the_kerensa's Xanga

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 11:53:44 GMT

does anyone still read this? i forgot i even had it!

i really want to catch up with you guys... here's my effort, im off to read the xanga's of your lives right now....

DROP ME A LINE!

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Wed, 09 Feb 2005 00:27:26 GMT

holy moly! it's been a very long time, and to all my camp friends, how disappointed you must be!!!!! im so very sorry. my bro (the mexican) scolded me enough and it was never that i forgot you all. no really. it was like amnesia. and i've jsut recovered.

anyhooter, i have a busy semester ahead and it looks like i'll be in england and then summer school with the bad kids this summer in Bowling Green (aka not HHC). sad news. but i promised every one i've talked to i will visit, so i might as well promise it to everyone reading too! my hand-twin, where have you been? no IMs or anything. okay I am a hypocrite. but i will let you know that i have been using my Challenge Skillz at BGSU. details to come...

miss you all. im going to spend some time reading your posts and then get some sleep... drop me a line so i don't catch that amnesia thing again!

Sunday, October 24, 2004

Sun, 24 Oct 2004 15:39:25 GMT

"The Alligator is my friend, he can be your friend too..."

that song has bee in my head off and on for about 3 days. Maybe 4 if you count my teaching it to my roommate.

When will it end??????????????????!

ps-i accidently made that silly face very wide. niiiiiiice...

Friday, October 08, 2004

Fri, 08 Oct 2004 11:09:06 GMT

holy moly has it been a while. i guess that means i am busy. well, most significantly, i have been saved, HA. not exactly; i have just decided my spiritual journey was at a stand still and i needed to ask those questions, and take initiative to make things better in my life. this was the first really BIG step, and i am so grateful i have been ENLIGHTENED (not saved, what on earth does that really mean?!). i was able to meet with my friend meghan, who is very christian, and also with my cynical best friend chels, and we just discussed the hot topics of spirituality. what a mix we are; like every stage of spirituality. and everyone has questions but my religious background is a little more extreme than others'. i was a jehovah's witness until i was 11 and i was not allowed to have friends outside the congregation before my family left. thus, i had no friends that didn't SHUN me while i was 11. as if puberty isn't enough, right?! haha, so i have had a bitter taste of religion ever since. i think it's legit too, since we were looked down upon for helping a struggling family in the congregation that could be categorized as "bad association." riiiiiiiight.... i am just now coming around to seeing, it is okay to be spiritual without a religion attached. God has spoken to me in a lot of ways, since i decided to speak to him again...

in other news, i am during so-so in classes, i dropped NEUROPHYSIOLOGY and i am 99% happier. i also have fixed things with the boyfriend i think, so no more posts about him, i promise :) sorry that last one was a little heated! and i get to go to a cabin at Mohican State Park with my family for fall break! yippeeeeee i can't wait to get some R & R. my mind needs a break big time... okay, i wish i had more to say but right now things are kind of status quo and things are just THERE. ya know? im exhausted and drained and i need a vaca, so let's hope i post right after my rejuvination period (aka fall break).

miss yous...

Sunday, September 19, 2004

Sun, 19 Sep 2004 18:58:09 GMT

okay.... it's been an exciting life out here in BG. First, we had a shooting! ahhhhh! Kinda scary, it was in the parking lot of a gas station in our generously named "dowtown" area. It was a local man, not a student at BGSU, but about our age nonetheless... definitely big news for a little place like us hilljacks.

BGSU News: we had Panhellenic Recruitment and it went well; it took up both of my weekends and I still think it was worth it. We met our "quota" which basically means we kicked ass in impressing these girls enough to have them "rank" us well. It's complicated trying to explain it, but like any goal, there was a lot of time and effort and it went to a great result, so Alpha Phi is a happy place right now! woowoo!

Other news: one of our freshman football players died! Heart problems his coach apparently told him to "suck up." I really hope the latter info is just a rumor, but who knows anymore...

personal news: I think I failed my first exam since freshman year. It is neurophysiology; mind you, half of them are grad student, the other half are neuroscience majors, which leaves me and one other girl who have no background in this field really; or in physics, which is apparently a huge part of it. When I explain it like that, it doesn't sound so bad. If I said I did my best studying, it'd be a lie. But I did lose motivation when I came to the realization my clueless level had reached an all-time high in this class. Anyway, I think I'm dropping it and jsut coasting through with 14 instead of 17 credit hours. That's a first, actually! I wonder what happen!!!!! (im kidding, im weird, and im kidding).

