The Good, The Bad, and the Droidly Nar Shadda… the “smuggler’s moon” is what some call it. But it wasn’t always the ecumenopolis that we know it as. Since the Hutts built their spaceports, the growing vertical cities and with certain native life forms descended into the lower levels, it has become a safe haven for scum and villainy. Imperial Law doesn’t stretch as far as outer rim territories such as this one. And who’d want it to. It’d be too much of a hassle to keep law and order among the ship-jackers, slavers, spice dealers, pirates, hunters and other unsavory types that congregate in the vile cities. The Empire had occupied their hands with other systems. So how does someone like me end up in such a place like this? Minding my own business. 
Often I came to Nar Shadda for the fun ambiance. It was the sort of place where a good party could be thrown. And I was overdue for such an event. The cantinas had your typical bands play and the drinks were ranging from cheap to highly priced sensations of bliss. The establishments ranged in an equal variety. As much as I enjoy the highly classed ones, I felt more obliged to attend a reckless level cantina. Upon entering I was reminded of how no one really noticed you unless you wanted attention drawn to you. Try and explain that to someone who doesn’t know what that means and you’ll need several hours. I recognized a few persons within the establishment, some at the bar and others in the crowd mingling. The music was of a respectable level. Making my way to a corner booth I noticed there were surprisingly a particular number of droids present. Usually there was a no-droids allowed policy. I guess they nullified it since last I was here. I took a seat and awaited my server… probably end up being a droid-server. The music played on and I looked upon the other patrons. I gazed froze when I saw an all-too familiar face. Not really a face, I had never seen him with his helmet off. But it was a helmet that was unmistakable. Boba Fett. 
So he did get out of Sarlacc. I wonder how long it had been. One’s reputation doesn’t just come back after something like that. He was standing as usual, never the one to mingle around a crowd. He only pimps on weekends. The non-careful observer would think he also enjoyed a night of music and drinking. But I knew better. He had purpose behind his attendance here. No doubt it was relating to a bounty. I remembered the time when we combined forces before. I thought about inviting him to my table but the waiter intruded. A droid server. I hate being right, sometimes. He slid a data pad my way. It was an order menu. “I’ll pick it up when you’ve paid.” “Excuse me, I haven’t ordered yet.” “The droid across the way said you’d understand.” “What?” I looked closer at the pad. It was extensive. It had several links and archives listed. Looked as if it was the tab for an entire lifetime. “Of all the-” Droids. I scanned about and saw a droid exiting the cantina. It made a quick last glance my way and then left. Must have been that droid. No one stiffs me with the bill. NO ONE… well maybe Claire Danes, but that’s beside the point. I grasped the pad and stormed out after the droid. Entering the hallway I spotted the droid. It glanced over its shoulder and saw that I had made him. It picked up the pace. Why must they always run? I gave chase. After a few corridors I caught up to it. “Hold up, bucket head.” As I drew my blaster and aimed for the circuit conductor he would call a brain. “I think you owe me an apology and an explanation.” The droid stopped. It slowly turned around and was startled. It fidgeted for a moment, computing possibilities. I took a few steps closer ready to get some answers relating to why a droid would be buying drinks at a cantina, let alone stiffing me with it’s bill.  It must have considered me a threat because it went for its blaster. I halted the potential shootout by blasting it right in the metal noggin. A small explosion of sparks blew and the body went stiff for a moment as a final message went through its circuits. I often wondered if such behavior was programmed into it or did it develop this gesture over time. Then I wondered what the message could be. I thought a very calm release of vulgarity would be justified. But, then again, we’re talking about a droid, here. It probably had some non-creative-technical readout being that to the equivalent of nerves tightening up. The tightening of its metal joints went only for a moment as it would with a humanoid body, and then went limp. The thing about droids is when they fall down dead; they can fold up oddly well as if you could then stack them on a shelf. Such was so with this droid.
