A few years ago I latched onto an concept that I’ve held onto till this day. It was: 

“I want to completely change the world, and yet I want to be completely forgotten when I’m gone.”

At the time, I thought the only way to really create meaningful change was to do it completely devoid of self-desire. 

Tonight, as I was preparing for tomorrow’s lesson plan on Techno Music, I read something that re-awakened that sentiment and inspired me.

As some of you may know, Techno music had it’s start in Detroit in the early 1980s, but not really. Actually the roots of techno actually came from a German based group called Kraftwerk. American techno got it’s start from the combined inspiration of Kraftwerk (a completely electronically group) and the work of George Clinton and the Parliament. How and why Detroit? Juan Atkins, one of the Detroit founders, attributed it to the work of a local radio DJ named Electrifying Mojo, who had a 5 hour radio program each night, where he got to play anything he wanted. This DJ, with he’s love of showcasing new music, actually introduced Kraftwerk to the Detroit listeners. This in turn, inspired three college students to infuse Kraftwerk ideas with the other music they were listening to at the time (George Clinton)- to create what would be known as Techno.

What I like so much about this is not only did these three students utterly chance the face of modern music (Missy Eliot just recently sampled their work in “Loose Control”) but that it all stemmed from the work of a local DJ that has since been long forgotten. His love of music, and especially his love of introducing new music, led to one of the biggest contributions in recent music history. (Early techno, of course, not only lead to the European club techno we know so well, but has also been considered one of the forerunners to early rap and hip-hop.)

It just goes to show that we can do so much without ever even realizing it.

So I've been teaching now for an entire 6 months. I think now I'm finally able to get my head out of what I'm doing enough to enjoy (at least for breif moments) the rest of life. I've just become a proud owner of my very own lawn mower, and I've learned to order cigars online. I even talk to girls (not high school girls) in a 'not completely' platonic way. If only I could play the piano.

School is winding down. Seniors tell me they only have 30 days left- which to me is still 45 hours of quality music theory time I could spend with them, and believe me, we could have so much fun with those 45 hours, but they see it a little different. So now I'm trying to get back in the groove of being mean and keeping things going for this last month. Fortunately we still have three performances. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to teach normal classes. With my kids, at least I can say "Work or they'll all laugh at you." but for regular teachers...

Well, I feel like I'm beginning to be accepted now as the Chorus teacher. Since I started, back in October, a lot of kids have morned that the old choir teacher, who retired, no longer works there and life will never be the same. Oh, it's a horrible feeling to have to replace someone who had worked there for 20 years. Even other teachers remembered her as their chorus teacher. Well last week with our great concent, the kids have begun to accept that maybe I too, dare they say it, may also have some musical talent. So today one of the kids said "You're just a couple noches down from Mrs. Price." -Wow! I'm glad things are looking up!

Tonight was the big night! We performed and things went better than even I could imagine. I'm still in shock right now! The house was full, the kids behaved great, sang great and with enthusiasm, I even talked to the audience some and was funny. (it's hard for me to be funny in front of a lot of people). and they loved our show. the kids loved it, one kid even say "Mr. Taylor, I know you're a first year teacher but you don't act like one." I was so happy.

When I look at what I posted last night, I think I was so scared of failing. This was our second concert, and on the first concert we did fail. I couldn't keep the kids quiet and energized, and I really failed at publicizing the concert. So with this concert, I think I was facing a lot of doubt on whether I really could be successful- and so I imagine a lot yesterdays post reflexes that doubt.

Right now I still don't know what to think. The show just ended a few hours ago so my head is still spinning around- who knows how it will land and where my final opinion of tonight will rest.

Well tomorrow is our big concert. We're doing musical scenes- so we have costumes, tons of solos, and too much movement. After all this work, I think it would have just been easier to do a musical. Anything with a lot of kids on stage at the same time makes me grumpy!

I think, though, this will probably be the last time I do something really adventurous with this group. I've noticed that mentalities are different at different schools. At the last school I worked for, they would have expected to do musical scenes, or even more crazy things, they would have tried to do a circus presentation if you told them... and yeah, maybe it would go badly, but they would tell everyone "Well, we had live elephants." It's very different for this group, I think they would much more prefer to do something very simple very well. They like music, and they like what we're doing, but I think the unknown really freaks them out- and I suspect tomorrow when we'll have mixed success, because we're doing something so new, they'll be disappointed.

It's new for me to think like this, but probably I should have really taken the group's pulse when I first started here. Outside of individual dynamics, I imagined that most high schools are about the same and will want the same things- but now I'm beginning to see them as living entities in themselves- each group has a unique desire and need- and a good teacher is one that can read them... I don't think I read my group well when I started- but I don't think I even tried to read them.

Come to think of it, one of my professors in graduate school once showed us this unique theory she had on the dynamics and personality of an organization. I thought it was brilliant at the time, but never thought of it when I started teaching- but really, now I think she was right- I see everything she said happening... spooky but brilliant! (I think that's a Harry Potter line).