Homecoming!

okay so i have a ton of pics from homecoming and stuff like that so imma post them and make it long with other stuff to! lol

first of all i gotta new car! a 99 sunfire. i love it!!!!!!!!!! it has a sunroof! but then some idiot rearended me and i might not be getting it back their still deciding.. hmm im not sure if i want it back or not..cus well.. im not smart and i took the money out of my college savings to pay for it.. and my dad doesnt know. i feel completely horrible. egghhhh. no.and then some stupid sophmores. cody n some of his friends like drove my car n shit n idk it pissed me off. lol but garret was smart and found my hubcaps! woot!

I Love my Friends!

so yep. lol color day was awesome! so was the football game. ahh i got pushed when we were allrunning on the field n i almost fell. lol.

everyone cries . - - . everyone weeps ;;
we all stay up late one night because we
can't go to sleep ` tears coming o u t '
thoughts deep in your head, so you `' .
sit & lay there & cry on your bed you
can't help but think about all the things
you had . you can't help but wonder ;;
why they make you so sad. you can't
help to think where did you go wronq.
you can't help to listen to your old song .
you can't help to think about him day &&
night. you can't help but wonder why ;;
this match isn't right. so you're happy `
to see him. it's been a lonq time ;;

you'rehappy to see him & you don't know why *

i am me. thats all i can be.
no more. no less. don't 2nd guess
i l a u g h . i < 3. i l i v e. i c r y.
&. sometimes i wish that i would die.
somedays i'm funny. others i'm not.
sometimes i'm in overdrive & i can't stop.
you may not like me. thats okay.
cause this is me & how i'll always stay.

if one day you notice that i
haven't talked to you in awhile,
it's not because i don't care anymore ;;
it's because you pushed me away.

ashie is cute. but bates looks scared. haha

its been so long since i’ve seen you
your smile is slowly fading
every day we spent together
is slowly being replaced by
the days we spend apart.

you know what i think hurts the most?
the feeling of being replaced.
it's like, no matter what you did, it wasn't enough.
& no matter what you do to try and capture
their heart again, it doesn't seem to work.
and you're suddenly left thinking that you'll never
be enough and a sadness takes over your
heart & never really leaves.

and whenever they see you, they tap me
and say, " there he is ". & i've gotten to the point
where i wish they wouldn't. it only makes it
harder to let go when i have to see something
i fell in love with.

Sometimes I catch myself wondering where you are,
and how you're doing;; I don't think
I'm ever going to let you go completely.

 kayla hardly took any pics :(

i remember being just friends with you,
and i remember the times when i could
look at you, and not want to kiss you.

tara and justin hiding

'She was a girl who knew how
to act happy even when
she was sad. And
that's important.'
-Marilyn Monroe-

think I was totally in love at one time. It felt great. When that "great" was over, it hurt a lot but in the end, I think it had made me better for it & appreciate what it was. I mean, if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person, just imagine how wonderful it will be when the right one comes along. Love is a big deal to me. It'll come again eventually

some day youll see that you made a mistake
and by the time you wake up itll be too late
cause i will have moved on and found someone new
someone who loves me the way i used to love you-

Anne!

The one person that used to be my life and my world is completely gone. lol idk if im happy or sad about it and i know its sad cus i still think about him and hope hes doin okay. and i know that she doesnt do exactly what shes sposed to do and that he wouldnt be happy if he knew. that i could treat him better. but i dont care anymore really he treated me like crap in the end and i dont know where the old him went. all i know is that him happy without the drama but sad cus deep down i know i still love him and hes not here. but its alright ill prolly always love him a lil. lol. oo  welll.. i havent said anything about it for a while and i kinda felt like it. especially if he reads it. i want him to know i still care and am here i always will be, like our promise always was we'd always be there for eachother and love eachother.

to let go isn't to forget, not think about, or ignore..it dosen't leave feelings of anger, jealousy or regret; letting go isn't winning nor is it losing..it's not about pride, it's not about obbsessing or dwelling on the past it isn't about loss & it's not defeat ; to let go is to cherish memories but overcome them..letting go is having the courage to accept change ; which is the strength to keep moving

 so cute!

