Tuesday, March 04, 2008
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Do you think living with your significant other before marriage is a good idea? Why or why not?
At the moment, I am living with my significant other and we are not married. A part of me is happy with this arrangement but a part of me feels guilty about it because I was raised to believe that marriage comes first. The majority of my friends and family have strong traditional values and so I know that many of them disapprove of my decision to live with my other half. This makes things difficult because I cannot turn to them for support when I need it.
I don't believe this question has a definitive yes or no answer because we are all unique individuals with different personalities and values. There are some people who should definitely live together prior to marriage to help them understand what living with another human being (who you can't evict) will be like. On the other hand, there are people that don't need a "trial run" because their relationship does not ask for it.
My other half and I have our ups and downs but for the most part we are happy living together prior to "sealing the deal" because it is giving us an opportunity to learn more about each other and from our mistakes before we jump the broom. We both came from extremely dysfunctional families and so this adventure that we are on together is helping us come to terms with our pasts in order to make a better future. If we had been married before we had lived together, I know that we would probably be on our way to the divorce courts.
I know that many people consider it a sin and when I encounter the disapproving glares, a part of me feels like the world's biggest sinner for living "in sin". Whenever, I start to feel guilty I try to hold on to the fact that I am doing what is right for my life and that this experience has made our relationship stronger and has made me discover new things about the person that I am and would like to be. Living with any human being is difficult regardless of whether or not they are your spouse.
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Comments (1)
I lived with someone once. It was a huge mistake. Both our levels of understanding one another and our lack of communication made it for a terrible run..I think it depends..if you both of the people are compatible than yes living ogether would workout I presume.
But on the other hand I learned from experience that living together doesn not bring a closeness. My b/f at the time was emotionally absent from everything. I thought somehow it would get better once we lived with one another. But it didn't turn out that way because my expectations were the only thing I had up during my tolerance level.
Good luck to both of you's. And if you ever need support message me. Don't be shy. I'm good for it.