the_bestdays's Xanga

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Sat, 24 Jun 2006 18:00:29 GMT

my brother is probably the dumbest person you will ever meet, he is an asshole of many kinds.

my sister thinks im annoying, thats funny becuase she wants to be like me, and says she loves me, but most of the time when im trying to talk to her she blows me off. like im not worthy of her talking to me. so what is she? a backstabber. i dont know anymore.

my whole family is really weird, dont ever try and get close becuase they will fake you out like no other!

i never understood why people act the way they do, they hurt you, then later expect you to drop your feelings and forget about it. worst part is this is my family...

my throat is throbbing right now becuase how messed up my family is towards me...

its funny how my brother wakes up early in the morning to take my sister to get her hair cut, pick up her friends, then later take them out, when im the one at home waiting for the longest time hoping today is the day he will order my stuff from online, he comes home and i ask him...(this doesnt even take long 1 min at the most) to punch in his credit card number...and he flakes out on me. now i just forget about it becuase ive asked him over and over for many days now...and he continiously blows me off. watever...

ive always been independant my whole life...i try not to have people help me, but sometimes i just need someone. and my family is not it. they rather have plans with there friends, why? becuase their friends mean the world to them. duh! its their number one prioridy.

i always have dreams of living on my own, apt in new york city, manhatten. anywhere...just as long as i can be farfar away from people that treat me negatively. becuase i hate to feel that way. but its hard not to pick it up, expecially when the people around you are, and treat you that way.

im turning 18 soon...and i cant wait tostart doing all that stuff like driving, and just being on my own. im out of highschool now and its been 4 days already or maybe even more...im working now..so i have my own money. its feeels gooood!! im looking forward to the next day god blesses me with my car. im going to just drive...and drive. or untill my next workday.

Friday, April 21, 2006

Fri, 21 Apr 2006 21:53:37 GMT

I cant believe how my brother would go threw to cover up something and save "themselves" from trouble, when in reality, he would never do the same for me.

worst...covering up a lie and making a real important person PAY for THEIR mistakes, plus letting that person get away with their wrong doings.

how fuckin messed up is that? Lairs...they are the worst of all the worst!

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Sat, 01 Apr 2006 17:04:15 GMT

As I look at these images, 3 years after the US invasion of Iraq, and 1 day after George Bush asked us to "forget about the bloodshed" becuase the war of choise in Iraq "is worth it," I want to scream. I want to know if he could look at these greiving mothers in their eyes, hold their hands and ask them to forget about the son they lost becuase the war he lied us into is worth it.

War or Peace? Is it really such a difficult choice?

Those who do not know history are destined to repeat it. Learn from those who have made the mistake that you are about to make, do not despise them for having gone first. Bush clearly doesnt know his History.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Sun, 26 Mar 2006 13:20:20 GMT

I need to finish some things i've been holding off. My headache is coming back, I dont want it to! I remeber always faking sick when i was younger, just to get out of school, or to get attention. ahah, im telling you I was mischievous. I joined a brat pack!

And I also remeber as a child running down hills of grasses. I love laying in the sun. On the grass. With not a care in the word. Listening to the birds. Sensing the breeze on your skin. Feeling the warmth of the rays. Its like heaven on earth. These Simple Pleasures are what makes life worth living.

My baby cousin is here right now Sean. I want to take pictures of him forever and ever because he is new and Pure. Today my brother is coming home from San Fransico. That asshead better bring me somthing back.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Sun, 19 Mar 2006 22:14:28 GMT

i am going to move. soo far away from everyone else its unbelieveable!

cut some guys hair yesterday, mohawk that shit!

went to ikea today. boring. boring. boring.

someone stick a fork in my ribs and call it a day.

goodbye.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Mon, 13 Mar 2006 18:45:09 GMT

yesterday me and my family did one of those shopping days were we hit everystore, and buy everythiing becuase it is near "april" ahah. yup...i had fun.

then later that night we went to nams house, saw all the old faces, some 1 week old faces. but still good loving faces. saw bui and his girlfriend. & i will always stick to the my point. where people change becuase they now have a gf/bf. i seen too many of those, and they are such bummers. then you realize whos' real and whos fake. yup....i can spot out alot of fakes...ahah

i finally got a good pillow to rest my head upon at nights now. feathers are so good...mhhmm...my neck didnt hurt so that meant my head didnt hurt, but i still had trouble sleeping. i woke uppp 5 times at least that night. then woke up at 6am officially.

roo.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Tue, 07 Mar 2006 21:09:27 GMT

what a feeling...in my soul.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Sun, 05 Mar 2006 04:06:56 GMT

it is silent at the moment. i wonder what is pondering downstairs. its awkwardly silent. i know i am not alone. not yet at least. although it feels like it...

behind all the fakeness you lead...you ripp a soul out of me. tugging at me like a fish on a pole. there is no release. please let me go. please let me go. just let me be. just this once. let me go. i wrote this for some1. i hope they understood it is rightfully theirs.

creativity is lashing down..leaving my side. i wont let go. i will never let go. i wont let the best part of me slip. not know not ever.

today while i was eating with my brother and his friends, i thought about all the great stuff i was missing out on...bondage. i miss that. i need that. i need it to fill me back up. i am stoning out. its the only thing right now that i need. i need it like fuel runs on a car.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Fri, 03 Mar 2006 23:16:58 GMT

this whole week felt like a complete bust!

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Wed, 01 Mar 2006 01:01:23 GMT

how come today i did everything i possible can and felt good about it. mann..this feels good. congrates to myself for holding up such a high position.

and it was raining yesterday, and today for a bit.

my sleep is getting a bit better.

the winters games are over so scrubs back on!

today was swell. okay going, not bad as before. getting better.