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| LostSometimes you feel that you aren't you... You feel like you haven't found yourself. You put yourself down for the way you look or act. Anything you do isn't good enough. Your living a life with expectations that are impossible to reach, yet you hope that maybe one little thing will occur to change everything...
I feel unconfident about myself... I want to better myself. I don't mean mentally, but physically... I'm not happy with myself, yet I am unsure what I want to do... who am I? Do I even know? I'm so plain, I am up for a change, but I'm not sure if I am ready... I see my flaws and I want to fix them. Am I really sure what I want in life?
Where is my life going? Am I prepared for what will happen after college... my mind is blank. I am at a lost of what to do... | | |
| Shredding my Heart...All I do is keep trying... I keep believing that when I'm told something it's sincere. It's all a lie.
I hate this feeling I become broken and would rather just run away. I have found out things in this past week that have left me hurt and confused. It's really heart breaking to know that friends you thought had were never really there. I thought that one person would have been my friend only to find out they never really liked me in the first place. I tried so hard to keep in touch with this person, I guess I should have known when they never write me back, message me, or anything like that. I really tried.
As for another friend, or turned out to be a kind of backstabber. I never though I would have to deal with one of those. She has had feelings for my boyfriend now all she does is text him and never trys to talk to me. What makes it worse is he doesn't stop it. when he knows it hurts my feelings. She try to ask if he wants to hang out or go to a concert with her, yet she was suppose to be considered to be my close friend. Yea right... she's told him she had feelings for him and when me and my boyfriend were going through hard times she was there for him not me. She lie to me, to my face. She said she would stop but that was another lie. I don't need a friend that uses me and I don't need a friend that was never a friend with me to begin with. | | |
| lostHe tells me that I'm the only one for him, yet he is so good at leading others on. I feel that the love is gone and I am just a puppet in his little game. I believe him so much and Love him with all my heart and soul but he just continously hurts me. I feel that he isn't being truthful to me and what makes it worse is that he is such a good liar that he even convinces himself. He makes me hurt inside so much. I can't stop loving him but yet I can't just keep getting hurt by him. It has become a game and the truth is hidden so I have to go find it. Love is not a game of hide and seek and definitely should not be a joke. I am hurt and I need to open my eyes to see if things are going to change or if I am just going to keep getting my heart broken. I wanted to spread my wings. It was like he has taught me to fly but every time I get shot at I begin to fall. It makes it harder each time for these wounded wings to heal. I really don't know if my heart can take much more. If I give up will I be able to move on or will die alone with a broken heart and all the scars from the pain I had to suffer. I just want him to see how he makes me feel and what he really puts me through. Yet I could never or would never want to do that to him because I know how much pain I went through during these times. I'm lost and really need some guidance I just wish that I knew what to do and how to get over this pain... | | |
| How can this go on...Have you ever had the problem that you couldn't let go. You know what's going on and they don't want you to know. Could you pretend to be blind and act so naive. It's funny how things turn out, the secret games people try to play. The feeling of being hurt and falling apart. Having that gut feeling and fearing that this feeling will turn out to be right it hurts to know that something is there. Something is waiting out in the open. Please don't take that chance and let everything fall. It's a scary feeling but let's hope it just a thought and nothing more. | | |
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