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sweetjessiemac
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Name: Jessica
Country: United States
State: Arkansas
Metro: Conway
Birthday: 8/12/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: skating, reading, watching movies, dancing, knitting, arguing, writing, photography, exploring strange places, taking long drives, christianity, curious aspects of life, complex guys, mysteries, music, piano, classic stories, psychic ability, meaning of dreams, other dimensions, meaningful conversations, scrapbooking, rock climbing, violin
Message: message me
Member Since:
9/1/2005
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| yay!i'm super excited! i'm going to ireland this summer for a whole month! i still need to get my loan though. i actually got a 4,000$ grant from the school. i feel so blessed right now. i've been sick for the past two weeks. i don't know what the deal is, but it might be because the birds are acting weird. who knows? have you noticed that EVERYONE is sick? i'm not kidding. sick of some sort of weird disease. one of my friends has a staph infection. another one had bronchitis. i have some kind of ear infection. my boyfriend lost his voice. my sister has an eye infection. this little girl who came into the store today had scarlet fever. how creepy is that? i don't remember everyone being really bad last winter. it's not just the flu, it's various stuff that you don't often hear about in such a short time period. right now i'm taking a writing for children class. i completely enjoy it. we have to write a children's picture book by the end of the semester. i'm a bit nervous about it. it's not that i have no idea what i'm going to write.... i have too many ideas. then i can never finish the story because i decide i should go a different direction. | | |
| my goals for the next 3 yearsThese are some things I would like to do in the next 3 years of my life ... if I live that long. I've been stuck in the house all day doing homework so it makes me think of what I would like to do. Here it goes : * go to NYC for Christmas * Masters Degree * Internship * Work at a Summer Camp * Study Abroad in Ireland * Go to France * Go skiing * Go to Disney World * Get my own Apartment * Publish my Book | | |
| life is crazy ....so far i have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off. there is so much stuff to do. i am now tri-sigma's social chair which means that i'm supposed to plan all the mixers between our sorority and the other fraternities. i didn't realize what a HUGE job it would be. i have a co-chair, but she has a lot of other responsibilities also. i think we'll find a way though. classes aren't too terrible. i do have a crazy english teacher who yells at everyone when they're late. i know this is a lousy update, but i'm really tired. i swear these last two days are about the only days in a while that i've actually had about 7 hours of sleep. the rest of the time i've been getting 4 or 5. anywayz toodles for now. | | |
| worthinessi was watching the music video "hurt" by johnny cash at church tonight. i had forgotten about that song. the first time i had ever seen the music video it made me cry. seeing johnny cash so old and broken pouring out his cup of wine and saying that his empire is worth nothing has to be one of the most powerful images i've ever seen. he is very right. all this time and money we spend trying to make our earthly empires will one day be worth nothing. we can't take it with us. what is the point of accumulating all that? to keep it with us until we perish and then what good does it do us then? i struggle with being too materialistic . it's hard for me to forget that material things aren't all what life is about. i get caught up in saving money for stuff i don't even need when other people around me are suffering. at church we're having this series called "the big screen" where our pastor is taking movies and stuff and talking about people's lives. tonight we did a segment on johnny cash. we watched some clips from walk the line and he talked about how if there was one song that you would write to describe your life what would it be? how will people remember you? also he touched on the worthiness of people. johnny cash felt that he was worthless. sometimes we put our faith in other people to tell us how important we are. we think that we need people to fulfill us. i think that it is good if we have others to help us along the way, but i don't think that it should come to the point that u use other people to identify who you are - that without them or without their acceptance that you are nothing. i like to think that this world is individualistic, but maybe it really isn't. he talks about in his music video how everyone goes away in the end. you can't really rely on other people to complete you. if you do when they leave you you will be nothing. i believe that God is a constant presence and that he is the only one we can truly rely on.
amidst all your riches when the end comes who are you and what have you become? | | |
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there are a lot of things in this world that i don't understand, but this in particular : why do people not really care to love others for who they truly are? i may be wrong about this, but it seems like most people come towards other people in a sexual point of view. they think that the only way to connect with a person is through their body so in order to be attracted to someone apparently you must be physically attracted and that's all that matters. supposedly the highest compliment is "you're hot. or sexy." really it's a bit disgusting. if that is all they appreciate in someone is being sexy... what is that worth? it's almost an insult. it's as if they're saying who you are doesn't matter, you're hot and that's all they care about. whatever happened to actually getting to know someone, listening to what they think, and who they want to be ? did that just disappear? is that no longer essential, because we're all about casual relationships... too afraid to go too close. i think everyone knows that becoming physically attached to someone is not near as important or emotionally damaging as being connected to someone on a different level, loving them just because they are who they are. i've noticed that people are searching for someone to love them, for someone to care just a little bit. we're all so deprived. sometimes we open up to the jerks and losers just to have someone to call when we're upset even if they don't always answer the phone. we think we can find completeness in just almost anybody. so some settle for these sexual relationships, thinking that they are really loved because someone wants to get close to them physically. they are missing the point. to love we must be selfless almost, knowing that the other one cares about us just as much as they care for themselves. then they will look to our best interest and we can do that for them. that sort of selfless love seems to be very rare.
someone once told me that there is a difference between a person listening to you just waiting for their turn to talk and the person who listens to you to hear what you have to say. i'm not saying all this to undermine the importance of physical attraction. obviously that is a large part of a sucessful relationship, but it's not everything. maybe the reason why relationships are so sexual is because girls are thought of as "bitches" or "only good for one thing." many women have lost respect for themselves and allow men to treat them like they really are worthless and only good for one thing. they think the only way to get a man is to market themselves as some kind of whore when really they deserve so much more. people who are so sexual that they cannot see past that are just hurting themselves. they don't know the real closeness that they are missing. they can't complete themselves without collecting all the valuable parts that make up a relationship. so an all sexual relationship is nothing but sex. an emotional connection is a friend. it seems that the two must come together and complete themselves to make a true relationship that lasts. of course compatibility and all that good stuff matters. i don't even know why i wrote all this. i just felt like writing something at 11 at night. whatever.
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