ni

gosh, i haven't written in here in SUCH a long time, (although  maybe it's not that long) therefore i haven't been here either that's why i'm so late in responding to you di.

i feel really bad about it because these days... i've been really.... well focused on myself, and though it was an overlook that i didn't see your message until now! 3 days later! i still can't help but feel so.... guilty and selfish. except i knew i was selfish before it's just now that i'm guilty about it.

i'm glad you wrote because it's nice to know that you still remembered me, or maybe this is your only private outlet?, either way, i feel.... honored. gee, i feel ultra weird for saying that. see.... it's always been me saying "di, log on to read below," so when you wrote "log on to read below, di" i thought.... that maybe i had wrote it and just forgot. and then of course, i figured out that it was you, duh. i know it's a little late in saying this, and you're probably over it already because that's how those things are anyway. you get really upset about them then... you forget until the next explosion. because you know, these things are inevitable, they always happen, the explosions will keep coming one after another, and... you forget because you love them and they love you, and i know this sounds TOTALLY cheesy but.... it's the truth.

i've had more than my share of bad explosions with moms, or rather just my one mom, and i know that they really get on your nerves and you just want to curse and curse and curse (healthy in this case) and sometimes i wanna curse in their face too, and say all they things i WANT to say, but of course i can never say it because.... well then that would just disrupt the order of things. and i've thought of times when i want to just go over there and strangle her but... that's erally really bad so i restrain myself. willpower!

maybe you've noticed, maybe you haven't, i don't really know what to say in response. because everyone has bad days, and everyone (more than everyone) hasbad days because of parents. so maybe this sounds mean, or maybe it'l upset you and want you to break all bonds with me..... maybe it's not such a big deal? i mean, maybe it's not so bad that your mom was being a bitch because everyone's moms can be bitches sometimes (a lot of the times) so... dont' sweat it. dont' overthink it and don't dwell on it. dwelling and thinking... BAD

ciao babe