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| It would seem that I am gradually phasing out my claim on this corner of the internet. Its readership is not particularly extensive, so this shouldn’t adversely affect anybody at all, really. I still check back two or three times a week to read subscriptions, though, because the things you have to say remain interesting to me. So without further ado...
End of the Year Survey
1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before? I committed lots and lots of hate crime.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I have stated here and elsewhere my disdain for the concept of the New Year’s resolution.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No.
4. Did anyone close to you die? No.
5. What countries did you visit? I...hmm. I didn’t leave the country. I’m so boring.
6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007? The ability to be close with people.
7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? March 4th. For one glorious evening, and then a month after that, it all came true. It’s the only colossal mistake I have ever made that I would never take back.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Being reasonably successful at Notre Dame my first semester. It’s just about all the validation I’ll need for awhile. Either that, or finally memorizing all the songs from Schoolhouse Rock.
9. What was your biggest failure? A rather irritating misanthropy, which has finally developed in earnest after years of joking about it.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Nope. A blessing.
11. What was the best thing you bought? An education? Or rather, one-eighth of an education.
12. What inappropriate metaphor would you use to describe 2007? It was akin to a ripened morsel of an exotic variety of cheese. And the Holocaust.
14. Where did most of your money go? College, silly.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Turning in the term paper for my music seminar. Every single time I watched Ratatouille or Once. Opening nights. An impromptu Thanksgiving dinner with some perfectly wonderful people on a Tuesday evening. Finally stepping tentatively into the world of adulthood.
16. What song will always remind you of 2007? Grace Kelly, by MIKA. “I could be brown, I could be blue, I could be violet sky...”
Compared to this time last year, are you:
17. Thinner or fatter? I don’t know. Definitely no freshman fifteen, though.
18. Richer or poorer? Much poorer, but I don’t really like money anyway. Screw capitalism.
19. What do you wish you'd done more of? Deciding.
20. What do you wish you'd done less of? Prufrocking.
21. How will you be spending Christmas? I spent it in beautiful Las Cruces, New Mexico, home of absolutely nothing noteworthy or interesting.
22. Did you fall in love in 2007? Ma’am, yes ma’am.
24. What was your favorite TV program? Pushing Daisies.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? I’ve got so much hate to give. I just don’t know where to put it.
26. What was the best book you read? This has been a fairly illiterate year for me, I’m sad to say. Probably A Man Without a Country.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? That’s really tough. Stephen Sondheim. And The Beta Band. And Sufjan Stevens. And Flight of the Conchords. And all things Jon Brion. And Porgy and Bess. See? It’s really tough.
28. What did you want and get? Freedom. Moments of fleeting happiness.
29. What did you want and not get? Ah, but you can’t always get what you want. There are many other, much more important things to worry about.
30. What was your favorite film of this year? Sweeney Todd, I think. But time will tell.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? It was the first birthday in a long time that was actually a really good day, thanks to my lovely Bulgarians and others. I turned 19.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Really believing in something.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007? I own four pairs of pants and about a billion T-shirts. The possibilities are limitless.
34. What kept you sane? Midnight rambling.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Eh.
36. What political issue stirred you the most? The pervasive stupidity and hypocrisy of political discourse today. So I was stirred by all of it, or none of it, depending on your point of view.
37. Who did you miss? About five people in Los Alamos. A few others.
38. Who was the best new person you met? The McWangiaports.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007: I’m drawing a blank. Which means that either I have achieved perfection as a human being, or I am sensationally stupid. I’d go with the latter.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
“Can we take the next hour and talk about me?”
Happy New Year. And stuff.
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| Good Lord, I haven't posted here in more than three months. Have I outgrown it? Nah.
I can't think of anything to say, so I'll just post an overlong, pointless survey, filled with silly minutiae in which nobody could possibly be interested. Look at me. Pay attention to me. Ahem.
[Random]
Crush: Amy Adams. Seriously.
Virgin?: Blessed be God, Blessed be His holy name.
Current hair color: Blond
Natural hair color: Blond
Eye color: That all depends on you.
Height: 6'2"
Birthplace: An army hospital in Arizona
Shoe size: 12
[ Favorites ]
Number: One, the loneliest number that you'll ever do...
Color: Deep, deep red.
Day: Yesterday.
Month: March.
Song: White Flag, by Dido.
Movie: Right now, Almost Famous, Topsy-Turvy, or Once.
