Sooo... it's probably not a good thing that I'm saying this, but this morning was the first time in awhile that I really got something out of church.  The part that really stuck with me was 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Looking back at a specific person that was in my life until recently, I can honestly say that they did not display those qualities at all.  They were mean, jealous, very proud, rude, completely selfish, angry, and lusted after the world.  They did not care about me, did not trust in me, or hope for ANYTHING.  And they definitely were not determined... to do just about anything. 

Not only was this relationship completely unGodly according to these verses, but it was incredibly detrimental to me.  It encouraged me to do things I knew I shouldn't, and I realize now that when I was talking to this person often, I was for the most part very depressed and the people that were closest to me were always upset with me. 

Obviously, none of these things sound like they were part of a very uplifting relationship.  I guess I'm glad that I went through it.  Everybody needs to know what not to look for before they find what they need.  Hopefully, I'm done with that...

The proudest day of my life

Sunday, June 25th, 2006 was the proudest day of my life.  I accomplished something that I have been trying to do for years.  It is something that I have been afraid of, and something that I had no desire to do for awhile, but finally I decided it had to be done.  I would not feel complete unless I finally learned to do this.  I would just like to say thank-you to my brother who was there right beside me the whole time.

Abby Middleton finally learned how...

to ride a bike.

I'M BACK

That's right, kids.  I'm back and better than ever!   

Over the past couple of weeks, I have, I guess... seen the error of my ways?  Since, I don't know... fall?  I've been really messed up.  Actually, since freshman year I have been pretty messed up.  And I'm not saying I'm totally ok now, because I don't know if I ever will be.  (I believe that is my first step in getting over all of this.)  But hopefully, this can be the end of my incredibly self-destructive behavior.  I don't really want to get into many details about what all this includes, but... it's run the gamut of things. 

The point is, I wanted to apologize to... everybody for the past... forever.  And to ask you all to pray for me.  To pray that I can finally get back right with God and stay there.  That even if I don't have a time for a full devotion, I'll take the time out to, I don't know... do a listening prayer.  Or vent to God when I'm stressed instead of doing things that are going to hurt me and the people I love.  I'm just... sick of hurting, and I know the only way I'm not going to is if I rely on God.  I just have problems doing that sometimes. 

I guess... well, I know the main reason.  I am a control FREAK.  Main reason why I've done some of the things I have done.  Also the reason that I count and separate and put into patterns any food that is in colors or the like (m&m's, skittles, etc...)  I know... I have issues. 

Ok, back on track.  Basically, 3 points to this.

1. I'm sorry.
2. I'm back to regular me... kinda.
3. Pray for me.

Got it?  Good.  Bye.

So... I've decided on a favorite sense.  Yes, yes... this is strange.  But so am I sometimes, right? 

More than anything else (sight, touch, taste, or sounds) I love smells.  Smells seem... much more vivid to me.  Right now, I am LOVING the smell of corn on the cob cooking upstairs.  Weird, right?  Oh well. 

This past year around Christmas, my sister asked me what I wanted for Christmas.  I told her I wanted a ball of Christmas smells.  You know... pine, cinnamon, chocolate, ham... it's amazing.

I share this one with Kristen.  Baseball.  Baseball has its own smell.  I once asked for a ball of baseball... then realized how dumb that was, considering they make baseballs...   But it's still great.

Boys.  Boys almost ALWAYS smell good.  Unless they've been working really hard and haven't showered... but under normal circumstances, almost all boys smell good.

Performances.  I'm a performer, I do it a lot.  But there is a smell during a show.  It smells like... hairspray, and lemon juice, and make-up, and whatever munchies people decide to eat.  Sometimes it may still smell like paint or wood shavings... but I love it all.

I love the smell of new things.  New cars, new shoes, new clothes... it smells amazing.  My brother once yelled at me when I opened up his new shoes which were still in the box and started smelling them.  He said I was taking all of HIS smell away... so it's not only me!

Certain people's houses just smell... good?  Everybody's house has a smell, and you never notice your own house's smell because you're used to it.  Rach's house has an amazing smell.  I liked the smell of Anna's house that she no longer lives in.  I love Kris's houses smell...

I'm not sure if I actually like these smells or if they just remind me of some AMAZING experiences I've had... but I do know that I love to smell them. 

...am I really random all the time or just right now?

I may have finally found a background I can stick to... I'm kinda in love with it.

So, yeah... it's been an... ok weekend, I guess.  Friday night, I went to a ballet with Jeremy.  Oh my, it was amazing... It made me wish that I was 4 inches taller and I don't know... 50 pounds lighter or so.  Just kidding, not that much.  But I am only 5'2", so most likely, even if I really really wanted to, I don't think I could ever make it as a dancer.  I just don't have the body.  I wasn't built to dance, sadly...

Saturday, I... slept a lot.  THEN, my mom took me shopping.  I'm not sure what possessed her to do so.  She HATES shopping, but I'm not complaining.  I got 2 new skirts and a pair of white capris.  AND she said we could go back later to find a shirt to match one of the skirts.  Something happened to her Saturday, and I must say... I like it a lot. 
That night, Jen, Rach, and I went up to Kory's soccer game in Edwardsville.  So.  We get to this building, and we walk in... and standing there is Brendt.  That one guy I met at Cracker Barrel in October??  Yeah... it wasn't as awkward of a meeting as I thought it would be.  We talked, he gave me a hug... it was interesting, to say the least. 

Today I played at church as an introduction... that didn't go quite as well as I had hoped.  At one point, it really did sound like I was just slamming my hand down on the keys.  And from a couple of people I got, "Well, there was that one point, but I'm sure nobody noticed."  Yeah, well... if you noticed it, other people probably did, too.  Oh well... stuff happens, right?
Um, hung out with Ryne for awhile, then Tony.  Kinda felt like crap most of the afternoon and evening... I'm feelin' better now, though, so that's definitely a plus. 

Ummm... don't want to go to school tomorrow?  There's always the stuff sugar down my throat in the morning and hope I pass out once I get to school... JUST KIDDING.  I haven't done that in awhile... yes, I've done it before.  It didn't work, don't worry.  K... um, I think I'm just about done here.  Time for some bio, then bed.  Night, kiddos.