Drat. I was hoping for some answers but I guess they would never come. I holstered my blaster and was about to call it a night. Turning around, I too tensed up to find myself staring down a blaster barrel. He must have snuck up on me during my standoff with the late droid. Fett always had a way with doing that.  “Fett! You scared the be-jeepers out of me. How the hell are you?” “What did he say to you? Did he give you anything?” Seemed like reminiscing on old times was not on his mind. “Boba,” referring to his blaster, “Can you lower that please?” “What did he tell you?” “I don’t know what you are talking about, man! Please don’t tell me you’ve forgotten all that we’ve been through. Thick as thieves we were. Those blood thirsty turkeys.” Fett finally holstered his blaster. “That’s better.” He wasn’t feeling better. Then again… its difficult to know what a man is expressing when he’s covered by a helmet. “He told you nothing? He didn’t give you anything?” “Again, no,” reaching into my pocket for the data pad, “he just stiffed me for his bar tab.” I showed Fett the data pad. He seemed eager to reach for it, and would have, too. But before he could take possession, an R2 Unit from down the hall beeped and whistled. It diverted our attention down the hall to show that said R2 was blocked by another droid. An eavesdropper. 
Fett grunted. “Damn. They’re on to us.” “What do you-” before I could even finish Fett had fired a couple blaster bolts toward the droid. The R2 unit quickly spun around and sped away squealing to high heaven. The eavesdropper did the same, but in the other direction, ranting on about being disassembled or some random droid paranoia. I was left really clueless as to what the hell it all meant. “Um, Boba? You want to fill me in, here?” “Not here, these walls have ears.” Fett then began to strut his way down the hallway. Passing over the deceased droid, I gave it a swift kick to the charred cranial piece. There was too much confusion going around. I needed a drink. I found myself back in another cantina. No need to attract attention to myself by going back to the same one as before. Especially when a bar tab was stiffed upon me. Exotic dancers had taken the stage and I noticed there were more droids than the other cantina. Like some of those previous patrons, I recognized some of the droids. This was becoming rather interesting. Why were there so many droids at Nar Shadda? A droid server came up to me and inquired what sort of drink I wanted. I ordered ale and then took a seat at a nearby table. I waited for my drink and tried to act casual. Without warning or any preview, a Quarren decided to join me at my table. With a half-filled mug of strong odious alcohol, that he drunk via a straw, he began to wane about the history of his people and the Mon Cals. How his people were subject to their (Mon Cals, that is) philosophy and higher meanings of life. How his people prefer the darker sea livelihood and blah blah blah… If it hadn’t been for a few droids watching me, I might have been able to have a legitimate conversation with the guy. But one droid in particular kept his gaze fixed on me the whole time. 
The Quarren didn’t seem to notice or care. He kept on going with his rant. How he hadn’t been able to find a female Quarren and therefore change his skin pigment for his favorite mating ritual- I couldn’t take it anymore. “Look, Davy Jones. I don’t know who you are or what your problem is, but shut up and go away.” The Quarren chuckled and took a sip of his drink. “I distrust a close-mouthed man, to which I see you are not. They generally pick the wrong time to talk and say the wrong things. Talking's something you can't do judiciously, unless you keep in practice. Now, sir, we'll talk if you like. I'll tell you right out, I'm a man who likes talking to a man who likes to talk.” He must have been shit-housed drunk. He leaned in, slapping his hand on my shoulder as if we were chums. Then he spoke in a whisper and got serious. “Does Fett have the data pad?” He wasn’t drunk. Pretty good act, if you ask me. “The what?” “The pad that my droid gave you. Did you still have it?” I brushed my hand against my pocket to make sure it was still there. It was. Keeping up the act of we being buddies, I leaned in too. “What’s it to ya, pal?” “It is vital that no one gets it. Do you have any idea its worth?” “A lot?” He chuckled, “Well, sir, if I told you... If I told you half... you'd call me a liar” “And what would be so important about the pad? What’s on it?” A mug was placed on the table and the droid server extended his hand, “Your drink, sir.” I paid the droid and it went on to attend other customers. The gaze from that one droid was still on me. The Quarren raised his mug, “Here's to plain speaking and clear understanding.” Only I had no idea what he was really talking about. “You strike me sir as quite a character. Your reputation precedes you. You’re a man of stability and accountability. That is why I had my droid bring you the pad. Do you still have it?” This was making little sense. If his droid brought me the pad, then why did it read as if it was from another droid. And then, why was Fett after that droid as well? This was worse than a messed up game of Sudoku. There had to be a reason behind this madness. “What does Fett want with the pad?” The Quarren chuckled again, “You do still have the pad. Excellent, my dear friend; Excellent, quite the character indeed. Now let us talk further about the importance of holding on to it.” He flagged down the droid server to refill his drink. The sweet smell of the alcohol grew as the mug was refilled. Under different circumstances I might have had one myself. “I distrust a man who says ‘when.’ If he's got to be careful not to drink too much, it's because he's not to be trusted when he does.” I took a heavy helping of my drink to prove his point. He seemed to be pleased. “There is a significant number of droids here at Nar Shadda. One can easily presume it is just by chance. I will save you the verbal chase and tell you that they are here because of me.” “You?” “Yes, my dear friend. Me. And I shall tell you why, too.” The Quarren drank more from his straw. I wondered what the alcohol tolerance was for squid heads. Must have been really good… or he just had better control over intoxication than most humans do. “You see, the Rebel Alliance has hired me for a special research project. My journey here was to be kept secret, but somehow, the information leaked. There is a shuttle due here to take me away but it is greatly behind schedule and I fear it may have been destroyed en route. Therefore I have needed to separate myself from what is so vital.” I tapped my pocket, making contact with the data pad, “So where do all these droids and Boba Fett come into place?” “The one droid you encountered earlier is… was in fact one of mine. So was the server from the cantina. I apologize for the deception and assure you that ‘the bill’ is nothing more than a fabrication. There is no charge that you must spend. Nor do you need worry about compensation of the first droid. The other droids are merely hired to stop me from delivering my research to the Alliance. As I said, information leaked. And someone, whom I am not sure, but someone wants it badly enough to put a bounty on it.” A bounty? Curious. Some of the holes were being filled but I still suspected more. “If so many droids then why is Fett here?” He chuckled again, “To get his claim on the data pad’s worth, no doubt. Remember my dear friend; a lot of credits involved here.” “How can you trust me, then?” “You, sir, are clean of such greedy temptation. You’re a saint among the populous here at Nar Shadda. But further to the point I know you can resist Mr. Fett’s means of persuasion. See I made sure to have him here, too. It was not easy; believe me, to have a man such as Boba Fett bite the bait.” He needed us both here. Why, I wonder? Indeed there was much more going on here and the Quarren’s form of rhetoric was too thick for me to translate. I should have more conversations/practice. “So then… Fett and I… we’re what? Security?” Another chuckle, “In a manner of speaking, yes. The odds in such a ratio, only so few could take it on. You my dear friend and Mr. Fett are such characters to take on said odds and prevail.” “What’s to say that I don’t just leave with the data pad or say Fett takes it from me by force?” “I’m confident that you can hold it for me.” The breaking of glass diverted our attention to see that a droid had bumped into a patron knocking the patron’s glass to the floor. The air was getting tense as both alien and droids began to shuffle around as if ready to pick sides if a bar brawl were to start. The Quarren and I watched as it deflated and business went about as usual. He chuckled once again, “And besides… with this much heat… you don’t want to leave just yet.” He took once last sip. “Now if you’ll excuse me, my dear friend.” He rose from his chair and in the process grabbed his side. He winced for a moment then regained his composure. “Excuse me.” Referring to his side, “surgery I had recently. What do you say, my dear friend, it has to hurt if it is to heal, hmm?” I nodded, knowing the source of the quote. “So where will you be in the mean time?” “Staying alive in my room until my shuttle arrives. I trust you and Mr. Fett know how to do the same. Best of luck to you both.” He bowed and then left the cantina. A few droids followed while some remained while some never left their gaze from me. “Great,” I murmured under my breath. I took one last swig of my ale and then left as well. To my surprise no one was following me. I had no idea where the Quarren had gone. And to be honest I didn’t really care. I had a growing paranoia to stay alive if there was any truth to what he was saying. I took a walk about the levels of Nar Shadda. I could hear the brewing of storm clouds in the skies above. Rain would be a welcome. Perhaps the droids would all rust to death and an all out confrontation could be avoided. It had been a while sine I strolled in rain. Now seemed as good a time as any. Clear my mind off this droid business. Reaching the surface level the rain was steady. Walking in it brought up favorite past times from childhood; memories that were quickly halted by someone else in the rain. Boba… 
‘Oh, hell’ I thought to myself and walked over to him. “And this level is free of ears?” Fett was not in the mood, “Here’s what I know. More and more droids are arriving. The Quarren trusts you with the data pad and the droids know you have it.” “Seems like we’re the Quarren’s new bodyguards. I take it we can’t just blast out of here in Slave 1?” “Bottle neck. They’re watching my ship and yours.” “That bad, huh? Well I’ve got a few guards of my own. My ship won’t be so easy to get to.” Though it was raining the acoustics at Nar Shadda are terrible and many loud things echo; especially blaster fire. Which is just what we heard from across the surface level. I knew where exactly it was coming from. Fett let loose a chuckle, “Oh yeah?” “Damn it.” We began to hurry through the rain toward the landing bay of my ship. To my dismay all my guards were dead. Sprawled about the bay from a brawl. Quick surveillance of the area showed that the blaster fire came only from my guards. Standing alone was a droid in a cloak. I recognized him as the one who wouldn’t look away from me at the cantina. It gave me chills down my spine. 
