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sweetnessj2003
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Name: Joey
Birthday: 12/19/1984
Gender: Female
Interests: Family / Toby / Special Friends / Laughing / Crying / Movies / Music / TV / TV Shows / Shopping / Sandals / Preppy Clothes / Flip Flops / Arizona Weather / Eating / Cooking / Baking / Japanese Food / Carrier Library / Pranks / Snottyness / Working Out / Looking Hot / Laying Out / Sales / Chocolate Ice Cream /
Expertise: everything ;)
Occupation: Medical Student
Industry: Medicine
Message: message me
Member Since:
9/22/2003
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| So it begins... The next two weeks will be living hell...
sleepless nights
sleepfull days
or
vice versa
frustrations
pain
hardship
procrastinations
laziness
agony
complaints
Shit load of coffee by my side
and then...
It's SUMMER vacay! Hells yah.
(I can feel you already.)
Hellooooo.....Arizona, Virginia, New York, California, Las Vegas, and Seattle... | | |
| Almost there... It's a Friday night almost 8 pm and I am stuck inside my room reading my Berne and Levy Physio book just so I can tell the rest of my group mates what we need to do for our Physiology presentation. Friday night.. and I am still doing school work. I have been tired since I don't even remember. My shoulder's been in pain for a while now, and even a good massage doesn't seem to last for more than a day or 2 if I'm lucky. My body's giving up.. though my brain's telling me that I am nearing the home stretch. My first year as a medical student is coming to an end.. and you have no idea (except for my beloved classmates) how much I want it to end.
I just need to sleep for more than 4-5 hours and not feel guilty. I want to be able to have the feeling of "not worrying about something." I'm always worried about tests, exams, sgds, case studies, keeping up with everything that has anything to do with school. I know I shouldn't complain for this is the life that I have chosen.. but for tonight.. give me this chance to rant about how tired I am. How I wish I didn't care SO much anymore.I'm leaving for the States on March 28. That date has been embedded in my brain deep within my cerebral cortex. I wanted to do a little side job in between this summer, but I think i might skip on that. I will enjoy the little break I have doing absolutely nothing except push thru with my plans (VA, CA, NY, Cruise...) And I will not feel guilty about it.
 Through all this, I am still extremely grateful with my life. Even though I am dead tired, no exaggerations there, I am (THANK THE LORD) passing everything. I have managed and adjusted to the crazy, busy, killer, extremely toxic life of a medical student.
The next two months of my life with measure my surviving skills. It will give me an opportunity to test myself on how I manage under extreme stress. How I cope up with it. I am already stressed out about February and it hasn't even come yet.
I am almost there. Just have to tug through all this. Just survive. Try NOT to fall asleep in class. Try to DO everything that is humanly possible. STUDY harder . For all this will end one way or another. March 28 will soon come. I just have to wait.
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| It's November..I used to always have time to write about some daily ramblings back in college, however, now my time has been all about school. I can't believe that it is November already. I am turning 23 next month and it scares me. I am not getting younger (I will be reaching my mid twenties in 2 years by next month). I still remember those days where everything seems so care free.
School has been alright for me. I have survived my first semester of medical school and now am on the second semester as I type/speak. I know that second sem is going to fly by so quick just because I do a million things and I really can't recount every second or minute of it. Second shift of first sem flew by so quick. I'm getting excited because Toby comes next month. I am excited to be able to hug him and kiss him. I am excited that I can get that hug whenever I am feeling down. The more I am away from Toby the more I realize what I have in life.
My parents and brother are going to spend Christmas here in the homeland. Oddly, I am also very excited to see them. I'm just thankful that everything I'm doing now - is doable. Hard work is needed, but so far I am managing.
Till next time.
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| Slow dancing in a burning roomI was in bed the entire day. I was passed out. It seemed like someone
knocked me out unconscious and I am now just getting up. I should've
done work today, but I am tired. I am so tired. School is not the only
thing I'm worried. I worry about other things that matters to me.
Things have been hard with me. coping, studying, cramming, coping,
missing. Story of my life.
Sometimes I feel like I am the only
one complaining that I can't suck it up - but I see it in people's
eyes. They are tired. they need a break. Am i really cut out for this?
Do i really want to give up so much of my life? Toby tells me I am not,
but I always tell him crying that he doesn't know what I go through
everyday. I am a high stress individual. The moment I wake up and the
moment i fall asleep - I am still thinking of something.
I
just wish this is a phase. I am upset. I have been upset. I haven't
been able to understand myself. I don't want to blab out here.. but I
don't know how things will come about. I am trying, but it's hard. No
one erally understands. I am alone. I always try to be strong, but I am
in that point of a breakdown.
God help me. I always pray everyday
asking him to give me the strength. Asking him never to leave my side
because I need him the most.
I am a changed individual. Back in
college, I was never the type that didn't do their hw before going to
class. Last week was crazy. I was taking a test I was unprepared for (
i was just lucky I knew enough stuff to give me an 80%). I almost got a
zero because I fell asleep early the night before labcon and I wasn't
able to do my post labs. I am so mad at myself.. I am not this. I guess
I jsut have to push more... drink more coffee. do whatever. i will be a
changed individual. I don't care.. i just gotta do what I gotta do.
I don't want to push people away who cares about me anymore. You know who you are. I'm sorry. | | |
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