so ya. pretty sure im likin life rather than im broke and feel bad about all that .

my mommy is doing good. it makes me happy. i found out she would have had a baby boy and we named him christopher james mcgee. lol. yaa we didnt have a name yet.. but idk. hes buried out in the cemetry and stuff. its kinda hard but i kinda wonder if it was meant to be cus my mom is stressed out enough as it is.

so yep after the dance we went tping. lol and picked up justin cus hes a fag and wouldnt go to the dance and ya it was fun! lol

i met mykaela! woot they were walkin around and saw us and she was like wheres becky?! lol it was great.

tomorrow i have to wear the empathy belly fjdkalf;d. ah. lol i dont wanna be pregnant!

Hmmm... im bored.

My moms in the hospital.. she had a misscarraige and something is wrong with her.. i havent talked to her since she called me tellin me to come home at midnight..the doctors wont let me see her n she cant talk on the fone.. .. ugh.

I got a new car! ill post pics up later i still havent taken them ive been so busy. i feel guilty for how i paid for it but imma b working hard to pay it back and i mite be looking for a new job if i cant get more hours.. ughh its a 99 pontiac sunfire! i love it. its not a mustang but it works for me.

just take me in your arms
hold me tight
and make the pain go away
for one n i g h t

lol its been a while..

SMILE.
It makes a world of difference.
DANCE.
Who knows when you wont be able to.
CRY.
Holding those emotions in is bad for you.
KISS.
Kisses are the most wonderful things in the world.
LAUGH.
Whatsthe point in hiding happiness?
FROWN.
Why not let him know youreunhappy?
APOLOGIZE.
You dont wanna lose friends.
HUG.
Theres nobetter feeling being wrapped up close to someone you love.
LiVE,
because life is everything.

To the girl that replaced Me::

you fell hard for his charm nd gorgeous looks. the way he makes you feel about yourself makes you like him even more. in your mind you are thinking "gosh, this boy is amazingg. how did i ever get so lucky?" he says all the right things to turn that bad day into the best day of your life. he makes you smile all the time. he says "i love you" nd you get butterflies in your tummy everytime he touches you nd kisses you. you trust him with your everything. he tells you everything, so you have nothing to worry about. to you, it seems like you couldn't get a better guy. he was there to catch you are your weekest moment, but now that he has caught you nd gotten you to trust him..... the real boy comes out. the boy that lies, cheats nd plays. it's a whole different ball game now. he starts to sneak around. he makes up stories for why he didn't call. he tells you that "you are the only girl in his dreams." sooner or later, he will cheat on you. you will have a bunch of people telling you that he is. you won't believe them at first, because this 'perfect boy' that used to play, changed. but lemme tell ya something, this perfect boy won't change. the way he is, it's too hard for someone to change. he jst has to grow up nd realize hurting the people you love most isn't worth a night of pleasure. but people keep telling you nd telling you that they saw your man with another girl. you still say "no, he wouldn't do that to me. he tells me everything nd i know he isn't like that anymore." you start to question your boyy about everything people keep telling you. he realizes that you found out his secret, gets mad nd starts going off on you. he tells you "jst believe them then. i give up. it's not worth it. fuck this." then he hangs up. he won't talk to you. he starts to treat you like crap. you think to yourself, "geez, it must not be true if he is getting this upset about it." ohh girly, what you don't know. this was still part of his game. he got mad at you so you would think that it wasn't true, so his game would still be secret. but since you questioned him about it... he is going to back off a little bit. he will stop talking to those girls as often until he knows he has your trust back. as soon as he knows you trust him, he's out to play again. as usual, people will start telling you to watch him because he's messing around again. you still don't believe them. you should believe them tho. they are telling you this because they don't want to see you get hurt. it's not because they don't want you two to be together or because they are trying to break you up. it's because they care about you, nd most of them have been hurt by him nd they don't want to see him collect another broken heart to add to his pile. you should be learning from my mistakes nd heartbreaks that he caused.... but seriously, Don't make the same mistake i did nd not listen to these people... because they will be telling more of the truth that he will. <|3

so yup. sorry thats kinda long. lol but me n tara had just a kinda chillax and cry day last friday. it was nice we went n played in the rain at the park n then rented a buncha movies to watch. yay i love her so much.