“Surrender the disc of die.” Like hell I was. I quickly pulled my blaster out and fired. The droid, quicker than my draw, extracted a lightsaber from beneath his cloak and deflected my shot. Not bad. I looked at Fett and smiled, gesturing if he would like to dispose of this one. He seemed entertained by my offer. He unloaded a blizzard of blaster fire. All of which were deflected. Some of the shots were bounced back near us. I actually had to dodge a few. When Fett was sure this was getting us nowhere he stopped and we looked at each other. He shrugged, “Shit.” We ran away. Hauling ass down the nearest corridor we could hear the clanking footsteps of the droid pursuing us. Fett fired a few more shots back down the hall to which were reflected off the droids lightsaber. Fett was quickly frustrated. “You’re a Force sensitive geek. Can’t you just whip out your saber and kick his ass?” I didn’t have my lightsaber with me. We ran around a corner and plowed through a small squad of battle droids. I hit the ground a skidded to a stop. The data disc pad flew out of my pocket and skidded a little further than me. Fett, who managed to keep his grounds, stopped in the hallway and saw that the disc was in the open. The battle droids, some helping their comrades up, regrouped and recognized the both of us. “It’s them.” Then they also saw the data pad. “Get the pad.” 
Fett quickly silenced their efforts and blasted them one by one to the ground. I scrambled to get the pad as sparks & bits of droids flew over me. As I reached out for the pad Fett’s foot rested on top of it. I looked up. I feared he would dispatch me and take it for himself. Would he be that cold? No. He lifted his foot and allowed me to recompose myself and secure the pad. As I was about to give my thanks, the cloaked droid turned around the corner. Time to run again. The chase continued further and further down corridors. We weren’t sure where we were heading. “This is getting us no where,” Fett said. I couldn’t come up with anything clever at the moment and we just kept running. The cloaked droid was keeping pace. Seemed like a matter of time before Fett and I ran out of breath and ammo and he would have us both. We were coming up to a juncture in the corridor. It was then I had an idea. “Split up.” And so we did. Fett went one way, I went another. The Quarren, safe in his quarters, was relaxing. A smug look on his face. He knew Fett and I were taking on the eye of the storm and he was enjoying it. He laughed but then grabbed his side. A medical droid approached him, “Still hurts, I see.” “It would indeed hurt if you went through such an operation.” The medical droid scanned the Quarren for signs of infection or internal bleeding. He was fine. “Scout reports indicate a Rebel Blockade Runner on approach to Nar Shadda.” “At last, soon it will all be over.” I took the wrong turn. Since Fett and I separated I picked up a dozen battle droids on my tail. The most annoying thing about them is their high-picthed phonic voice. However I was getting ahead of them to where I knew I could out run them. I’m not sure what became of the cloaked droid. I may have lost him or maybe it decided to go after Fett. I could just hope he was doing all right. I turned around another corner and found myself a large cargo hold. A dead end. Lighting, however, was in my favor so I hid among the shadows. A few moments later the battle droids arrived. The surveyed the hold, they knew it was a dead end as well. One looked to another and spoke in that annoying tone, “Hold perimeter here. Notify the others that we need more to scan the area.” The other nodded, “Roger, roger.” I silently mimicked the response. So annoying. I knew I couldn’t stay here for long. I took a quick inventory of what I had. My blaster, a few clips of ammo, thermal detonator- what the? A thermal detonator? What the hell was that doing in my pocket? And where the hell was the data pad. Fett! He must have switched it on me somewhere between that squad of battle droids and separating. That slight-of-hand little punk. I had to get it back. But I could worry about that after getting out of the cargo hold. I could hear the march of more battle droids arriving and knew it was going to get ugly very quickly. Still amidst the shadows, I peeked at the entrance. If only I could get them all before they entered the cargo hold. Blaster fire was out of the question, it would give my position away and the droids would scatter. And throwing the thermal detonator was no option. I was never any good at baseball. With my luck I would hit the wall ten feet away from the entrance. How the hell was I going to deal with it? A thud, on the heel of my boot. A continuous thudding. I looked down to see, a mouse droid. Perfect. 
