| | I thought this was pretty funny actually and thought I'd pass it along. -
NICKNAMES
* If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each
other
Laura, Kate and Sarah.
* If Mike, Dave and John go out, they
will affectionately refer to
each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and
Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
* When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John
will each throw in $20,
even though it's only for $32.50. None of them
will have anything smaller
and none will actually admit they want change
back.
* When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
* A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
* A woman
will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on
sale.
BATHROOMS
* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and
toothpaste,
shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
* The
average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man
would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
* A woman has the last word in any argument.
* Anything a man says after
that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
* A woman worries
about the future until she gets a husband.
* A man never worries about the
future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
* A successful man is one who
makes more money than his wife can
spend.
* A successful woman is one
who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
* A woman marries a man expecting
he will change, but he doesn't.
* A man marries a woman expecting that she
won't change, but she
does.
DRESSING UP
* A woman will dress
up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
trash, answer the phone,
read a book, and get the mail.
* A man will dress up for weddings and
funerals.
NATURAL
* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
* Ah,
children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows
about dentist
appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret
fears and
hopes and dreams.
* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in
the house.
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| | Posted 7/22/2008 10:28 AM - 6 views - 3 comments
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