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Wide Awake.
Came home exhausted from the weekend and decided to take a nap...that's probably what is keeping me up right now. A big side of me didn't want to go to the after-strike cast party last night - mainly because I knew today was going to be a long one. Not only are Mondays the only days I have to get up early and work all day, but I was scheduled to teach two classes. I always have to get stuff ready, check equipment, and do all that stuff beforehand. Since yesterday was Mother's day (technically, two days ago), I got up wicked early so we could take my mom out to breakfast...I tried to take a nap afterwards, but that didn't really do any good.
It's kind of funny. I've spent a good deal of time telling people to go after their dreams. When I was a preachin man, this was a frequent concept for me. Out of the pulpit, it's been more of encouraging others to do stuff. There are even times when I myself take that big step. The funny part is that I, and everyone else that teaches this thing, never really tell people how to handle the defeat of an escaped dream. There just are things out there that can be impossible to complete. An absurd example...dreaming of winning the lottery. There is no amount of determination that can make this happen...yeah, the more you play, the higher your odds are of winning...but it's not something that can necessarily be caught.
I have no problem with chasing down things that have no finite end. Those who want to be actors, or musicians, or teachers, or whatever...they can chase those dreams down until their last day...and hopefully getting there. Of course, chasing dreams doesn't ensure catching them, but not chasing them ensures never getting them. We encourage people to go after what they want...which is good.
But what about when they miss the train? I mean, there are some dreams that have a deadline. It might be something that needs done by a certain age, or during a certain time period. Sometimes...a person can only take so much failure before they move on. We never really tell people that it won't always work out...that hard work doesn't always mean success...that wanting something doesn't mean you'll get it.
I find myself, just every now and again, thinking about some of those things that got away....that I can't do anything about now. Then I start looking at stuff that isn't necessarily out of reach, but that the time line is running out on.
Someone at the internet company I worked for used to always say, "If I'm not making mistakes, it means I'm not doing my job." This was one of those expressions that says how people who are active at work are going to make mistakes...if they aren't, then they obviously aren't doing anything. She said this because she made a lot of mistakes...probably more than anyone should make, but the idea is good. If you're out there trying...then you're going to fail. Show me a man who has never failed, and I'll show you a man who never really tries anything.
So, when I think about some of those missed opportunities, failures, and screw-ups... - the bright side is that I can say that I'm at least doing something. The dark side is that many opportunities have passed without a chance for a repeat. I guess you just move on...but the idea sucks anyways.
But with trying...there are some successes. I mean, they may not amount to anything in the long run....but it's nice to get a little encouragement every now and again.
My dad asked me about that award I won...what it was an all of that. He then said, "That will probably looking good on a resume, right? If you ever actually decide to look for a job..."
I'm not sure if a person can really win around here.
blah blah blah
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| | Posted 5/13/2008 3:33 AM - 0 comments
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