As the marching of reinforcement droids got nearer I let loose the mouse droid. It whirled around and whined zigging and zagging. The battle droids drew their blasters at the mouse droid that was heading right towards them. At first the droids thought nothing of it, just another mouse droid startled by numerous other droids. But closer speculation would have shown them that the mouse droid was seeking their help to un-strap the thermal detonator I attached with my bootlace. The timing was perfect. The detonator went off and droid parts flew everywhere. “Sorry little mouse droid. Buy you had it coming.” I picked off the last couple survivors with my blaster and gathered what ammo and weapons I could salvage. I had to give myself a pat on the back. Though that would come later. The data pad. I had to get it back from Fett. I hurried out of the cargo hold to see the cloaked droid at the end of the droid rubble.  This guys never gives up!
It was a stare down for the moment, each of us sizing the other up. I knew I couldn’t beat him with a blaster. He just use his lightsabers. Maybe if I packed mine, I had a chance. But it was on my ship. Then I thought… why not give it a try. “How about a fair fight?” The cloaked droid thought about it for a moment. “Why the hell not?” It reached into cloak and tossed me a spare saber. As I turned it on, I felt a surge of power running through me. The Force is strong in me. 
“Up chuck the boogie.” Our duel began. Fett had his own set of fun. On his side of things, he bumped into an old acquaintance of his. 4-Lom. They had hated each other ever since they both hired to go after Solo. Fett may have had the first shot but 4-Lom was quick on the draw, too. A shootout between bounty hunters ensued. 
The Quarren’s medical droid approached its master. “The Blockade Runner will arrive within a few hours, sir” The Quarren smiled, whilst rubbing the side where surgery had taken place. The cloaked droid and I had been at our duel for the better part of an hour. It seemed as though none of us could get a scratch on the other and we didn’t show sign of tiring either. We fought through hallways, through open areas and then back again. Eat your heart out Episode 1 duel. Episode 3… you’re still cool. Our duel led us back into the open ground levels. The rain had stopped and the cloaked droid was getting very angry. His eyes were full of hatred. I decided to toy with him, “Much anger, I sense in you.” He took a mighty swing that I ducked and rolled to his left. I tried to give the finishing blow but sure enough he was back in the game. He pressed on and I knew I would hit the wall soon. “You’re pissing you ugly son of a,” another mighty swing, “bitch!” 
We locked sabers and the screeching sound of energy rubbing against energy was beginning to irritate my ears. I gathered the power of the Force and jumped my way to safety, to only have the droid charge at me again, this time with uncontrolled fury. So hard was he swinging it was hard to hold onto my saber. It was wearing me down. Eventually after a few more deflected blows, he knocked the saber out of my hand and I fell to the ground. I felt exhausted and had that sinking feeling that this was it. The cloaked droid hovered over me with his saber point at my face. He chuckled and his eyes seemed like a lions. “You are doomed.” He raised his lightsaber and prepared for the final strike. In doing so he revealed his droid like structure underneath his cloak. Remarkable. He was more like a cyborg than a droid. I could see organic components working within cracks of his droid exoskeleton. I also saw a power capsule. THERE! I gathered whatever Force I had left and reached out for the capsule. It fidgeted and eventually broke free and was in my hand. The droid froze for a moment and eventually the gravity of its mass caused it to fall backward. His saber turned off and rattled on the floor while his cloak muffled his fall. I stood up victorious and examined the power capsule. Supervolt. They never learn. I heard more blaster fire from across the way and headed for it. It could only be Fett. Entering a new set of corridors, I saw Fett he was at the end of a long hallway. He had just turned around the corner when a door opened halfway down. Two Jedi popped out and then immediately began to repel heavy blaster fire. Detroyer Droids! I recognized the Jedi and wondered where the hell were they an hour ago. I began to wave my hands at the Jedi, “Hey I need your help! Fett is getting away!” One jedi was able to sapre a moment from all the blaster fire and look my way, “I’m a little busy at the moment.” 
| 
