|
tallnthin88
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Shauna
Gender: Female
Interests: theatre, modern dance, ballet, modeling, ana, mia, body fat, nutrition labels, caloric intake, film, wasted, anything that has to do with health.
Expertise: having fun, partying, broadway musicals, art stuff, hiding mia, shopping, exercising, modeling, anything that has to do with food and weight!!
Occupation: theatre student
Industry: Entertainment
Message: message me
Member Since:
8/24/2004
|
|
| Wow...it has been forever.... So much has happened i cant even sum it up in one entry. But long story short, ima sophmore in college...at a very prestigious art college, i am a theatre/musical theatre major, and i am going through some shit. I am seeing an ED counselor in secret to and srtop purging, and my father whom i love so much died about 2 weeks ago. I am so sad and numb. I cried so much during the first week when i went to the funeral, but now i am soooooo fucking numb. I try to feel the emotion so i can move past it but i cant. I feel it is going to affect my acting. Whats funny girls, is i havent thrown up since my father died. IT TOOOK HIS DEATH TO FINALLY MAKE ME REALIZE WHAT THE FUCK I WAS DOING TO MYSELF. i love him enough to not hurt myself. But i have no appetite, and i am struggling with how much food is enough, and not enough. its so hard. One of my friends, my best firend really, cuts herself and is trying to develop an ED like me, and i am so scared for her. Its not fun, i am very unhappy. Why should she join in!? ugh. Anyhooo if anyone is still out there, i would love support, i hope u all are well. STay strong and for gods sake be smart. | | |
| I have been going into a deep ass depression all last week and this week. I gained back 1 lb and i think im gonna start my period soon cause my boobs hurt soooo bad. I have been vomiting about everyday since Sunday. I am not binging.... just eating more than my usual. I am running 2-3 miles a day plus the weight room and a ballet bar. I am more toned. I need some advice regarding sticking to a fast. I can be fine until i get home after i have worked out. I end up eating. I try to distract myslef...but i somehow end up in the kitchen... any suggestions? | | |
| I have no urge to write anything. I am tooo ashamed and angry to articulate what i am feeling. Someone shoot me now please!!!!! | | |
| Life is strange.... i have a crush on my voice teacher Ellen. lol. She was anorexic and has the most gorgeous body in the fucking world. She is so sensual and sexy and has the tightest ass ever! She is also a yoga instructor. Yeah i have never really liked liked a woman so its like im Ellen-sexual than bi-sexual. That and im so sexually frustrated. lol. I mean, that is one thing that i havent lost from being bulimic/anorexic. I am at a standstill right now with weight. My body hit a plateau. Well. I am starting the Master Cleanse tomorrow. I shall tell u all how it goes. Stay strong grlz. ttyl SHauna | | |
| TOMORROWS MY BIRTHDAY!!!! Ill be 19. Freaky wh> Ive lost all together 8 lbs in a week and 1/2. I fucked up today and ate a cookie. I didnt even want the fucking cookie!!! But oh no Shauna just had to have the fucking cookie. So FUCK ME! I dont know why the fuck i do that. I wasnt even hungry and my intake was amazing until then!>. ANyhoooo life is crazy and school is crazy and my fat ass is CRAZY!!! God i sound like im on crack.... maybe because i had sugar. Sugar can act alot like crack on a deprived body eh!!!! | | |
|
|
