theboy_O_wonder's Xanga

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Wed, 26 May 2004 20:05:10 GMT

currently listening to Jack Johnson: brushfire fairytales. its' kinda funny, sometimes i really like this album, and sometimes i really can't stand it. anyway, i'm currently doing alot of my late homework, and recouperating from having 5% of my lung collapse. while not horrible, and i definately will survive, it was a little scary. and i can now no longer practice or compete in fridays track meet. fuckin-A! oh well, i'll get better. then i'll be stronger and faster than ever before! just like christopher reeves. oops, did i really type that. speaking of christopher reeves there is one of lifes horrible ironies. man plays superman, man falls off horse, man who played superman now can only move neck. i think i was about eight years old when it happened and i asked mom why this guy being paralyzed was such a big deal when it had happened to thousands of other people. she answered "because he's famous honey." but i have to say, that man is the cause or should be the cause of much insiration. he has continued to work hard to walk /move again and seems to have taken it all in stride. oops. that was unintentional.

-BW

Monday, May 10, 2004

Mon, 10 May 2004 13:42:56 GMT

it's been a long time since i've even glanced at this thing. i don't really think it's even worth it anymore, although lolita has somewhat inspired me to write some more. speaking of lolita...i had a wonderful lunch time drive with her. cke in a can and unfocused eyes seemed to be the measure of the day, followed towards the end with quite possibly the most awkward situation i have ever put my self in. lolita knows what i'm talking about. ahh what a day. i guess i'll go pillage till my glands are full or whatever.

Monday, May 10, 2004

Mon, 10 May 2004 13:40:27 GMT

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

Tue, 30 Mar 2004 09:43:11 GMT

the senior play, was excellent. everyone did really well, with some minor goofing off on the last night. i'm a little perturbed at Seamstress for her "Schhhhtiff upper lip" but for more of a personal reason than anything else. SpeedyGonzalez was there with his family, and i knew it was important to him for them to come see the play, so i wanted it to go as super-duper as it did on saturday. but they still enjoyed it, and boy's will be boys, and girls will be girls, and seniors will goof off on the last night of the play right? besides, i do have to admit that it was pretty amusing, along with the addition that the boys put into their fight scene. so....without much furthur ado......

I GOT INTO COLLEGE!!!!!!

I just got accepted to Ithaca's Design Tech programand SUNY Purchase's design tech program for lighting design. i'm fucking stoked.

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

Wed, 17 Mar 2004 13:02:53 GMT

ahhhh.... yet another lovely day in this fucked up world. Lolita is rather pissed off at me and i can't blame her. however, in her haste to yell and bitch to the world, she has only heard what she wants to hear. i did make some mistakes by actually letting my gaurd down for a minute or ten. i told her how i was feeling. that i wanted to kiss her. this has proven to be a huge mistake. i accept full blame for being an ass. however, i can not be held accountable for what she chooses to hear and what she chooses not to hear. i do love her but she doesn't want to hear that. i starting to think that the only way this is going to be resolved is if we go our seperate ways. this is the last thing i want in fact, nothing could be farther from what i want. i want to be able to hang out with her, i want to be able talk to her, and to go bowling, and take walks and do the things that friends do. i don't know if we'll ever be able to do that. i'm beginning to see the truth of things. we'll see where that takes me. we'll see what happens in this fucked up drama called life. because lord knows it wouldn't be fun if it weren't dramatic now would it.
on a side note, i've decided that people suck, and that i'm at a point in my life right now where, while not contemplating suicide, i wouldn't be overly concerned if i got hit by a mack truck or some other large vehicle.
it's really a funny thing to start thinking of yourself as an asshole. maybe i've been hanging around justin too much.

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

Tue, 10 Feb 2004 13:50:49 GMT

Remember when?
remember the time?
walking to the river,
rippling black glass
shapes swim by,
as if through oil,
moonlight reflected through the looking glass,

Remember when?
trapped by your stare,
by your lips,
i need one last kiss,
like tomorrow it never comes,

Remember when?
laying by the river,
about to fall in,
surounded by fabric.
naked skin on skin,
christa cold on the ground.
not a care in the world.

Remember when?
standing in the rain,
standing in the dark,
tears run down my shirt,
holding you close,
protecting you forever.

Remember when?
family in the next room,
i feel cold, fixed with a blanket.
"can i play too?"

Remember when?
black cherry dress,
chicken alfredo and candles,
romantic,
a torn white shirt.
where's my gum?

Remember when?
Tag your it,
running round walmart,
exhausted yet happy,
i am fulfilled by your smile.

Remember when?
requiem for a dream,
laying side by side,
first kiss,
the taste of your lips,
he stands there and we laugh.

Remember when?
side by side,
your body conforms to mine,
stuck in the couch.
i love you.

Remember when?
"i love you"
"i love you too"
heart singing,
light and soaring,

Remember when?
of course i do,
how could i forget you?
i will always remember when.

