How...

...did things turn out this way?

Severely lost.

You...

...disgust me  

Grow up, it's been long overdue.

Maybe...just maybe...

When life throws something unexpected and maybe even unwanted in your way, the easiest solutions are often times are not solutions at all. Take me for example, I've learned I tend to avoid and ignore people and things that I am not happy with...easy, yes...healthy, no. To me it'll always be the solution that I unfortunately find most comfort in.

Except in this case. It couldn't be avoided. I had to take the hard road...the one full of possible slips and falls...rolls and tumbles...

But maybe, just maybe....everything will just fall in their place. Maybe, just maybe facing all those carefully hidden away insecurities and having to walk straight into something out of my control...maybe it'll be all worth it in the end. Uncertain? Yes. Willing? Definitely.

I'll meet you there.

Sometimes...

...things just don't work out the way you want to.
Sometimes...you just have to learn to let go and live even if it breaks your heart.
Sometimes...the timing is off and perhaps it was more than just the timing...

No matter what though, I can say I didn't regret it for a second. In a heartbeat, I'd do it all over again. Sad as the situation may be now, I know there's happiness waiting for me and I look forward to what surprises tomorrow brings. In the deepest parts of my heart, I hope fate will give us another chance someday...=)

"But there are some things I know for certain: always throw spilt salt over your left shoulder, keep rosemary by your garden gate, plant lavender for luck, and fall in love whenever you can." - Practical Magic

Let go.

The past few months have taught me that I have issues about letting go of bad things or things that aren't necessarily healthy for me. For some reason, being able to walk away from something good is just that much easier. Why is that? What is it about negative friendships, relationships that take such a toll on your mind and soul that they always leave lasting impressions?

I've also learned, the hard way, sometimes having control or having something mapped out and planned isn't necessarily always good. It limits your ability to adapt in situations that you have no control over. However, always going with the flow, without a path in front of you and blindly going about your life isn't exactly great either. The solution is to find something balanced for yourself.

Lately, I've been seriously lacking time for myself and somewhere along the line, I lost myself. I'm worn out emotionally from people, mentally from work and physically from my inability to fall asleep and sleep through the night and the grown back pains. Everything is seriously taking a toll on me and I haven't figured what to do yet...

And the latest thing I learned...

"The truth is I can't be with you like this. I mean, I know I said that I could, but I can't. I just can't compromise myself like that. I mean I'm an emotional person. I feel things and I need to be able to get upset and talk about how I'm feeling. I mean that's just...that's who I am and I can't change it. I don't want to. And the thing is you know that, you knew it and you still pursued me because you want something with me, you just aren't strong enough to have it which...in a way makes you a coward. And the saddest part is that...one day you're gonna wake up and you're gonna realize what you missed and it's gonna be too late." - Felicity