Band: All the ones that don't suck. I am particularly taken with The Beta Band at present.
Season: Any season that can produce a perfect day.
Sport: I'll avoid a labored Casanova joke and just say table tennis. Or team handball. Curling?
Class: Music Composition Seminar.
Teacher: Frandsen.
Drink: Milk. Always milk.
Veggie: All the ones that are delicious.
TV Show: It's a very, very close race between 30 Rock and Pushing Daisies.
Store: That one store that sells things.
Word: Purple.
Animal: The human animal.
Flower: Pansie.
[ This or That ]
Me/You: You.
Coke/pepsi: Coke.
Day/night: Night.
Aol/aim: Are these not the same thing?
Cd/cassette: There is something deeply satisfying in the unpolished sound of a cassette.
Dvd/vhs: If it's a good movie, I could care less.
Jeans/khakis: Jeans
Car/truck: I'm going to get a car that's at least 30 years old.
Tall/short: What is this obsession with dichotomy? Not everything is black and white, you know.
Black/white: Too much?
Lunch/dinner: Good gracious, dinner. Lunch is not fashionable anymore.
NSYNC/BSB: Those Backstreet Boys had a fair amount of talent, actually.
Britney/Christina: This is like choosing between death and hot, moist death.
Gap/Old Navy: Old Navy.
Lipstick/Lipgloss: Lip gloss is not, in fact, one word.
Silver/Gold: Silver.
Alcohol/Weed: Hmm...I would say alcohol is a much bigger problem. Regardless of stigma, weed really is fairly harmless.
[ Love and Relationships ]
Do you have a bf/gf?: I think I do.
Do you have a crush?: Yes. Amy Adams. Pay attention.
How long have you liked him/her?: The girlfriend? Since time began. I felt it in my cockles.
Why do you like this person?: She’s a fairly strange and wonderful concoction of Katharine Hepburn, Norma Desmond, and Scarlett O’Hara.
If you're single... why are you single?: I’m not. Exactly. Who knows?
How long was your longest relationship?: Six months.
How long was your shortest relationship?: Two days.
Who was your first love?: The Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.
What do you miss about them?: He was just so tasty.
[ The past ]
What is the one thing you would change about your past?: I would have been born fifty years ago or a hundred years from now.
What is the biggest mistake you've made in your life?: I forgot my mantra. D’oh.
Last thing you heard: Will You Be There, by Michael Jackson.
Last thing you saw: There is no way to answer this question completely truthfully, unless you start delving into particle physics. I will not be exploring particle physics this evening, so let’s just move right along, shall we?
Last thing you said: “Thank you for a lovely evening.” Like, 12 hours ago. It’s been a lonely day.
Who is the last person you saw?: Caroline.
Who is the last person you kissed?: What was her name?
Who is the last person you hugged?: Caroline.
Who is the last person you fought with?: Difficult to say. On Sunday, three different people decided to become with extremely upset with me at exactly the same time.
Who is the last person you were on the phone with?: My Dad. First time I’ve talked to any of my family in a month.
What is the last TV show you saw?: Dirty Dancing. It was on TV. Patrick Swayze humped a lot of things. Does that count?
What is the last song you heard?: Splintering, by Arizona, an excellent indie band inexplicably wallowing in obscurity.
[ The present ]
What are you wearing?: Your skin.
What are you doing?: Typing and grooving, typing and grooving.
Who are you talking to?: You, kind reader.
What are you listening to?: Mr. Grieves, by TV on the Radio. Who says doo-wop is dead?
Where are you?: The dorm, my penitentiary away from home.
Who are you with?: My roommate just walked in.
Are you online?: Are you?
How are you feeling?: Content.
Are you in a chatroom?: Are you?
[ Future ]
What day is it tomorrow?: Survey fatigue is starting to set in. JFK was assassinated fortysomething years ago tomorrow, I believe.
What are you going to do after this?: Go home and sleep with my wife.
Who are you going to talk to?: It’s better when we don’t talk.
How old will you be when you graduate?: Who says I’m going to graduate at all. I have heard my calling, and it is bumhood.
What do you want to be?: Wonderful.
What is one of your dreams?: To create something worthwhile.
Where will you be in 25 years?: Oh. Now I’m depressed.
[ Have you ever ]
Drank?: You would too, if your children were as ugly as mine.
Smoked?: Rarely.
Stolen?: Don Giovanni!
