigue from my next stepfather.
I started junior high school and went steady with one boy after another.
For a while I had two romantic relationships at the same time.
Skipping around with several thematic entries that are more-or-less in sequence, I tell the story of a series of mid-1950s road trips between the Midwest and West Coast, and the museums and amusement parks we visited.
Midnight Radio is about Mickey Mouse Club, movie star crushes, becoming a woman, rock and roll and the blues, among other things.
An earlier entry covers a three-way schoolgirl shoving match referred to elsewhere. In an effort to finally get out of Kansas and on with the story, I tied up some loose ends. Later, I recalled that I hadn't yet told the story about ettiquette and new school colors.

Mama's penpal from Lonely Hearts Club invited us to Texas for a Panhandle Christmas.
The subsequent move to Texas wrenched me away from both of my boyfriends, threw me into being the new girl in yet another small town,
and brought a dreary winter of unattainable dreams followed by a brighter spring.
The next segment dealt with first aid, guitar players, ankle-deep ice water and USDA surplus foods. Then came baptism, B12 shots and burning drip, followed by an "inappropriate" friendship, two more boyfriends, hard cherry cider and the wrong dress.
Then, between episodes, I posted the self-analysis of a reluctant virgin.
The summer between ninth and tenth grades featured movie star fantasies, Tijuana bibles, cocker spaniel puppies, a blackberry cobbler with too much black pepper, and a vacation in Galveston.
In the tenth grade, I was prevented from studying Latin, my mother gave me a 3-speed record player for my fourteenth birthday, and I had a frightening experience with an IQ test.
Along with some complaints about life with my step-father and his old maid sister, I relate a brief retrospective of my unhappy school career and do a little bit of foreshadowing after telling about stealing my best friend's boyfriend. In the next episode, he and I go all the way.
Even though we didn't have to, "Ford" and I got married, had an itty-bitty honeymoon, and set up housekeeping together.
My husband and I, aged sixteen and fourteen respectively, became emancipated minors upon our marriage.
In the spring after our December wedding, we moved to Amarillo, where my husband found his first job and had his first extramarital affair.
Comments on that impelled me to post a little piece about neurochemistry and penis size.
Then came another inept suicide attempt, which I survived, and gave birth to my firstborn child.
The episode following that one takes us up to
the end of the 1950s
.
After a series of beatings, the preacher told me that the problems in my marriage were all my own fault.
A few months later, I was rejected and thrown out.
I ended up down on the bird ranch for a family reunion.
I dont remember what came next, but soon my husband found the army to be an acceptable alternative to incarceration.
You might as well skip this episode. It is all about pubic hairs and fecal fingerpainting.
The next episode is about housework, holy rollers and aerobatics.
After Sacramento, I move to Waynesville, Missouri, and from there to Cheyenne, Wyoming,
then to Tacoma, Washington.

The stories of my early years, above, were written long after I wrote some of the parts that follow. This entire bloggy trip down memory lane began with my story of the '60s, starting with four episodes on how I became an expert shoplifter.

Part 1 starts with some back story about my getting married when I was fourteen, and continues with the love of my life coming along when I was seventeen.

Part 2 is about love and fear, lifesaving and ESP.

In Part 3, I finally get to the story of how I learned to shoplift.

Part 4 winds up that story, seeing me in and out of, first, jail and then the boobyhatch.

After that, I look at my psychological state.
In the next meandering piece I'm stabbed with a fork, paid for ironing money; I drink too much sloe gin and orange flavored vodka and experience date rape and probably gang rape, too.
The saga continues as I get Marie out of foster care and she leaves with Bobbi. Then I write about remembering pain.
At age nineteen, I learned to shoot craps at Rusty & Dusty's Pad, assisted by PK and precog.
Next I tell Statch's Story, weaving in bits about prostitution, VD, and JFK's assassination.
After that, an emotional basket case, I meet my second husband and have my first son.
Then I start a career in nursing, leave it to go to Japan, meet another soulmate, end up in another loony bin, temporarily die, and say goodbye to my son.
Back on my feet, probably too soon, I get a great job, relapse and lose it. Then I meet Jim Rose, go to work in a couple of bars, almost become a Saigon bar girl, screw up another relationship, overdose, and get to hear a shrink describe the whole course of my life in one succinct phrase.