WARNING: this next section is personal, it might be mooshy and it may even talk about boys! If you don't want ot read it, close your browser window NOW

THE PREFACE; for those who don't know, here's my guy situation. I dated Mike for 2.5 years in high school, since then I've had a few quick boyfriends, and now Jason, who I have been with off and on, but in the past 10 months, very seriously, for 2 years! He goes to Toledo, and we have had rough times, as any couple does, but we've pretty much decided we want to be together forever. I can see it as a real possiblility, and he does, too, so I think that means we're good to go?!

Anyway, we got into a little fight last week; I don't feel he's in love with me like he once was, he jsut doesn't appreciate me anymore, etc. It took a lot for me to admit this, and he seemed to really want to change, and jsut act like he loves me more. At least to demonstrate he DOES love me once in a while (like I hate the "okay, i gotta go, love you, bye" phone conversations). Anyway, I thuoght things would really take a turn for the better with the end of that convo.

Thursday I wake up with a sore throat. Friday, I wake up and I cannot breathe, swallow, or keep food down. So I call Jason that night and ask him to come keep me company, but he's already been drinking so of course, i say stay put, we'll talk tomorrow. Saturday, I wake up still sick, and we have to go on this double date in Toledo we've been promising forever. Afterwards, I tell him I feel sick, and could we go back to BG so I can sleep in my own bed and he can take care of me (everyone wants to feel taken care of when you're sick!). But he seriously told me he wants to stay in Toledo to go to this great party and that I should drive back to BG. I cannot explain how much this hurt. Plus he's promised to call me when he gets back int he wee hours of the morning, but he hasn't both nights, which I can forgive easier. So, today, even thuogh I said I wouldn't, I brought it up and said I wish he was more respectful, etc. I don't knwo if I am out of line, but I really, truly feel like this is the tip of the iceburg in the troubles to come. I am just not feeling the love!!!! haha. Okay that's the story; tell me if I am being stupid, please.

Thats all. I'll write again with time. byebye friends

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Tue, 14 Sep 2004 18:28:19 GMT

so im in this leadership in residence somethin or other class, which is basically mandatory if you're on the greek leadership team (which i am! yay) and we did this really interesting activity today. we were to write a pretend letter to our pretend staff at our pretend job (good thing i play pretend a lot, phew!) about what they are expected to be while i go on this pretend 6 month vacation. at first it was so hard, but i ended up getting really into it... i now bestow this letter upon you, fellow readers...

"take these values and alter them to fit you, alter them to fit each situation, so that you may make the best of each day and make the best you: use critical thinking skills at all times. do not get stuck in the mundane habits of each day. whether that be rearranging your office or rearranging your own values, do not let your duties become a burden; they are a pleasure. provide service to others--whenever you think you should, you should. if you hesitate, it will become more impossible. don't believe in "impossible" for it is has no real definition. don't beleive others because you want to or you feel obligated to. believe only what your mind and heart agree upon. find that equillibrium of passion and work ethic. always make your priorities before you procrastinate them into to-do lists. change is a rare tangible thing that can become tangible; do not fear it, embrace it. embrace life and its ups and downs because this rollercoaster sometimes takes turns just to make your hair blow in the wind."

does anyone remember that "always wear sunscreen" thing from the late 90's?! well, it reminds me of that a little.... weird

Monday, September 13, 2004

Mon, 13 Sep 2004 20:42:10 GMT

i think im excited... i have a xanga site, too... i miss my hand twin... and my camp friends! and honestly, i read everyone's anyways, so maybe you'd want to know im alive and well, too. maybe not. you dont have to read...

anyway, just thought i'd say i miss camp; what an experience! i know im a rookie compared to most of you, so i wont pretend to know what it's all about, but yea, good times. i love looking at the pictures from the cd; memories like whoa. whoa, i just said like whoa. annnnnnnd mom is doing a lot better! well, she was, but today i talked to her and she was feeling ill. oh yea, im not in cleveland anymore! im in the land of the fighting falcons; BGSU! it's a good time; first apartment and all can be pretty monumental, but im just too busy to live it up out here. i try; just seems i have to schedule that in sometimes, and writing in my planner, "have fun" is just wrong. ha.

well, i will update as much as i read y'alls (in BG, we say y'all, though i wish i hadnt picked that up....) sounds like everyone is getting through life just fine! truly, friends; i miss you!