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

Tue, 10 Feb 2004 13:25:32 GMT

Intuition. it moves us, it makes us, it can break us. it depends on whether or not you follow it. i have known for the last two months that my mothers dog is going to die in the next five. i told epeemom this two months ago. she wouldn't hear it.ou rdog was diagnosed with cancer three days ago. she's now on steriods, as you may already know from epeemom' s blog. on a similiar level, there have been other times when i have known things that i shouldn't have. i'm not saying that i'm psychic or clairavoyant, because i am by no means either. however, i was walking in to my room with a friend of mine, she happened to be a girl. and i turned around and looked at my mom and said, "what did you say?" she hadn't opened her mouth. "i didn't say anything" she said. "did you just say 'oh god'" "no but i thought it." what is it about the human mind that allows us to operate on different planes of thought. about a year and nine months ago, my mother was in a serious car accident. my stepfather and i were at home, and mom had gone to get my brother at work. he firechief an di got a phone call. epeemom had just been in a car accident. the cheif started to freak out in that calm way of his. he asked me if i was coming with him. i said no, i kow that they're fine. i don't know how i knew, i just did. i could be simply spouing of, but i seriously believe that we as humans can function on several different planes of thought at one time. now some of you may scoff at this idea, but i say phooey to you. all you have to do is be able to recieve as well as give. an open mind is essential. as a footnote however, you need to be able to distinguish the difference between your intuiton and your desire, or your fear. i would love to hear any thoughts on the matter.

Sunday, February 08, 2004

Sun, 08 Feb 2004 21:51:04 GMT

i love you because, you're sweet and pretty. you make me smile, you make my knees week. you make me want to put the world right for you. i love the way you fit so perfectly within my arms, you make me want to be a better person. when you look at me i can see the sparkle in your eye and i know that you love me. i love the way you can smile and i'm the only one who sees it. i love the way you fall back and trust me to catch you, i love the fact that i can't ever even envision being with anyone else. i love being there for you. i want to protect you always, i love that feeloing i get when i hear your voice, i love the tingles and shiver that shoots up my arm when i first hold your hand, i love the games we play, i love the way that you speak your mind, i love the way that you stand up for what you believe in, i love the way that you hold your head when we flirt i love the way that we can lay and say nothing together. i love you with all of the particles and fibers of my being. my heart and my soul cries out to you, i long to be with you, whenever we are apart i think of you. i love you more than anything else, and i would do anything for you.

Sunday, January 04, 2004

Sun, 04 Jan 2004 22:01:38 GMT

The last time that i cried was about a month and a half ago. Lolita and i decided we couldn't be friends anymore, and i left her driveway crying. But tonight was diferent. Tonight, for the first time ever, i cried tears of joy, i cried tears of love. tonight, i laid next to my beautiful lolita and held her in my arms. i held her until she fell asleep. (she denies it, but i know it's true) later, while holding her still, i was so overcome with love and joy for this most beautiful of creatures that i wept. it was an odd thing for me, for i have never wept for joy, always for pain or sadness. After laying next to her, i gave her a massage to help her relax and to ease her headache. i massaged with the love and tenderness that can only be achieved through a love as strong as mine. i have never been so content in my life, as i am when i am with her.

Sunday, January 04, 2004

Sun, 04 Jan 2004 14:29:47 GMT

Ahhh...shit. i had said that i would try to do daily entries on my blog. but i guess such is not to be. I guess i'm just not that kind of person. i like to keep many things private. although there is a certain kinkiness about this sort of voyeuristic writing. i got on to it because i wanted to read the private thoughts of my wonderful Greeneyedlolita. it is kinda fun. i like to get feedback and such. although no one reads this blog except my lolita and amy mother(wierd). i think i got a new subscriber tho. that's kindof fun. my very first one. i don't count lolita and epeemom simply because i love them too much. plus they new about the site. although i do think that i'm getting recognition becauseof my mom's blog. go you epeemom. you certainly are something else. i'd like to close, by saying that i've had a fantabulously wonderific vacation. i've gotten to see my beloved lolita much much much. i didn't get exactly what i wanted for christmas, but i simply think of how well off i am in comparison to many other little boys and girls out there who can't afford to have a christmas or to put food on the table. next year i'm going to ask for a hundred dollars to be donated to a charity. i think that would be best. for everyone involved.

i have had so much fun with my beloved lolita. i have never felt this way about anyone before in my life. i am so in love with her, it seems as if we are the only two people on the planet when i am with her. she makes me float above cloud nine. we're talkin outer space my friends. it's such an amazing feeling to experience. ATTENTION WORLD: I AM MADLY, PASSIONATELY IN LOVE WITH MY BELOVED GREENEYEDLOLITA! SHE IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING! SHE IS EVERYTHING I WANT AND MORE. i love you Lolita. i love you so much.