Well today was pleasant...

I stayed after school today making up time with Kruckenburg and got to watch the soccar players practice...god nothing like watching sexy mf-ers with no shirts on yum....then I went to the bowling alley to hang out with Jen B.  She went on a date today with TJ and he had to be at the bowling alley from like 6 to 8 cause he had to play league.  Time flew by when I was there...its pretty interesting hanging out with TJ, Chris, and Chad.  They're real kewl guys.  I went up there today just to make sure Jen didn't get bored while TJ had to play.  But we didn't get bored, it was amusing listening to her Gobble Gobble like a turkey.  I did the usual me thing and just sit, smile and laugh.  The bowling alley is a nice change compared to the Pool hall.  We don't know enough ppl there for there to be much drama thus far.  God I really would like to have a boyfriend, someone to hold me, someone to care.  But being single would be much more fun if I knew alot of ppl and I wasn't shy.  I could flirt and not worry bout a guy to stay faithful to, or having someone to constantly please.  But I can't just like someone and not do anything about it...well in certain cases I can but otherwise no.  Well I'mma get off here I'll ttyl luv ya later.

Currently Playing Golden Road By Keith Urban You'll think of me see related

Well I've had a shitty week except for going up to Asheville that was awesome....

Well I say there is no way in hell I'm gonna go back out with Josh he blew his chance...but as if he cares that I'm gone.  Friday night he was flirting with this whore named Katie saying to her that him and her were gonna go fuck and shit like.  I guess he didn't realize that I was standing right behind him...well after that I asked him to go talk with me...he says "i'm not in the mood to talk".  I said " but I really need to".  He said " what is there to talk about?"  I said " us" he said "what about us"  I said "is there an us" he says "yeah".  I say " then why are you asking her to go fuck?" then he start yelling saying that I'm turning into a Jennifer the 2nd and telling me not to even say a thing.  I say fine and walk off.  Then I went over to Matt to cry on his sholder.  And Jen called me last night when I was at my Daddy's and she informs me that him and Katie were all over each other....heh I find that quite amusing.  Oh well...fuck him I don't need him I don't need anyone.  But here's some lyrics I can relate to....

"You'll Think Of Me"

I woke up early this morning around 4am
With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake
Ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms
I've been tryin' my best to get along
But that's OK
There's nothing left to say, but

Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me

I went out driving trying to clear my head
I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left
I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this
And all the baggage that seems to still exist
It seems the only blessing I have left to my name
Is not knowing what we could have been
What we should have been
So

Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me

Someday I'm gonna run across your mind
Don't worry, I'll be fine
I'm gonna be alright
While you're sleeping with your pride
Wishing I could hold you tight
I'll be over you
And on with my life

So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me

So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and all your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we got nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me, yeah

And you're gonna think of me
Oh someday baby, someday

I'd tell you how my day was but I'm afraid that I will jynx myself so I wont.  luv you all, goodnight.

"It's Been A While"

And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I first saw you
And it's been awhile
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been awhile
Since I could call you

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means

And it's been awhile
Since I can say that I wasn't addicted
And it's been awhile
Since I can say I love myself as well
And it's been awhile
Since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do
And it's been awhile
But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've gone and fucked things up again

Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day!

And it's been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry
And it's been awhile
Since I've seen the way the candle lights your face
And it's been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem to be I know it's me
I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me

And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry

Ok well hm...what to write....well I'll start with my day....

Didn't get much sleep last night so I fell asleep after me alarm rang.  Got up at 7:15.  Got to school talked to Heather and Jenna, then talked to Jen and gave her, her cd.  I hope she likes the cd I made her.  Well school was same as always...started a new project in Art...pastels.  I love pastels there so messy its awesome.  Well in weight training we did max outs and I did blagh.  Then after school I went with jen, maria, and nick to go riding around.  And for future reference ppl remind me that I'll just end up getting pissed off...especially when its raining.  Well I still miss Josh and still think about him alot...not much I can do there.  Everybody keeps telling me to forget him...but its just not easy...he was really sweet and made me feel really special.  Alot of ppl are saying I'm too pretty to worry bout him...yeah it makes me feel good...but It doesn't help.  Well I guess time is my only option...welp I'm done typing I'll ttyl...luv ya.

Well today was alright...

I woke up at like 10 somthing to leave Jen b's house to go home at 11 for no reason.  Took a long 2 hr bath (yay baths are so fun!!) .  but before that I went w/ my sis to go get the pics we got developed...I took some of jen and brandon.....and josh.  I gave the one of jen and brandon to jen and I kept the rest.  They are really cute pics of Josh...I can't throw them away....God isn't it about time I got over him...I can't even hate him or be mad at him..............he was everything I wanted.  I should stop going up to the landmark to see him.....but come on...would it be normal for me to make that much sense.  But there is no point it trying to revive something thats not wanted.  I mean he doesn't want anything with me...from what he told jen he doesn't care about me anymore.  He said we could still be friends but....I don't think that would be alright with me.  I mean I don't wanna find out about his "adventures" while being single.  I do get this feeling that he does feel something...whether good or not...I mean I know he looks at me I've caught him and so has jen a couple of times.  And if I happen to look his way he gives me this deer caught in headlights look...or maybe I'm just being a girl.  Noticeing shit that really ain't happenin.  I dunno and honestly I don't care it brings my poor heart relife to think that maybe he feels wat i feel too.  Hm...well I'm done spilling my guts...can I have them back now?  No, ok well ttyl luv ya and good night.