What did Santa say when he saw Paris Hilton, Jennifer Lopez, and Britney Spears?

Ho ho ho!

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+++Year in Review+++

Well folks, the year is winding down, and Christmas is upon  us.  I remember saying I'd give a review of the year 2004, and I think I'll go ahead and just talk about some of the more memorable moments.

Perhaps the single most memorable moment of 2004 was the Super Bowl Party I threw in February.  It was amazing!  Everyone had a good time, there was good food, and it was a damn good Super Bowl, too.  But the biggest moment, without a doubt, didn't even happen in the game.  It happened at HALFTIME. 

What the hell was Janet thinking??!

I remember sitting there watching Justin and Janet dancing and grinding on each other and I thought, "They're gonna do something nasty."  But never did I think Justin was going to expose Janet's boob!  And the face Justin made before doing it, it looked like he was thinking, "Oh yeah, I'ma pull out dat breast, baby."

We all sat there wide eyed, and with our jaws hanging.  The funny thing is, after the incident, everyone just kinda sat there and looked at each other.  It was like we all needed to know that other people saw what we saw so that we didn't think we were going crazy.  After about 2 minutes of silence, everyone started saying, "Yo you see that shit?!" like we weren't all in the same damn room watching it!

I wonder how they decided to do this act?  How did MTV (the guys who were running this halftime show) decide to go through with this?

MTV Executive: Ok Justin, Janet, we need to have a good show for halftime.  Any suggestions?

Justin: How about I pull out her boob with millions of people watching?

MTV Executive: Perfect!

Oh well.  That day was definitely the most memorable for me.   There were others, and I'll throw 'em on here in the upcoming days.  Until then, I'm out like Janet Jackson's boob at halftime!

Well well well look who's back in the hizzle fo shizzle my nizzles and wizzles and italizzles and asianizzles and indizzles and et cetera-izzles... Mike Feedback is sorry to the loyal followers for such a long delay, but finals and papers had to be done. Now it's time for some more social commentary. And what better way to resume things than to talk about:

 ======The Age Old Question: Do girls pass gas?!?!?======

All of the girls reading, don't even act like you're grossed out, because you KNOW YOU DO! You all do! Yea that's right, I'm on to your scheme. Fellas, half of the time you were sitting in class and you smelled something funky - yup, it was that "hot" girl next to you. But you're so infatuated with the girl that you think, "Oh it couldn't possibly be her" so you blame it on the football player sitting on the other side of you.

You see, I have it all figured out. Girls can't possibly fart out loud, because that would be against the "Girl code." I don't know who made up this code, but it gotta suck for the girls. Anyway, since girls can't fart out loud, they have to hold them in while in public. Guys do this too, like in class or whatever, but eventually, a guy can let one ROAR and just laugh about it. There's nothing in the "Guy Code" that says we can't fart in public. I think somewhere in there it says we should try not to, and we really do, but DAMN it's hard to keep it in.

Anyway, girls can't fart out loud, so I am guessing that they do the following methods:

#1. Hold it in:

They'll just hold it in until the period of gas goes away. No farts. No mess. However, I don't know how the hell girls do it; if I hold in one fart too many I feel like I'm going to explode

#2. Hold it in until privacy:

They wait until they get back to their house or something and then RIP SHIT UP with the gas they were holding in. I see this as a strong possibility, with the girls doing the evil "mwuhaha" laugh after each fart (proclaiming, "No one can stop me now! *FART* Mwuhaha!")

#3. Walk Away From Group:

You ever been in a group talking or something and a girl in the group said they had to do something real quick like get their purse or somethin? I think they're really just getting away from the group so they can RIP SHIT UP!

#4. Squeak out a silent one:

Girls are such slick creatures that they'll fart silently and just sit there like absolutely nothing happened (while guys gotta get up, lift their leg, squeeze their eyes, clench their fists...all types of stuff that condemns us). So they somehow manage to squeak out a silent one - because they just couldn't hold it in anymore - and then they just continue doing whatever they were doing. Meanwhile, you got the guys in the classroom or whatever bout to beat each other up for farting

Joe: Hey man, you STINK! I'ma whip your ass!

Tommy: I swear! It wasn't me this time! It was REBECCA!

*Group looks at Rebecca, who is calmly doing her Math Homework*

Joe: How dare you blame it on a sweet innocent lady!

*Joe and his boyz proceed to beat Tommy up*

The very last option for girls, and this is only done in life or death situations, is to let the thing out loudly in front of everyone. The girl always quickly follows with a huge laugh that everyone soon joins in. Guys, we shouldn't be laughing with them...when girls fart, let's beat their asses like Joe did to Tommy!

*Sike girls, you know I'm just playing. Keep farting and I'll make sure to blame it on the football player next to me, all for you  *

***Thanksgiving***

Ah, it's that time of year again.  The time to go home and enjoy food, football, and family.  Thanksgiving break is one of my favorite times of year, but it's also usually the first time I go back home to Philly once school starts.  And do you notice that everytime you go back home, your room becomes more and more of a storage space for the house?  Freshman year when I went home, my room pretty much become my sister's second closet (and she has a TON of clothes).  Sophomore year I went home, and my room became my sister's OFFICE.  What will it be this year?  Will it even be there?!  I'm almost expecting a "No Trespassing" sign to be on my door when I get home.  Who knows.