Done anything illegal?: Aren’t all of those things illegal, to varying degrees?
Wanted to die?: Not earnestly.
Hit someone?: That was a hell of a day.
[ Other ]
Do you write in cursive or print?: My handwriting is really pretty unique. So neither.
Are you a lefty or a righty?: Left.
What piercings do you have?: Sexy piercings.
Do you drive?: I know how.
Do you have glasses or braces?: No, sir.
Did you like this survey?: Hmm. It reminds me of the movie Gettysburg. At some point, it’s so long that it’s become an interminable slog, but you feel obligated to finish because you’ve made it so far.
[ Physical appearance ]
What do you most like about your body?: Eyes.
And least?: I don’t really have body image issues.
How many fillings do you have?: (Carl Sagan voice) Billions and billions of fillings.
Do you think you're good looking?: Who cares?
Do other people often tell you that you're good-looking?: It happens.
Do you look like any celebrities?: Macaulay Culkin.
[ Fashion ]
Do you wear a watch?: I do not.
How many coats and jackets do you own?: How many do YOU own? Pushy bastard.
Favorite pants/skirt color?: Really?
Most expensive item of clothing?: I don’t know...
Most treasured?: Shut UP.
What kind of shoes do you wear?: The kind that desperately need to be replaced.
describe your style in one word: Convenient?
The ABC's of my Life.
A- Age of your first kiss: 11.
B- Band you are listening to right now: The Stones. Help a brother groove.
C- Crush: Sully? Yeah, kinda.
D- Dad's name: Marsupial Hella Johnson.
E- Easiest person to talk to: Nobody at all, dammit dammit dammit. (Blessed be God, blessed be His holy name.)
F- Favorite ice cream: Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
G- Gummy worms or gummy bears?: Worms.
H- Hometown: Los Alamos.
I- Instruments: Piano.
J- Junior high: In the room the women come and go, talking of, like, Matt and Eileen made out in the janitor’s closet OMG.
K- Kids: Oh, domestic violence. What joyous hilarity you bring into the world.
L- Longest car ride ever: Going anywhere with my mother in the last year or so.
M- Mom's name: Carolyn.
N- Nicknames: They don’t generally stick with me, though damn if Caroline isn’t trying to call me ‘Bri’.
O- One wish: If you have to ask, you’ll never know.
P-Phobia[s]: There’s nothing worse than being ordinary.
Q- Quote: “Who was the wisest person I ever met in my entire life? It was a man, but of course it needn’t have been. It was the graphic artist Saul Steinberg, who like everybody else I know, is dead now. I could ask him anything, and six seconds would pass, and then he would give me a perfect answer, gruffly, almost a growl. He was born in Romania, in a house where, according to him, ‘the geese looked in the windows.’
“I said, ‘Saul, how should I feel about Picasso?’
“Six seconds passed, and then he said, ‘God put him on Earth to show us what it’s like to be really rich.’
“I said, ‘Saul, I am a novelist, and many of my friends are novelists and good ones, but when we talk I keep feeling we are in two very different businesses. What makes me feel that way?’
“Six seconds passed, and then he said, “It’s very simple. There are two sorts of artists, one not being in the least superior to the other. But one responds to the history of his or her art so far, and the other responds to life itself.’
“I said, ‘Saul, are you gifted?’
“Six seconds passed, and then he growled, ‘No, but what you respond to in any work of art is the artist’s struggle against his or her limitations.’”
-Kurt Vonnegut
R- Reason to smile: Exuberance. Gogol Bordello. Puppies.
S- Song you sang last: It Ain’t Necessarily So. They tell all you chillun, the devil’s a villain...
T- Time you woke up today: 9:00
U- Unknown fact about me: Ubermensch.
V- Vegetable[s] you hate: Brussel sprouts.
W- Worst habit: I think too much.
X- X-rays you've had: It’s been awhile.
Y - Years since you've been to church?: Carry on, my wayward son.
Z- Zodiac sign: Capricorn.
Thanksgiving is tomorrow. I can’t really afford to go home. The campus is practically deserted. It will be another lonely sort of day.
Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.
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| After more than a year of unqualified triumph, it shames me to report that I have lost The Game.
In fact, within the last 24 hours, I have lost The Game at least eight times.
This is the quintessential bummer.
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| I've just had an epiphany.Work sucks. | | |
| How did I live for 18 years and not know about this show?
Substance? What's that?
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