I've been home from camp for about two and a half weeks. Upon returning I was asked a number of questions. "How was it?" "What was your favorite part?" "What did God teach you?

Camp was wonderful. The kids were amazing. I made friendships that will last a lifetime. I built on friendships that I already had. I conquered fears. I learned things about myself. I was out in the beautiful sunshine everyday. It was fantastic.

We had our first small group of the semester on Thursday. It was great being with the girls again, and it was kind of an intense night. As Rachel talked about humility, and told us a couple stories from the camp she was at this summer, I realized that I can't pinpoint a "presence of God" moment. I'm definitely not saying that they didn't happen. The Lord was most definitely at Carolina Creek, and I felt His presence often. But I don't have a number one specific God moment that summed up and made my whole summer.

And I'm okay with that. As I sat at small group, I thought about my summer. I remembered how I wanted to go to camp and grow so strong in my relationship with God. I thought to myself that I would go there, and have so many experiences that I would come back so completely spiritually mature, sharing the Gospel in a way I never have before.

But that is not what God had in store for me. Oh no. God said to me, "Stephanie, you're a little confused, huh? Now listen here, quit jumpin' the gun and slow down girl. I want to start from the beginning with you." I mean, wow. Um, hello God... I'm twenty two years old. I've been going to church my whole life. I think I know how to be a Christian. To which God replies "Oh sweetheart. You have so much to learn."

So I feel like the Lord is wiping my slate clean. He's starting me over, and letting me get to know Him again. He's reteaching me things like how to surrender to Him and how to love people. I mean really love people. People who are hard to love. I can tell that He is not going to be subtle about it right now. He is literally sending people to my front door in the middle of the night to teach me things about myself and about Him. It's beautiful.

And when it comes to camp. Well, this summer, I went to Carolina Creek. And my best friend went with me. He was with me at every activity, with every child, in every interaction I had there. I got to know Him so much better, I got to know myself better, and He and I grew in our relationship. In a childlike way. He showed me things this summer at the same level I think my kids saw them. And that's what I need. Whether or not I thought I needed to grow into a spiritual super leader, God knew that I needed to see it all from a child's perspective again. He always knows what's best.

And that's why I love Him.

It's Friday, June 13th at about 1:40 in the morning and I'm sitting at a computer in Pennsylvania typing away [and chatting on Facebook]. Hopefully this post will make some sense. I'm a little distracted, and more than a little tired. I was thinking, though about how I have such a busy summer ahead of me, and although it sounds ridiculous, I'm dreading the end.

My summer already began May 30th with staff week at camp. If you were unaware, I'm working at Carolina Creek Christian Camp in Huntsville this summer. I was there through June 8th, and had a total blast. I'm really looking forward to working there, and I'll be gone from July 5th to August 21st [except for the scheduled off days we get in between camps]. Upon returning from that first long, but exciting week, I enjoyed a couple relaxing days in my apartment with the army of girls living there, and on Thursday morning flew out to Pennsylvannia with my mom for my cousin's wedding. I'm here until Sunday, and then home to Houston for a little before heading back to Huntsville. When I get back from camp in August, school will be starting and two of my good friends will be moving away. Naturally, I'm not looking forward to losing them. At all.

This Wednesday, I helped my friend James celebrate his birthday. He wasn't too psyched about turning twenty-three and it kind of made me think about my own life.

This Monday I will turn twenty-two years old. By this age, there were things I had thought I would have accomplished including graduating from college, looking for or having found a teaching job, and being married or close to it. I'm not close to any of these goals. The strange thing is, ultimately I'm happy.

Sometimes I find myself getting discouraged. Will I ever finish school? How can I possibly be a teacher if I can't even take the classes? I find myself daydreaming about being a wife and a mother. But then I stop and remind myself that worrying and daydreaming gets me nowhere. The Lord put these desires in my heart, and if I have faith and persevere through the troubles I will be successful.

I am almost twenty two years old. I have a fantastic job at a summer camp. I have an awesome apartment with beautiful roomates. I am surrounded by friends and family who love me. Most importantly, I have an amazing God who loves me and believes in me more than anyone else ever could. This post completely changed directions while I was typing it, and as crazy as I possibly sound, I know one thing is true:

I am blessed.

So for Christmas I got a "big girl" purse and "big girl" shoes. Just in case you're confused, here is a picture:

And it got me to thinking. So, I thought I would share with everyone that once again this semester I am not taking any classes. I just need another semester off I suppose. The only difference this time, is that I'm still living in my apartment in Huntsville with Sam, Jackie and Becky. Which is wonderful. And I'm still going to be involved in Chi Alpha. Which is also wonderful. And I'm working full-time at a child care center here. Which is incredible. I'm so excited. I actually just got the call today that I was hired. I start tomorrow and I believe they're putting me in the infant room to begin. They hope to open another toddler room though, and they want me working in there but I'm not sure when that'll happen. So yeah. This semester I'm a big girl. I'm living in my big girl apartment with my big girl job and my big girl purse. Maybe there will be some occasion when we can all dress up and go out and I can wear my big girl shoes. hah.

Life is good and I am happy. I'm so glad to be back in Huntsville. Good luck this semester everyone.

*much love*