do you ever wish you didnt do some of the things you did? welp, i tend to push people away, and im pretty good at it. thats just something ive always done, and i think its just the fact that i dont want people taking advantage of me or hurting me. its kinda like you just dont feel like you fit in anywhere and you feel like you dont clique with anyone. you make things that happen into something bigger than they really are just so you dont have to deal with the people who did these things to you, when really what happened just might have been a misunderstanding. then people say that they are there for you and they really arent they just feel bad for you. i hate that. you just dont really know who your friends are, you know? i just cant wait to get out of edmond and get away from the people in edmond because i just cant take it anymore. these people that ive known forever, it just seems like its been a lie all along. kinda sad, but thats how it seems to me. next year i will be able to start over and meet new people, and hopefully it goes well. hopefully i wont do something stupid and regret it.

 this quote kinda makes me feel better though! "Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end."

So.....all i have to say today is that i cant wait till i graduate.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, for those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."-Dr. Seuss

hey hey hey! WELP i havent written in QUITE a while....ive been busy and lazy lol. anyways...this weekend i went and saw my friend perform at the wreckroom and had LOTS of fun! i also went to lawton and went to the mountains w/ my family for my sisters b-day....shes going to be 20 on the 13th!! its crazy cause i cant believe shes already 20! wow....well i am VERY excited about prom! i know that me and the people i am going with are going to have A LOT of fun! and my date and i are going to have the BEST time ever!  lol well, some exciting news for me....i get to go to colorado this summer! YAY!  the family i babysit for across the street go to colorado every summer and stay in a cabin they have up there and they invited me to come!! i dont have to pay for anything and i even get paid for babysitting a few times while we are there! its AWESOME!!  i told them that they really dont have to pay me since i dont have to pay for anything else, but they insisted! yeah so i know this summer will be a good summer, esp. with a FREE trip! hm well im gonna go finish listening to my tape on cd for english so im outro! write more later!

"Life is a balance of holding on and letting go."-my lover Keith Urban!

HAPPY EASTER!!!   ha well anyways...its been an ok week i guess. i got a book to read thats about 500 pages long and about 2 1/2 inches thick for an english project which sucks.....and i still have to write my essay for english that i havent even started thats due tomorrow...but other than that, its all good!  i went and saw my friend perform last night at the wreckroom and had LOTS of fun! it was crazy crazy crazy...you know what i really cant stand though? when people are REALLY stupid...not saying that anyone that i hung out with or saw last night is really stupid i just had to make that statement. why on earth people have to do such idiotic things just bugs the CRAP out of me! ya know? hm....well,  to leave on a lighter note, i hope everyone had an AWESOME easter! bye bye

"No real person is perfect and no perfect person is real."

bonjour!  well i just got back from paris around midnight last night and it was AMAZING! everything was SO beautiful. it is definitely somewhere that i would visit again. today is just washing clothes and resting for me! the only bad thing about it is that in france they are 7 hours ahead of our time so i would be sleeping right now if i were still there! it kind of sucks cause i know im not going to be able to sleep well for a couple of days...but thats ok ill get over it! well i dont have much else to say so i guess im out! i hope everyone had an AWESOME spring break!

"Sometimes life will bring you down, but if you stay strong, stay confident, you will make it through."