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thelittleonesaidROLLOVER
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Name: Rachel
Birthday: 12/28/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: Life. Kittens. Paint. Music. Dark Bedrooms. Quiet Solo performances. Family. People who want me. Feeling Welcome. Feeling comfortable in my own home...
Expertise: breathing. Thats about all I can do well...
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  fekagu87
Member Since:
9/18/2005
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| Craziness...I don't think I have separation issues. I can manage this week without him. I'd just rather not. I miss him. Thats normal isn't it?
He watched P.S. I Love You with me last night :)
He payed for the rental :)
He loves me :)
I don't know why I ever doubted it. It's always been clear. He's never dated a fat girl before. I know I'm not, but in comparison to ALL of the other girls he's dated... I am... (No, he did not say that to me)... But in any case, I'm the first, and if I can be chubby and awkward and completely not his type, and STILL manage to hold onto him this long, obviously theres something else. Not money. But he loves me. He really does and I love him more than anything in the world. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to him.... And I know, he'd be lost without me. And THAT is an amazing feeling.
I don't see any reason we won't make it in the long run. Its a little far off, but I know.
I just know.
:)
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| I understand...but not really at all...
Tiffany, I'm talking about your "very best friend".... lol...
She's such a crazy bitch. I borrowed a piano book from her, and she's trying to get it back now... I understand that part.
HAVE SOME FREAKING sympathy...I'm not holding the book hostage. I got sick!!
I told her why I didn't get it to her when I said I would. She didn't care about the excuse. Be it good or be it bad, she shoved it off. What if a family member had died? She'd have done the same.
UGH I hate people like that. But now that I've vented, I'm over it.
:) today is going to be busy... but hopefully good... No storms!!!
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| some company?Eric is leaving next week for the whole week. I'm a big girl, I'll be fine... but whats the harm in having someone to talk to or something to play with? I'm thinking about getting either a hamster or another betta. I know a fish is cheaper, and probably smarter... and less smelly... but yea. I kinda want a fuzzy friend. Especially after playing with those puppies all afternoon!!! :) Also, this would be my 6th betta, which is fine... I just... Idk. Obviously I'd rather have the hamster, but I know they smell, and I don't want that thing stinkin up my apartment. Maybe if there were ways to keep it from smelling so bad? And/or cheaper ways to keep it as far as food and upkeep go? I mean, fish are so easy. Feed them once a day at most, and some bettas can go a week without eating. And the food is cheap, Buy it like, once a year or maybe 6 months. The only trouble is the cleaning of the tank. Not bad if you have a filter, but those can get a little expensive and can be tricky every once in a while. I would really rather get a hamster.... Anyone ever kept a hamster before? Got any tips? Advice? Give me feedback. | | |
| I just wanted to fulfill my role as Cookie Monster.I just wanted to make her a cookie.
But I'm broke. $1.59 in my checking account. No savings account anymore. 8 not-yet mature savings bonds. 37 cents in my pocket.
Did you know?
I have never in my life been shopping with the intent of getting whatever I wanted?
I've gone shopping for clothes when I needed them. For groceries,
likewise. I guess stuff like prom dresses and jewelry might count under
the want list, but then again, if you are definitely GOING to the prom,
then you have to have a dress. Even if it does count, I only bought one.
I don't think that makes me a brat. Brats are the ones who go shopping every weekend, miss one weekend and throw a fit.
I think its fair to splurge once in a while. Which is why I'll spend $5
at a fast food place before I'll buy a 24-pack ramen noodles and some
gatorade for the same price...
But ya know, I'd like to be someone like most of you out there. I'd
like to go on a date with my boyfriend once in a while, whether he pays
or I do, I don't think makes that big a difference. I'd like to see a
movie once a month, or even every other month. I haven't seen any
movies in theatres in 2008. We've been on two dates in 2008.
