this is one of a few entries I'm not listening to music. that probably because I'm not even in the mood for that.... I think that I might have made an error of decision at least partly... I've started talking to Jen, and that's not the problem I really missed her and missed talking to her.. the error might have been putting myself in a situation where I so desperately want to be with her again. I took her out on a date last night, didn't go very well but the theme of theme of the night was to get her mind of some stuff that has been troubling her and that much worked. But I don't know if her and I will actually WORK. The problem is this, she is pretty stuck on this other guy, Shawn... They're not going out, don't plan on going out but still they act as though they are. I just want my one person to spend my time with, and Jen has always been that person, my rock, my one solid foundation so that when the rest of my life crumbles she is there for me. But she's not, she's so lost and caught up with her own afflictions that she doesn't realize that maybe there is this nice guy who really cares for her. I would do anything for just another shot with her, just once more.... It's so weird how my posts seem so uplifting then so depressing, one minute i'm with her one minute I'm not then I try to move on, but she's that person I'm stuck on, who I can't let go of. I look in her beautiful blue eyes and i realize that I want to be her more then I want anything else in this entire world. But like Wile E. Coyote she is that one roadrunner I can't catch and hold on to.


True advice.. then call me

Critisism.... don't bother because I know how I feel and you don't

SCREW ANYONE AND EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER SAID THEY CARE ABOUT ME, FUCK YOU! EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT HAS TOLD ME THAT IS JUST FUCKING FAKE! SO FUCK YOU! FUCK EVERYONE!