Either way, Mike Feedback (yes...me) wanted to keep this short and wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving break.  For the girls: NO you're not fat, so go 'head and eat as much as you want.  Well...not AS much as you want.  For the guys: this is probably the one time of year you can fart and belch around unknown family members and get away with it.  Just remember to follow up with the "But it's Thanksgiving!" laugh.  Everyone will understand and laugh with you.

I'll be back after break with more observational humor, including remarks on some of the highlights of this crazy year known as 2004.  Holla back.

= Don't you hate those people who say, "My Good friend" with like every sentence they say?  I 've had   people say that to me that I didn't even know!  How can I be your "good friend" if we don't know each other?  And they'll say it after everything, and to everyone

Robber 1: I'm going to take your money and shoot you

Abdul: Very well my good friend

Huh?=

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***Compliments***

I figured out why the world is such an angry place.  It's because no one can take compliments or give out compliments properly anymore.  Compliments are so good for the soul, and we've just all lost the ability to compliment well.

Boys just can't compliment girls, because girls always think that the boy is just trying to get with them:

Alvin (who is gay but no one knows): Oh man, I LOVE your dress

Sharice: Thank you

Sharice (5 minutes later to her girlfriend): This boy complimented my dress but I think he's just trying to get in my pants

You see what I'm talking about here?  Why can't girls just accept a compliment as a compliment?  Oh, maybe it's because guys try to compliment too much to get some:

Maurice walks up to Sherry.  He practically has a boner as he prepares to talk to her:

Maurice: Oh Sherry gurl, you lookin' like a FOX tonight!

So this above situation happens too much, and it gets to the point where girls are paranoid as hell about ANY compliment they get from a boy.  On the flip side, girls seem to feel the need to trash the hell outta guys all the time.  You all must think that because we're supposed to be "macho" that you all can relieve your anger on us and we'll be ok with it.  Sheesh, we got feelings too!

Pete: Hey what's up, Melissa?

Melissa: Nothing much.  Man, you're nothing but a big sack of shit

Peter: Oh uh, geez...thanks...

Poor Peter.  Then when there's same sex compliments, things always seem to get percieved wrong.  Like when a guy compliments a guy:

Jerry: Man, that shirt looks good on you

Bob: What are you, gay?!

Or when a girl compliments a girl:

Chrissy: Oh I like your shoes!

Reba: Thank you!

Reba (5 minutes later to her girl friends): That bitch Chrissy acted like she liked my shoes...her ugly ass

If we all just learn to take compliments well, and to give compliments correctly and at the correct time, the world would be a better place.  So what does that mean?  That means wait until AFTER the boner goes away to give that compliment!

The Bathroom

A phenomenon I never could understand is the huge difference between going to the bathroom for guys and girls.  I'll tell you firsthand, that in the guy bathroom, it's as SILENT as can be.  It is NOT a social place at all...you hear every trickle of urine, and you hear every "plop" of ... well, you know.  And whenever a guy goes in the bathroom, you best believe they're using the hell out of that thing, especially at a party when we've been drinking a bit too much and it's gotten to our bladder.  And at these parties, if the bathroom is small, dudes will only go one at a time, handle their business, and roll out.

But girls, on the other hand...

This one time I was at a party and I went in this pretty small bathroom that had ONE stall, NO mirror, and wasn't too clean.  So once I was done relieving my bladder, I walked out, and FOUR girls went in.  FOUR. GIRLS.  ONE. STALL.  You don't have to be a math major to know that that just doesn't make sense.  Then there was this other time when I had to pee DESPERATELY, and whoever was in the bathroom was taking FOREVER.  The door finally opened, and FIVE girls came out.  And there were only 2 stalls in the bathroom.  Huh?

Apparently, girls go the bathroom at parties to discuss the "cute guy" they see or something like that.  I don't give a rats ass!  If you don't got to go, get the hell out!  Go talk in the living room or something.  And I don't wanna hear, "Well, why don't you just go outside," cuz sometimes it's COLD AS HELL out there.  I can just imagine the conversation in these bathrooms:

Anne: Wow, that guy was like, sooo HOT

Jill: You should hook up with him

Anne: But I don't wanna look like a slut

Jennifer: This one guy was grabbing all on me!

Jill: You should hook up with him

Marcy: That one guy Jack dances too well.  I think he might be gay

Jill: You should hook up with him

Guy from outside the bathroom: Please hurry up!  My bladder burns!

Anne: Who that guy thinks he is?  This bathroom is OUR world!  He should just pee outside

Jill: You should hook up with him

Oh well.  Girls, you just continue to dominate the bathrooms, because it will backfire on you one day!  Well actually, no it won't, but be courteous for us guys...cause our bladders burn!