I want to be 85 pounds. =/

Yeah. Ate 1,000 cals today. Can't keep on doing that.

Not going to eat tomorrow. I WILL NOT EAT. FUCK.

So yeah, I don't like cutting. Because my wrists are beautiful.

Quite a random thought but hey, gotta start somewhere.

Gonna work out tomorrow morning in my school fitness centre. High school rocks!

Hours so far: 10.5 hours. Not going to eat. Not going to eat. I am NOT hungry. NOT, NOT, NOT.

"Suck it in, fatty."

I'm worried about my marks. I want to get into McGill.  Because McGill is cool. Aim for the universe and you'll get all the stars.

I shall disappear and do my homework now.

I hope my friends aren't still reading this.

I am my own worst enemy.

My wrist is red. I hate being the only one at work with a watch. Time for me to start wearing my watch on my other hand. For reasons I am too deeply ashamed to disclose.

I hate my English teacher.

I'm too busy. I'm going crazy. *wails*

To do list for the weekend:
- Help out at rowing, work on Saturday
- Regatta on Sunday
- TWO tests AND an assignment due Monday
- Work on Monday
- Newspaper meeting on Monday
- Reminder: Talk to Mrs. Bain...

Bleh. Tomorrow we're going to Kingston for the day. I LOVE KINGSTON!

I ate: 2 slices of pumpkin pie, a LOT of cool whip, and... 4 chocolate mini-bars. Oh yeah, a salad, a muffin, PB&J on toast...

Despite eating so much these days I'm STILL losing. Hmm... Gotta be careful that I'm not just losing because my period is here... Back to 152 and that feels better. Makes my final goal seem a lil closer. 132... 132... Whee! I may have lipo done on my tummy, because fat cells can only be shrunk, not eliminated. I don't want to have to worry about getting fat again. If I can maintain at 1800 calories a day once I'm at 130-ish... I will be VERY happy. I mean, I like eating. I don't like starving myself. I feel horrible; huge guilt complex here... every time I eat, but I think that's just because I'm so disgustingly fat.

My mom was staring at my tummy today, and she was like, oh Sarah, your stomach is disgusting, can't you at least hold it in, fatty?

I hate my mother.

I turned to the dark side today. It came up so easily. 5 minutes and that slice of pumpkin pie was gone...

I'm going to bed now. Niiight!!

<3 -- Sarah -- <3

Well now... I attemped to fast today, and failed. Not too badly, but I still failed.

B: None
S: Green Tea with 1 tbsp milk [15 calories]
L: None
S: Yogurt & Popcorn [400 calories]
D: Rice and Tomatoes with Chicken [300 calories]
Total: 715 calories [.:.Disgusting.:.]

So yeah, I feel bleh today. Did I mention I hate AND love English all at once? ^_^

Morning practice today at the canal was good. I felt like I could fly. Literally. I had the perfect backsplash... I love rowing in the singles.

I've made my mind up, it's all or nothing. I want to be the Canadian champion this year.

I need to get [MORE] active. It starts now. With 500 situps. And 100 pushups. Tomorrow morning I am dragging myself up and out of bed and going for a 45 minute run before school.

Well, gonna go do an English essay plan... Take care babes!! <3 <3 <3

Stay Strong!!

Forever Anorexic... Sarah.

OMG OMG OMG. I am so excited!!!

I know where I want to go to University.

I know what I want to take IN University.

I shall definitely have to include Latin in one of my first year courses... simply because I want to learn the language.

Brescia University College. Located on the University of Western Ontario Campus. An all-women's school. Yes, Sarah, going to an all-women's school.

Maximum class sizes = 50 students. Average is 40.

That excites me.

Hmmm... Check out their site --> www.brescia.uwo.ca <--

Nice, No? =)

I am off to bed for now. Have a race tomorrow. Maintaining at 1,000 calories a day and feeling horridly guilty.

"This ED takes over you for life."