it's hard to walk away from what you've know to be true and real and comfort.  its hard to turn your back on the things you used to look in the eye.  i hate to want to leave you but its harder just to stay and pretend i see us being us tomorrow. 

unrelated...

touching colors bleed onto the canvas of the sky and through the reflection in your eyes. black lines shoot from nowhere around us as we embrace.  breath lingers on my neck and shoulder as i soak in the hue of you, let it take over my spirit and blend with my nature.  sky lines and skies lines and fine lines around brown eyes and deep shades of steel grey and songs play and we stay and make ways for lost days: loves symphonies. you bow into me and press you lips to my neck. you breath in deep and i breath out deep and i breath in deep to keep the memory.

selah

There is always something beautiful in finding your voice again, even just for a moment.  and so quickly that moment passes and i stumble to write anything.  what is true and what is real is that i am on strike.  my once desired outlet has become a constant reminder of failure. but today is a day to do what i've done and say that i am still the same silly girl i was 4 years ago. still the one who cant seem to stop loving when she needs to and keep walking when she has to. 

i find myself day dreaming about moments i had been banning from my memory.  i find myself day dreaming about kisses under multi colored skies and about better days and even better nights.  about long walks and sig smoke. about misplaced conversations and no conversations and misunderstood conversations. but mostly i find myself day dreaming about the good and less of the bad.  i find myself day dreaming about the wrong and less of the real.  so wrong.  but some days daydreams feel right when its floating away from reality.  and i want to float far away, just long enough to really smile.

and when i come back down i'll land on a cotton filled pillow asking me to dream another dream about possibilities and possibles and maybes. 

when reality shines through my window tomorrow tell him to take a seat and wait for me to come around.

selah

time is moving quickly now, beats r erratic and i still try to breath easy.  but easy is what it should be like and not what it is. then he makes that move that wakes you up and u realize where the hell u are. one almost gentile touch to your cheek and ur pulled into whats supposed to be the best part of love. but whats supposed to be best is never enough, and the only thing that fills empty nights and cold sheets are hot tears that seem to pour out.

selah

Great Golden

when she opened that window it seemed ordinary but today sunshine came in like a warm wind and surrounded her spirit with its golden, embrasing her, calling her golden. her eyes, so bright they seemed to speak proverbs like His words, they shimmered a sense of rememberance. then, a tear for loss, one for heart ach, and a mothers love. 

as quickly as she came, great golden left.