Blogs Tagged With open-letter options | rated: b

  • Concerning All the Cool People

    Dear Cool People,You may not be aware that you have been collected. You have. I have a collection, and you are in it. Congratulations, you deserve an award. So go out and buy yourself one. I suggest one of the big ones, suitable for hanging hats. Gasp! I just had a brilliant idea where to hang my ha…

  • An Open Letter from Lt. Oliver Twisted to the Members of Spiritus Ex Machina

    In October 2023, this letter was sent to all the field agents of the Spiritus Ex Machina movement, who had been imposing themselves covertly into every layer of Western culture for the past sixteen years, especially the culture in the U.S.A., which was their primary target. Their goal was simple: to…

  • Concerning All the Pretty People

    Dear Pretty People,It may never have occurred to you that you have the leisure to not be boring. Because you are pretty, you may presume that your only function is ornamentation. This has a level of truth. You do, by appearing, make the world more pleasant to watch. You may also think that if you ar…

  • Open Letter to Scientists

    An Open Letter to Scientists It's about time for scientists to admit the existence of The Supreme Being. "The heavens declare the glory of God." Recent worldwide dialog has rather certainly concluded that the Theory of Evolution is not in any way opposed to, or incompatible with, the Universe as C…

  • I Have a Dream (an open letter to my brain)

    Dear Brain,Don't get me wrong, you're great and I do appreciate all of the things you do consciously and unconsciously.But can we keep the chatter about reality, physics, philosophy, space-time, perception, religion, existence, mathematics, netflix queues, or other existential matters to DAYLIGHT HO…

  • XTV (It's fixed!)

    XANGA! You have spoken, and you have been heard! While Xanga didn't contact me after this or anything, they did silently fix Xanga TV. I just tested it and it is working. I don't know why Xanga didn't contact me, or make an announcement to my knowledge, but I'm glad to see that even if they are quie…

  • Dear Michelle Obama...

    I met you tonight. I shook your hand, and even linked arms with you for what must have been your 507th portrait of the night. Your husband had just complained about standing for 2 hours straight, as he saw our violin group gleefully approach with hopeful looks. I saw the annoyance in his eyes w…

  • The Beastie Boys - Open Letter To NYC

    Speaking of New York Anthems, here is one from those nice jewish boys from the city, The Beastie Boys. It's off their very NYC centric album, To The 5 Boroughs. It was a favorite of mine at the time. It was really the first song that seemed to be about getting over 9/11. No, not to forget it, but to…

  • An Open Letter to Lindsay Lohan

    Dear Lindsay Lohan, I miss the old you. I miss the curves you had on your body when you were in Mean Girls. I miss the natural color of your hair when you were in The Parent Trap. You always seemed so happy. You see, I have freckles as well, and when you were completely "nature", I was only a f…

  • Roger Goodell. Again.

    http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/news;_ylt=Aub7xqKUYbvPHIBvJxwLuZVDubYF?slug=ap-superbowl-london&prov=ap&type=lgnsOk, I don't know exactly what is running through your mind, but as an above-average-joe, I think the Super Bowl is already well and beyond far out of reach of your average fan other t…