I looked through my old entries today and realized how important some moments of my life have been since I started you 3 years ago. It's hard to say goodbye to friends and people you care about but that seems to be whats happening in my personal life, so why stop there. I have enjoyed all my memories and the times that I have shared with you. But now its time to say goodbye. I will keep what I have written as reminder of some of the most crazy and fun moments that I have experienced in these last three years. My sometimes awkard times in Brasil, being stranded, visa problems, great friendships, the beach, my family, and my home. I will remember special moments that I have had with friends. Some very fond memories at Kstate. Going out on my 21st birthday in Aggiville, Seeing AL Sharpton, Danny Glover, and Al Franken. Rapping to Kriss Kross at Kites, Classes that pushed me, being in Flyin' West, finding out what "dance is" what "dance isn't" and then finding out what it is to me, my boyz Nick and Nate. Working as a multicultural assistant in Goodnow, the hard work, fun and the drama that the job brought. Leaving Kstate  Moving to Wichita this past year. The new bonds that I have made, ones that I have lost. Being in love and losing it. Understanding my friends, getting ready for my future, growing much as a person and artist, taking risks, and working hard to be happy. What the future holds I don't know. If I have learned anything in these few  past weeks I have learned nothing in life is certain. Not people's reactions to bad news. Not even your'e own reactions to love. I want to be happy, I want to be successful, I want to be somebody! I will continue to work towards those goals. I suppose I think that I must wait on life to start and that right now I am somehow in a void. Where I once thought things at this moment in my life wouldn't change, wouldn't be obstructed that I would be able to endure hardship and failure and laugh at them in the face and look back and say these moments were special I know sit on the brink of distruction and realize that this is an illusion. All I can do is leave this behind I move on. I don't want to rush life and forget that I still have so much to be happy for, so much to look forward to, so much to prepare for, and so much to live for. Osho is one of t he most important spirtual mystics of the 20th century. Towards the end of his life was surronded by scandals created by followers in the American commune set in my native Oregon. Although this is true his philosophies preach the search for freedom, individuality with a strong emphasis on love and human psychology.  He once wrote   Life is not short; life is eternal, so there is no question of any hurry. By hurrying you can only miss. In existence do you see any hurry? Seasons come in their time, flowers come in their time, trees are not running to grow fast becasuse life is short. It seems as if the whole existence is aware of the eternity of life. We have always been here always, and we will always be here always-of course not in the same forms or the same bodies. Life goes on evolving, reaching to higher stages. But there is no end anywhere, and there has been no beginning anywhere either. -Osho- I am not beginning a new chapter with the closure of this one I am nearly stepping away at this moment  and allowing myself to not get into the way of life. I have done that and in some ways I have taken a step in the wrong direction. I am not sad anymore  for what I have gained or lost this week I am hopeful that this lesson will make me grow. I know tomorrow I won't wake up and everything will be same or everything will be different.  I do believe for the rest of the semester I will be continuely wondering how and  this semester hasn't been like any other semester in my entire college career. I want to take a moment to just remember the first time and remember back to when I was 5 and my little brother was brought home from the hospital probably the most memorable moment of my life to date. I still remember the way my mother looked. I remember those days on the Oregon beach and  how I thought that life would always be like this. I moved around so much in 22 years, I have meet so many people. Some have been great influences on me, some have hurt me, some have saved me from destroying myself or other people, Some have loved me, and some have learned from me. Out of all these people I don't know all  the ones that I have influenced, hurt, saved, love, taught something to. But I do know that they have effected me. It is not my goal to say goodbye to you and leave you with much to think about but it is my goal to move on.  I realize now more than ever that my thoughts are my own. My realationships are my own. And these things I hold close to me and don't ever wish for them to be scrutinized or even misconstruied by some 3rd person. Life isn't meant to be lived that way. Life is meant to be lived, talked about but not scrutinized. Because I don't believe we as people live to think about what would could have done to change those moments where we lived so freely and expressed that force maybe literally and then reflect on it with contempt. I don't regret anyhing I have ever written or done. I do regret things I haven't done and I do regret if I have hurt anyone. But I too kno that from this moment I turn my back on the shadow of yesterday I swallow my pride and let my soul lead the way. I won't acknowledge the old horizons new shift because each change fo each clouds swift, will remind me of my antique path. Each tatured roads unforgiving wrath, a lonely trail where each stone can no longer be a reminder. I am moving on to somewhere kinder. A new goal for my still unrefurbished sooul. I will shine from the inside out and be the light for the new Sun's desent. My light will be my soul's new element. On a new journey into a new horizion. a new road I will pave. Exploring, learning, growing  as my spirit leads the way.
On that note a say goodbye I turn down my light and head to bed with other things on my mind. Thank you once again for letting you share my thoughts with you and also teaching me that they have always truely been mine.
Daniel