thelittleonesaidROLLOVER's Xanga

ConnectU.com?

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 15:28:53 GMT

anyone been there?

apparently the dude who made facebook copied their shit. or maybe it was vice versa. idk. i dont really care either. but i went to the website to see and its so much like facebook.

then eric fussed at me because "it could have viruses" and mess his computer up. i get that. but whatev. anyone know? i want to play around on it but if i do i get yelled at. just someone who'd know what to look for as far as viruses go.

Don't get me wrong.

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 23:36:17 GMT

I'm in a fantastic mood.

Eric and I spent the day together.

Spent more money than I should have... so did he... but we still kept it cheap-ish.

I'm happy. And he's happy. And I don't have to guess that. I can tell. Do you know what an amazing feeling that is? Knowing you made someone you love happy?

:)

Oh... and to do with the title. Eric made a very good point and I must take a moment to be a bitch.

I AM SO EFFIN HAPPY AND (good) HYSTERICAL THAT MY APARTMENT IS GOING TO KICK ASS AND THEIRS WONT!!! Them being my former roommates. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHA!!!

SO effin happy!

Don

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 23:33:42 GMT

Nerves?

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 22:39:19 GMT

Yea... I called my mom to ask for dinner ideas. Talked about it being late tonight because Eric is at work.

She asked if he'd proposed yet.

She has no faith. She thinks he's going to change a lot when school starts back.

Funny thing is... I think I'll change more than he will.

Idk. I'm nervous too. Scared I won't be busy enough. Scared I'll be sitting at home all too much all by myself.

But in reality... if I had a boyfriend living with me or not, wouldn't I be just as lonely? If not more.

They like Eric. They don't like me and Eric. Probably because a lot of our relationship is against everything they tried raising us in.

I know theres some wrong in it.

He does too.

I think...

We'll talk tonight.

Figure some things out.

I don't see a ring for at least two years from now. Not to put time on it, but in all honesty, he's going to have to want to spend money on one, rather than drum corps. And he's so excited, so wrapped up in go back to Crown next summer. I'd love it for him. I want him to have fun. Be happy.

I just wonder what kind of bells I'm hearing right now...

hhmmmm...

I know my other roommate...

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 16:35:49 GMT

And I honestly can't decide if it's a good thing or not.

I mean, what I know of her is good and all. She's really nice...

But she's also still friends with a lot of people I went to high school with... a lot of people that I'm afraid are going to be coming back into my life very soon...

a lot of people that I'm not sure I'm ready to see again.

Cross your fingers Case. She's nice. I just hope she doesn't have a problem with our boys. Or Otis. If she does... we might have trouble.

aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 13:09:07 GMT

i feel like... weird.

did you know i have a hole in my foot?

i do.

now i've missed two full days of work. SUCKS. if i don't figure something out soon i'm fucked.

i need money and desperately. i am in debt to my parents, an organization, and verizon for almost $1000. And in about 2 weeks i have another $419 due at the grove.

ahhhhhhhh

gotta figure something out.

#3

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 22:47:55 GMT

i have 34.2% body fat. 58 lbs of fat on my body.

wow.

at first when i saw that i was like SHIT! i'd look gross if i lost 60 lbs. BUT then i realized thats not quite right. most females should have about 22% body fat or so... which means on 12/13 % to lose. so i'd be HEALTHY losing like... idk. somewhere in the range of 25 lbs. which sounds a lot better than my original goal of losing about 40 lbs. i also think the only way i could do that is a very very bad way.

but yes. i'm going to shoot for losing 25 lbs. and we'll go from there.

:)

A Note...

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 20:08:26 GMT

I don't always understand.

I AM the simple minded girl... or I was. I know everyone says it at some point, but I really do miss when things were simple. Being 8 years old and not understanding that there were even bad things going on out there.

I guess I was trying to somehow get back to that. See, I was the happiest kid in the world... for all of my childhood (up to about 12). My mom says it. My dad says it. Pictures show it. I never had bad days. Most little kids don't, but I really was always happy.

I had things I cared about too. I loved to read. I loved to be with people. And I've always cared about people. I LOVED people. People have always easily won my heart. I made easy friends with everyone. I was that beautiful little girl. With the big blonde curls and huge blue eyes. And I had the personality to match.

Maybe thats why growing up was so hard. Because even though no one's perfect, I was pretty damn close. And things started changing. I got those big round embarrassing glasses because we couldn't afford cool frames. I joined the band (and I don't regret it, but it wasn't cool by any means back then). I started growing wider before I grew taller, which made me look fat. So by the time I made it to high school, I looked better, and more people accepted me (especially in the band), my self esteem was so low that nothing anyone said or did could make it better.

It's taken me 6 years and I'm okay with myself. Most of the time. But now my personality has suffered. Maybe? I guess I don't really know. But I'm scared a lot. Scared that the most important people in my life will leave me. Granted, no one in my family ever did. But then maybe at the same time they kind of did. Isaac was one of my favorites for so long... but then he left for college. Then Becky left, and I understand more about it now, but I had a bad birthday the year she got married. And it all happened so fast. I had my first real boyfriend and my first real kiss and I couldn't talk to anyone in my family about it because everyone was caught up with Becky's wedding. I had friends that I talked to... but a year later they ditched me. And here I am... with no friends that I've had more than 2 years. I LOVE the friends I have. Don't get me wrong. But I get so jealous when one of my friends goes and hangs out with their friend of 15 years or more.

For such a happy kid, I sure turned into a sad sad woman.

Idk. Sometimes I think I would make a good therapist. BUT I might analyze too much for that. Idk.

ANYWAY...

It was brought to my attention recently that I haven't entirely grown up yet. Maybe thats what college is for, but I'm not in school anymore. NOW is my time to grow up. And its scary. I don't even know how to fill out W-2's or what those really even are. Something to do with taxes... I just BARELY opened my own checking account. No mom and dad on it. Just me. I'm TWENTY YEARS OLD!!! Time is flying by.

And now I'm going to be a grown up. I'm going to find a decent job if I end up living in my CAR for a while. I want so badly to be taken seriously, but it all comes down to one thing.

Do I take me seriously?

I do.

::music:: i'm a big kid now! ::end music::

I can't start today over. But tomorrow morning when I when up, things will be different.

ok ok ok

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 14:07:15 GMT

so i got my foot stuff done. not hurting yet...

still numb.

idk idk.

as for other things... i feel better. i gotta be careful though... get a few drinks in me and i'll want to scream it from the rooftops.

i'm so completely and incredibly in love with Eric David Donaldson.

:)

i hate being scared.

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 00:05:52 GMT

but lets see...

scared :
adjective
made afraid; "the frightened child cowered in the corner"; "too shocked and scared to move" [syn: frightened]

i guess its not supposed to be a good feeling.

i'm scared of a lot of things right now.

one thing near the top of the list is going to the doctor tomorrow. i will be in excruciating pain for a few days.

those of you old enough to buy alcohol... do a friend a favor. i beg you.

:(