I'd like to go shopping so I can wear what I want, whats comfortable,
and whats appropriate. Did you know I haven't been shopping for clothes
since my freshman year of college? Almost 2 years. I've bought 2 pair
of jeans since I've been in college. 2 years. I've bought a few shirts
here and there. Could probably average one a month since I first got
here. 24 shirts and 2 pair of jeans, and maybe 3 pair of shoes in 24
months. That might sound like a lot at first, but think about it... Can
you even count how much you've bought in the last year?
I'm not angry, or resentful towards people with money and little
luxuries... I just wish I could be there you know? Or at least a little
closer. For the first year and a half, it was impossible to get and/or
keep a job. No time. Or, my only free time was after 5 pm, but I'd have
classes again at 8am, so I couldn't go work somewhere all night. Not to
mention, most places in Carrollton will work with a schedule like I
had. I needed too much flexibility. Then it took almost all semester,
but I pretty much had three jobs thrown in my lap at once. I'm
extremely grateful for them all. The extra cash has fed me the last
month or so while my meal plan ran out.
I have a plan. I've created my budget. I just need the chance to build
some savings and be able to actually work that budget. Did you know
that in three months time, given my boss keeps his work and gives me
the salary and hours I need, I can save over $2000? I can live off my
refund this summer, once I get it... But until then, I'm living
paycheck to paycheck. When that happens, a person starts to think "Well
I have this $400 paycheck, I'll pay off this and this and have $30 to
eat with for the next two weeks"... You can't save money that way...
I want to ask for help, but my siblings are right. I can't ask my
parents for the next 20 years to buy me groceries for the family I'd
like to have, or extra cash for diapers and God knows what else I'll
need whenever I make the choice to have a baby.
So I have to get through. It's just really really difficult. And you
know, I'm not looking to go shopping every weekend, I'd just like to
think, "hey, its summertime and I'd like some summer clothes" and
actually be able to go get them. By God I will when my refund gets in.
I'm not going to spend all $2220, but I need to do something for me. I
don't NEED a pedicure, but I NEED to treat myself. I don't NEED to get
Phi Delta stuff for my boyfriend, but I NEED to help him feel better
about certain things, and I KNOW that will help.
No, I don't have to buy his love. He loves me now more than ever, and
I'm as broke as I've ever been. It's just the whole... I NEED to see
him open a gift. I NEED to see THAT kind of happiness. We're not that
material, but because we're not, that kind of gift giving is so much
better. It's extra special.
I want to see a movie. I want to go to dinner. I want new clothes. I want a pedicure.
I will have these things. I'm 20 years old, and my life is flying by.
Probably 1/4 over, maybe more. Someone made a good point the other day.
If you have a little bit of debt in life, but you die happy, then whats
the real problem?
I'm going to try and avoid as much debt as possible, but I'm not going
to let my life and my financial status roll over me anymore. THIS is
why I'm not going to school. THIS is why I'm going to work. THIS is
going to be the start of a good and happy life. | | |
| FUCK THAT!I'm so fucking mad. Like, if I could illustrate me right now, it'd be every major natural disaster and terrorist attack in the history of the WORLD combined. Maybe not that mad... but I'm angry to the point of cool anger. I've never been cool when angry. NEVER. I'm so damn calm, and at the same time not at all. Maybe like, Titanic after she struck the iceberg, but before anyone realized how much/any damage had been done... that quiet almost peaceful terror... UUGGHHHH... SHE THREATENED TO CALL THE FUCKING POLICE!! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?!?!?!?! These people were my friends. My BEST friends. Barely a month ago. And now she's calling the police... about three tshirts? WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!? I graduated from high school May 26, 2006. I don't know about the rest of you, but I left ALL of my high school experience there. I came to college to CHANGE. to GROW THE FUCK UP! I just don't know what to say anymore. What to do. She got her goddamn shirts. But they will keep trying to terrorize me until I'm not close enough to anymore... I thought moving apartments would do the trick. Now, because it wasn't, I'm afraid that nothing will. I'm going to Verizon this week. I'm going that far. I'm blocking their numbers if I can. I'll block them on facebook. On myspace. I don't want them to be a part of my life any longer. In any way form or fashion. I quit. | | |
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