I kinda sorta Like you..(you know who you are)

ahhh

I feel like updating cus this weekend was totally AWESOME!!!!

Thursday~i did pretty much nothing. went to my brothers last baseball game n then to the firwork stand and nikki n sarah called and were like come to the game! so i did n they were playing josh hackers team so i watched that then i took nikki home n josh called me n we talked a bit. that was nice. it would b cool to b friends with him. lol so yea. imma go to the game next friday to! yay taht was a good night!!!

Friday~ I worked.. ughhh.. 12-5.. but i gotta talk to amanda.. new friend from work. shes the shit. lol.. then i went n got tarahhh n we cashed my check got gas.. and went to the mall.. lmao and on the way in this black guy was like "hey how are you" i was like pretty good you? and hes like whooaaa your tongue is blue u been eatin a slushi .. ahhh how could he tell omga. so i try to open the door and im PUSHING.. when the door is pull.. n they start laughing at me n tara opens there door and we go in really fast.. ahhh. lol.. so we walk around the mall looking for stupid stuff. and then we go back to her house i change and we go to wendy's n dq and then we play around at wal mart.. and we were gonna hide until they close .. but.. we realized they dont close. lmao. so then justin called and we went and stayed the night at aarons house with justin!!!!!! yay.. i love cuddling.. lol rather than me n justin got comfy n were about asleep until tara n aaron came back with food. ahh. lol and me n justin went to dillons n bought the hills have eyes.. omga pretty sure i was in his lap. lmfao it scared the SHIT outta me!

Saturday.~since we didnt sleep at all we all messed around and did nothing just being stupid. lol i tried to sleep. but it didnt work for long cus of aaron! ergh. lol. o well i gotta sleep with justin for a lil bit! haha then me n tara left n we went to her house n showered n slept n then i had to go babysit my brother n these fags at my moms friends house. ugh i fuckng hated it it was so stupid and pointless their so lazy.. and it was clear out by Derby. how gayyy.. lol then we went back to taras n i showered got ready for work slept then went to work and after work went back to taras n basically crashed. lol..

Sunday~ after sleeping for like 11 hours? lol damn i was tired. i woke up n went to my moms n swam n took the stupid ppl home. lol n yea then i hungout with my momm n did w.e. lol.. so yepppp it was gooodd!!!!!! lol

but i might get my tonsels out i find out friday if i do so if i do everyone should come see me. lol cus imma b in pain. eeegghh . lol

Doubt me and i'll prove you wrong.
tell me what to do and ill tell you off
say im not worth it and watch where i end up.

call me a bitch and ill show you one.

Unlike him I cant just walk away

i cant forget what we had
its not that easy for me to let go

of something that was once my life,
i guess unlike him it actually mattered to me

it`s not the fact that i miss being your girlfriend.
i miss being in your life.

A friend is like the north star,
You look to them when you lose your way

Take me by the hand & tell me you'd take me anywhere

in order to be irreplaceable,
you have to be different.

ove is not a maybe thing.
you know when you love someone 
- the hills

how do you leave the past behind
when it keeps finding ways to get to your heart?

I don't care what people think of me.
The people who I care about know the real
Me && that's all that matters.
- Paris Hilton

- confidence -
is the inner voice that says you're
becoming what you're capable of being.

all i want is one chance` one kiss `one night..
to show you what you mean to me. one chance
to spend one day with you... to show you how
we`re so alike. one kiss to prove that we're
more than friends. one night to hold you tight

It's when you can't just sit with him,

you need to feel him,

need his arms around you.

When you want everyone to disappear,

so you can be with him

MY MOM IS PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!

siickkk