October 17, 2005 was supposed to be my last real entry on here.  It was meaningful, emotional, and heartfelt; basically one of those things you write when you're feeling totally at peace.  Since that entry, without much reason, my life has lost most of its meaningfulness. My mission today is to get it back.

On July 30,2005 this little gem popped itself out of my mind.

My point is that a person should never be ashamed of themselves.  If you are going to commit an action that you will regret, don't do it.  That's integrity. Refusing to acknowledge a regrettable action is just cowardice.  It makes me sick when I see it, it makes me even sicker when I do it.

Standing on firm ground I could hold that virtue steadfast in my mind.  It helped me achieve such lucid thinking as is present in my entry on October 17^th.  It graced me with the ability to know better.

When things got rocky that virtue left without me even realizing that it was gone.  For a while its absence was drowned out by the roar of my big, exciting life. The last few days have muted that roar and left me with the empty space it traveled through.

This is where I’m going to begin rebuilding.

August 5, 2005 is how I want to feel again.

August 10, 2005 is what I want you to never forget feeling.

<3