The next series covers the years I rode with Hells Angels and two other One Percenter motorcycle clubs.
I started with a historical
and cultural sketch
of outlaw bikers.
Right at the start, I almost became a Hells Angels Mama.
Saved by being ripped off for VW's ol'lady, I learn to show class, and meet Janis Joplin.
I build a trike and ride it to The Magic Mountain Music Festival, and adjust to life as the captive gourmet.
During our move from California to Oregon, I'm turned out by Gypsy Jokers.
Reposting that rape episode for a Featured_Grownups challenge brought many comments and some questions, which I answered ironically, with a lot of info about and images of outlaw bikers. The biker gang rape became a subject that won't go away. I wrote about how odd it is that I have come to be viewed as an expert on bikers, and followed that with my take on the minds of men in gangs.
After responding to a question about my feelings on rape, I told about the show bike
I helped to build, and my first acid trip. Special people show up in the next episode, and I tell about a wild week of ripping, running and gardening with Little Carol.
The best weekend of my biker years comes next.
Then I take another look at my psychology and make a desperate break from VW.
It failed, but finally I get the help I need to get away.

Then, after an interval of terror, I'm not a biker broad anymore. Suddenly I'm a speed freak!
Fast and frizzy, with mirrors on the ceiling, I'm threatened with an axe by Mrs. Ken Kesey.
Then we have fun with meth and intense psychic experiences before things fall apart.
After some time in jail, I'm free and homeless, but my first Tarot reading reveals a way out.
In a flashback episode, I tell some of the details of that homeless period.
Then I start building a reputation as a psychic, impress some naive kids as a "human encyclopedia," manage unwillingly to stay off speed, get involved in Vietnam War protests, develop a foolproof plan to keep from being separated from Hulk, and end up in the (little) big house.

When the bus delivered us to Oregon Women's Correctional Center, Mrs. Burt met us at the door with a red rubber douche bag. After a piece on how my life experience changed me,
I wrote about the ways in which prison changed me. O.W.C.C. and confinement in a community of women, gave me a new perspective on my sex. In the first memoir I posted on Xanga, I told about my clashes with the unwritten rules in prison.
In response to some complaints from readers that there was not enough sex in my blogs, I agreed and offered in my defense the excuse that
there was not enough sex in prison. Music and meditation were as important in prison as elsewhere. In a segment that started out to be about feminism, I wrote about violence in prison, practical jokes, friends, breast reduction surgery, and my Tree of Life bedspread. That brought questions, which led to an entry about Kabbalah. After a prison riot, some OOBEs, and two trips to the Parole Board, I'm free.

When I was first out of prison, I went to college, where I met Stony. We lived in a haunted house,
then went on the run and had adventures, taking me eventually to Boulder, Colorado, and leading to a full pardon for my crimes. Two entries I had written earlier fit into the time period after OWCC and before Boulder.
They tell about my freight yard epiphany and the loaf of lettuce and head of bread trick.
Another entry, written later, details my freight train rides and a car wreck, and fills in a big gap left in previous episodes about that time.
A hippie family passing through Boulder gave me Mr.Coon.
We went farther up into the Rockies and squatted in a ghost town, and then lived at Colorado's oldest ski area until the end of my pregnancy.
In the next episode, I tell the story of how Princess Celeste helped me through one of the toughest days of my life.
After that, we have to move; Stony breaks Bill's arm with a fart; I plow through where snowplows spin their wheels; I party with the ladies; the real Stony pays us a visit; and then I'm on the road to Alaska.
The