ahhh and here i am.

settled in my apartment and in school.

my crush still stands...went through a weak week..but it's really only weak when im not around him haha. and i dont think it's a big deal. but then i hang out with him again and i just...bah. lose it all over again lol.

everyone keeps telling me how flirtatious he is...but idk. hes seriously such a GOOD GUY. and he's so sweet to me.

anyway...i got my lip pierced tonight! and im so proud of myself cuz i went alone haha. i got my eyebrow redone as well.

i feel SO MUCH BETTER. i've been waiting for this for a long time. daddy probably wont be happy haha but he'll get over it, and thats all that matters.

ah well i want a cigarette. i need to do laundry. and just...clean.
blegh. wheres my mommy when i need her eh? haha

btw...my main love has cancer [again] and im terrified. trying really hard to be strong for her. i miss her so much my heart beats differently when i think about her. ahhh...thanksgiving couldnt come quick enough.

california

i moved to caliiiii a little over a month ago :]]

im LOVING it out here. but it's super sad w/o my family and friends. i miss them more than anyone understands.

but i get to go home on friday and im SO EXCITED. so many plans with so many people.

and when i get back to cali i get to move into my apt in riverside and start school!! im so excited lol

ahhh my life is good.

i have a crush. im motivated. im in school. i get to go home to visit.

everything is just....good :]]

oh hey and my birthday is coming up! haha

GOOD DAYS

thought i'd update. no one [and i mean NO ONE] reads this but i like having it to look back on.

and thats what i'll do :]]

so i went to seymour yesterday to go see mal play.

i got to see litay&chavie.

and my old best friend.
it was amazing.

i hope i get to spend more time with those people.

especially chelsea. being around her made me remember some really good times.

i got to see josh too :] he's so cute.

tomorrow i have phys. ther. and i get to go see michael :] i'm so happy to see him.

gah. i get all giddy everytime i think about it. blah. i hate it lol.

happy belated new years.

2007 isn't starting out so well...but i still have high hopes for my graduation year. even though im not in high school anymore....this is still the year i've been looking forward to for YEARS.

better be a good one.

semi worked things out.
he's too busy for me.
and that's okay.

i think.

he's my monster :]
big&&hilarious.
being drug along in the fucking dirt by a girl i love.

girls are bitches.

i like him.
but i love him.
every night when i lay down, he's all i think about.

i miss him almost more than i can handle.

boo-rah.

later, bitches. 

Merry Merry Christmas to the people that never read this :]

i'm tired.
downloading songs to my ipod :]
getting ready to eat some food, and then go to sissys.

this christmas is a good one.
very different...considering all my sisters are grown and have familys of their own.
but it's still christmas...and i'm still happy.
beth is in oklahoma and i can't wait until she gets home.

i made a complete ass of myself a couple of nights ago...
and now i dont even want to call him and tell him merry christmas.
i am a tard. and thats the way it is lol.

he'll forgive me....i hope.
i miss him. definitely more than i thought i did.

blah.

hope you all got what you wanted.