swtinnocence's Xanga

Friday, June 27, 2008

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 01:16:36 GMT

Looking back on the way things where during my childhood it's amazing to see all the younger ones grow up so quickly. I guess when I was their age... I wanted to be older, I wanted to to escape the lifestyle that surrounded us. I don't know what it will be like in a few years from now but you never forget where you come from and who has made a difference in your life. I wish it was easy to gather all of us together again but so much has changed since then ... maybe one day there will be a chance for all of us to just reminisce on what use to be our world together.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 02:30:15 GMT

Birthday's have become pretty dull compared to the way it was when I was younger. We use to always throw birthday parties at my house and it was fun but now it's hard to get friends together and do things together. We all have other things to do and it's just like any other day. Turning 22 is no different but of course I appreciated those friends who were able to come out to have dinner with me and make it one interesting night.

I've been bumming around since before graduation and nothing seemed to coming my way but there are reasons for things happening the way they do. I've learned that being greedy and picky about things isn't gonna get me anywhere but it will not stop me from my future goals and dreams that I want and will achieve.

Like the saying goes after the rain the sun will shine.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Wed, 28 May 2008 14:17:09 GMT

It's a tough world out there.

It's been about a month since the semester ended and a week or two since graduation. I am unsure what I plan on doing and how I am going to afford it. It's funny cause I've worked so hard throughout college and now I am at the end of the path and can't seem to find any answers. Job searching has been a pain and nothing has come through for me which drives me crazy. Anyways, I guess I've got to keep on moving and hopefully something will come my way.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 15:35:09 GMT

Have I become a better person?

I don't even know the answer to that... i've grown to be angry and bitter towards people. All my life I let people walk all over me and now... I barely know who I've become. Maybe the friends you have are who influence you to be a better person but I never imaged it would tear you down. My heart is inflicted by the unspoken words... the unkindness of the looks and harsh silence. Deep down in my heart I wish I wasn't so emtionally attached to words, people, things...life may be cold but I wouldn't have to question who've i've become ...

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:20:31 GMT

Overwhelmed...

Everything is going by so fast and maybe that's why I've been less motivated in getting my work done and completed. I don't want it to end ... The scary thing is that everything can change overnight and it will. You dream of achieving the greatest things in life and being a role model to the younger ones but now in the moment when the path presents itself and you must choose ...it all becomes a blur.

Tomorrow will be here before you know it and it all seems like just yesterday we just entered those classrooms and walked through those hallways and became friends ... but now we will be taking our last strolls through the hallways to class ... it's all ending too soon...but it is time to part ways to follow our dreams.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 23:15:33 GMT

Life is just about to begin...

As a child it was easy to dream and believe in them but as you grow older and the responsibilities continue to be put onto your shoulders Yet another four years have flown by and now i am at the end of the road ... less than three weeks left and there seems to be no path i can choose. I would like to believe that graduation is an exciting thing but it is not. It is a time where there are no right or wrong paths to choose but only your path.

I am hoping not to hit a dead end path. . .

It's not the end but the beginning to a lifetime.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 03:29:35 GMT

I haven't been doing so well with blogging again but of course when there is work to be done blogging sounds much better. It's almost spring break and there is a lot to be done during that time. It won't be long till graduation and a new beginning. It sure went by too fast and it's definitely gonna be harder to adjust. I will miss going to class, yes going to class, going to lunch with friends, and just plain old joking around...

I guess I will be cherishing it while it lasts.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 20:28:47 GMT

Rain, Rain Go Away...

The weather has been depressing lately and I am pretty sure everyone is waiting on edge for the weather to clear up. I can't focus on studying when all I want to do is sleep. Sounds much better than studying.

Anyways... Happy Valentine's Day to you all. <3

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Thu, 07 Feb 2008 02:27:00 GMT

My attempt into getting back into blogging has been hard since I barely write in a real journal. I guess it's not the way it use to be and facebook/myspace have moved into the picture. I am going to try my best to get into the routine in blogging on xanga again but in the mean time... I should get some studying done - Happy Chinese New Year!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Thu, 13 Sep 2007 23:50:33 GMT

It's been awhile since I've had any type of inspiration to write and somewhere along the line I had lost myself and needed to rediscover it all.

Senior year has begun and I'm scared to see it all go but ready for a change. During the last semester I lost myself and who I wanted to be and after some struggles of analyzing who can I truly trust and believe in. I had a passion for something but in between the "he said, she said" you tend to get caught up in the so-called drama. And sometimes friends also get caught up into fueling the fire - either way this year is going to be a year to rediscover my goals/dreams and a year I want to make more memorable than the years past.

And to begin that process I must apply what I learn to my life. For example, I am currently taking a Leadership and Decision-Making Class and it's been making my brain turn. As I mentioned before I had a passion for something that no one will understand (and also I have been criticized for taking baby steps in letting go) and that passion put me in a leadership role. But I realized I no longer wanted to be a part of it due to the many people I had encountered who were also considered leaders that did not display that one bit. I take pride in what I do and I respect others for what they do also but I don't believe I was close to being a leader, as well as my peers being leaders, due to the fact we got caught up in being better than another person. We all shared similar goals and visions but it no longer is there due to our lack of attention to what really mattered.

I guess you can say I see the bigger picture now and it's never too late to acknowledge your mistakes.