Tsunami Bubbleboillum in my Neurilemmal Sheath
Ravi: Bhaisaab!! Haji Ali chaloge???(To Taxi Driver)
Robert Deniro: .... Ting(Meter down)
Ravi: Radio Bandh kar dena(Fukin Radio city)
(14thJan2005,straight after work at Go925fm...had a nice show...both participants were good...my work done well....)
Deniro:Shingal(read signal)se pehle wala right loonga....
Ravi: haan theek hai( read Bhenchod CNG gaand mein phatega)
(I got off at the signal like i always did-lil fukin angel child that i am-i looked to the left then right...cars were still...red signal for them...green man on the signal light....30 more legs crosssing along wid me...i had just reached the other side when...)
Van Damne Pandurang: Ikde ye...kuthe jaaatos haa??
Ravi:Me???(thank god one word is common in english as well as marathi)
Van damne Pandurang : haan tu...hero...
Ravi: Kaay Zaala?( the only other marathi words i know are...Dhagala Lagli Gala...and...Jai maharashtra...Marathi Maanse Jaaga Whore or ho...fuk it)
Ravi's Mind: Gaand lagli(read...Bamboos up ass)
(In 2 seconds all 15 of us were insde Haji Ali Police Station)
Sub-Inspector Bholale: Do you know ur crime???
Ravi&Others:No(Chorus)
S.I.Bholale:(To Ravi)U no english??
Ravi: Yes sir!!!
S.I.Bholale: turr mala saang tikde tumi lokansathi itka motha sub-way banawalos aahe ....ani tumi lok rastyavar dhaavtos.
Ravi Mind: Holy Smokin Pandu....wat happned to the English...
Ravi: Could u be more specific please...
Old 'One Foot in grave'Catholic Aunty: Wat is this...i have been living here for teh past 3000years...
S.I.Bholale: Listen boy!!! tichers in ur school didunnnt tich u rod safety???
Ravi: Arkkhu marzahani tulafuk!!!(Arabic for Wat the fuk)
S.I.Bholale: U pipulls were caught in teh act of JAY WALKING...on zebra crossing ...maheet aahe tula ...jay walking kaaay aaahe???....ek bughhh....J-A-Y...dublyu- yal- king ....kabhi suna hai???
Foreigner chik: (caught in same 'act' wid me wooo- hooo)-But sir...we dont know the rules here...
S.I.Bholale to 'Amadeus Mozartish lookin hobbit hawaldar': chyaa maayla...(Smokin mother of ...)
(Fight goes on for 1and a half hours....ultimately shivaji maharaj wins...but loses value in front of praja)
(in bajooowala corner another case being cleared...man caught for riding bike without wearing helmet...lets name him...Pablo...and the inspector..lets name him Dharmadhikari)
Inspector Dharmadhikari: kya hai helmet nahi pehnega...matha phutega...bheja agar hai toh bahar aayega...phir hum logon ko saaaf karna padega.....500Rs..Chalo(Literal-wat is?? no helmet-skull cracking-if brain detected-then spilling out--then i have to clean shit-500Rs -Chalo)
Pablo'Fukin 7feet'-Galti maana maine...aapke hawaldar ne jisne mujhe bike pe follow karke pakda usne khud helmet nahi pehna tha(ur cop wasnt wearing helmet either-Subliminal message-He has the sea of serenity in his skull too...basically... http://zappa.brainiac.com/spaceship/FatMessiah/hard-vacuum.jpeg )
(.....Ultimately i had ta pay 50 bucks instead of 200...)
S.I.Bholale: Mr.Ravi u want pavti?
Ravi's Mind: Fukin Ghati now wants to spank me ...Freakin Faggot...madarchod...(mallu gaalis also came out...nazhin de mon(Son-o-bitch)...patti(Bow-wow)...tendi(beggar)....chandimandi(ass scratcher)
Ravi: pardon me...
S.I.Bholale:Arrre Chalaan...receipt...phir bolega...govt ka paisa khagaya...aiii zavadya...aise hi hota hai...u think im corrupt...no i have cleeens record ....12 year service no bad mark....tula maheet aahe...after Scotland yard...best force Mumbai Police...NOW TELL ME FULL NAME
(All this for a mere...PARDON)
Ravi: Ravi Shankar
(I Was abt to leave and...)
S.I.Bholale: so wat were u doing here in haji ali?
Ravi: Sir, I had some work in tardeo
S.I.Bholale: wat work?
Ravi: i work for a radio channel
S.I.Bholale Mind: Gaand Laagli(Bamboo up ass)
S.I.Bholale:(Shifting bamboo base to left ass and mustering his lost confidence bak)...kaunsa station
Ravi:(removing his bamboo and giving to S.I.Bholale)
GO92.5FM(read tujha aicha gho 92.5fm)
S.I.Bholale: Dont repitt mistake ok!!!
Ravi: ....
(Got into 84Ltd bus...took at ticket to worli doordarshan ...got down...used the zebra crossing...crossed the sea of SERENITY)
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