I'm going to be using this xanga again.  I started it a few months back when I didn't want to write some things on  one that was so exposed to people I knew too well. 

Anyway, I erased that xanga.  Another one gone. I don't even know if blogging is worth it anymore.  But I can't leave.  Not with the dependence i've built, needing some of you, your advice.  So i'll continue to spew my thoughts here. 

So anyway, here I am.  Again.

ETA:

Sooo.  School.  I moved in here over a week ago. 

Last Sunday to be exact. I'm pretty positive that tyne and i put the futon back together wrong.  it makes loud noises and is very uneven.  Oh well though.  It serves its purpose.  Living here is nice, with being away from my parentals and all.  But to be honest I can't fully enjoy anything yet and that makes me sad.  I'm so completely worried about getting a new student loan.  I need it by the end of this month in order to buy a new car when the lease on my jeep is up, and to pay my tuition bill for this semester. 

I've been anxious.  I clean a lot to distract myself.  I beat myself up inside often for not doing enough homework, and not working out like i said i wanted to, and not getting to bed earlier than i do.  I'm trying to remain optimistic about things though.  Really I am.  Either that or i'm just not thinking about them at all. 

I am overly sensitive. 

I need. I need.  I need.

On the good side i've had Tyne spending the night with me every night.  I love having her here, even if it's just for simple things like going to bed next to her, and waking up to her, and having her pick me up from classes and stuff.  I still think she's amazing.  I'm still so so in love with her.  tyneisagrizzlyyyyyy <--- she did that.  I love her more and more everyday.  I don't think she realizes that though.  But one day i'll make her and that will be the best day ever. 

Annnyway.  I am gonna go for now.