| my glorious re-entry into the world of xanga.WELL. Haven't been here in a while, other than to snoop. I think I will be using this as my wedding planning journal. If anyone out there DOESN'T know, I'm engaged. I still REALLY like to say that, ha. Recently, however, telling people I'm engaged has become a double egded sword. Soon following I usually get an uneasy feeling in my stomach. This feeling is in no way tied to my own confidence in myself, Austin, or our relationship. Rather it is due to two main things. Thing one being: by me being engaged, it implies that there will be a wedding. Not only a wedding, but a wedding that I have to plan. Pardon my french but...shit. I am NOT a planner. And since I'm a college student I cannot afford to hire a wedding planner. I have looked into one really serious option for ceremony/reception that I LOVE. The smyrna community center has a beautiful outdoor gazeebo with bench seating that overlooks a lake and is well shaded for the ceremony,and there is also a very nice facility for the reception. The downside is that the ceremony at the gazeebo can only have 125 people at it. Although that sounds like a lot, it really isn't. I would have to make the ceremony family only. However, the reception hall holds about 225 people ( which is more people than me and Austin have put on the guest list). I have some friends that I would REALLY like to see at my wedding, and they would REALLY like to be at my wedding, so making the ceremony family only makes me kind of sad. One of my friends from middle school just got married and her ceremony was the same set up (gazeebo overlooking lake with bench seating) and it was at this Girl Scout camp that she works at. I have contacted them to see what their capacities and prices are. I'm REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY hoping that works out and I can go up there and check it out and hopefully put down my first deposit so that I can finalize a date and all that. After the location is the food, dress, flowers, honeymoon, and a place for me and Taxi to live after the dreaded blessed event. Thing two: For some reason people feel like they get to tell me their personal philosophy/failed marriage story, usually accompanied by a firm "You're too young." This is EXTREMELY irritating. I am not 15. I understand that being married and playing Candyland are not the same. I know that it is emotionally and financially trying. I know that a lot of lessons will have to be learned. I know that a lot of people that get married at my age get divorced. Maybe this is naive of me, but I will be a month or two shy of 22 when I get married. I know that 22 isn't 40 (which is apparently the youngest you SHOULD be before you get married). But 22 isn't 17 either. My own parents (mom AND dad) don't think I'm too young. Austin's parents don't think he's too young. Both sides have recommended pre-marital counseling, which we WILL go through. In the past like 20 years a solid marriage has become this unattainable goal in the minds of society. People have been getting married and being content for, I dont know...a few THOUSAND years. I understand that being HAPPILY married takes a whole lot of work. Any happily married couple will tell you that. His parents are very happily married and have told us the same thing. I just wish that strangers would stop telling me how young I am and how I will get divorced. Its just plain RUDE. On a more positive note. I am very much looking forward to life after the wedding. To be honest the wedding can go suck an egg. I'm really looking forward to getting our own house/apartment and just getting started on the rest of our lives. He just got this really incredible job that he loves and seems to be very good at. The company also offers a lot of room for growth and his managers love him. He met one of their wives yesterday and she was like "You must be Austin! He talks about you so much! Its so nice to meet you!" He's worked there for three days. Lately I've been fighting off the urge to take him furniture shopping and stuff like that. I'm like...nesting? or something. I want to go look for and pick out OUR couch and OUR tables and OUR wall paint and OUR pots and pans. Its actually ridiculously girly of me. Ok. I'm done now. -end. x-posted on myspace |
