Well... i basically lied about that update coming later that night... yeah summer part one is now over, so im back in england... WOO HOO!! (latest update... all 4 of my best friends have now moved out of the country back to america... it's awesome... God has something up his sleeve.) Off to Wyldlife camp in about.. 2 1/2 hours (i just got into england less than an hour ago...long story... tell later... I PROMISE!) So im packing, taking a shower, running to Nandos and going to camp in less than 3 hours all with ... 30 minutes of sleep. Should be QUITE interesting! Thank goodness God is strong! More when i come home!

btw. those are my girls from Work Crew, Lake Champion, July 2005 in that pix. with me! <3 Christine and Kristen!

i am so in love it hurts... <3

(A better update coming tonight, no worries!!)

i listened...just like you told me to... and i got spit in the face.

im so effing sick of your doubting me and your thinking im this girl that you imagine in your head.

effing let me go. i dont want to be your stupid girl any more.

it’s you and me and all of the people… and I can’t keep my eyes off of you

Last Saturday I took my first SAT. What an accomplishment right? It was like all other standardized tests… long and the biggest effing waste of my Saturday!  We also had our Wyldlife going away party at the Scott’s castle (no joke they live in a castle)… I envy rich people which trampolines, swings, pools, and giant green bouncy balls. It was sad seeing those kids say bye to each other, however it was a very eventful little shin dig. We had a bullying innocent, I managed to break a ping-pong table numerous times, I got to jump on a trampoline, and swing, play with a giant green bouncy ball, and eat loads of rice crispy squares, we caught two kids making out in the bushes hard core, I beat Brooke swimming (that’s right 30 is way past prime my friends!), and I got to flirt with my boyfriend in the pool. It was neat I got all insecure and girly.

Sunday we had a church BBQ after church… it was thrilling.

Monday it was the last young leaders. That really means nothing to me simply because I will have young leaders again all next year, however it does mean that it will defiantly not be as fun because Nick, Sara, Matt, and Ben White (the source of cruel entertainment) will ALL BE GONE! .. That’s right folks’ all my amazing friendships out the windows. I hate this. I did get to pray for Sara though. Not like I don’t do it all the time. I guess it was just different this time. It was fun.

Tuesday night I went to see A Philadelphia Story with Kevin Spacey. It was… decent compared to what followed the next day. (btw Kevin is shorter and stockier than I thought he would be!)

Wednesday, the highlight of my week. I woke up late while Matt was taking his final exams, took a leisurely shower, powdered my nose and trotted out the door off to starbucks then to school for one period of ITGS, then off to London to go see The Death of a Salesman with Brian Dennehy. It was awesome. I had some super Japanese food before the show followed by my second venti iced chai tea latte. The play it self was AMAZING. I think I will be hard-pressed to ever see a drama more powerful and moving than that. The acting was simply phenomenal. So twisted, but real. Basically even my family situation doesn’t seem shit after seeing that show. Yes folks that is right. Dramatic, depressing theater does have a perk! Matt came to get me from school. We had a pizza and Scrubs date. It was a good day.

Thursday was my sisters 14^th birthday! I woke up at 6 to make her a special birthday pancake. It was HUGE in the shape of a heart and with icing I spelt out on it, “Happy 14^th Birthday”. It was cool I brought her breakfast in bed. Matt came 5^th period to surprise Abby with starbucks for her b-day. (he also brought me, kendall, and elliot some as well because he loves us!) Brooke and Kerry came with a cake for abby at lunch. It was fun we had a feast of cake, starbucks, and taco salad *violently vomits*.  Matt stayed at school to finish kendall’s art pieces. He’s such a sweet heart. I sunk out of math to visit him, I felt very devious and sly. I am lame. We then went out to Staines where my family got in a fight (very common) it was bad. I love Matt he gets me through the crap. I then had to say goodbye to his family at dinner that night. …Rough night. My mom… well yet again another fight with my mother resulting from what, I once again have no clue, but a fight all the same putting me in a sour mood to being with. Then the fact that I had to eat dinner pretending to be happy that the only people who I feel truly love me sometimes were leaving me the next morning. …Rough night.

Friday… Wonderful Friday! Friday I left school at about 11:45 due to the fact that my effing school is such a dump that we don’t even have teachers come to school the week before exams, therefore I spent all day in school doing jack. So I left. I came home and cleaned the house for my sister’s b-day party. 18 middle schoolers = dirty chaos. Matt and Sara came over at around 3. We just waited and played with bubbles lots till Brooke and Tate came to get us to take us to see Third Day. They were really good… for Third Day. I don’t like them that much to begin with. But seeing a good Christian band in a run down club in London really revives your soul. I don’t know what Sara thought of it, but Matt and I had fun dancing and sweating. Gotta love sweaty dancing to 38 year old men singing their hearts out for God. Good times, great oldies. That’s all I have to say!

Saturday Matt and I helped out at this 5 year olds b-day party. His parents go to my church and asked if we could help. It was effing awesome! (Matt says it was boring because he had a crappy job!) This little boy had a bouncy castle slide, and crafts and face painting. Oh yeah, I love me a good face painting. I was in charge of slappin’ a balloon, or flower, or star, or dinosaur (my personal best) onto some little 4 year olds face. It was fun. I painted this hard core star on matts wrist. He looked so effing hXc I wanted to kiss him, however PDA isn’t too awesome around 5 year olds and their wine-o parents. That night we came home and watched Phantom of the Opera on the big screen with the projector. That night was a great night for cuddling. I was more in love that night than I have ever been in my entire life. It was simply blissful. I was in heaven. I promise I swear.

I love him more than any one ever. He is cooler than any other boy out there. It’s amazing. It’s Love!

Today was church in the morning. I helped lead worship. Always fun. Apparently people heard me sing today which is a good thing because a few people came up and told me how lovely it was… equaling I don’t totally suck after my long spell of not singing or pretending like I lack tone definition. It’s hard when your boyfriend is an effing hXc singer for this slam dancin’, spin kickin’ band! …ok maybe not. But he did sing “I Can Only Imagine” for some orphans in Barbados and they loved him! : ) I play. He has a phenomenal voice… I feel inferior. But he loves me! We went to Windsor shopped around, and got presents. I’m a super shopper, even Matt commented. I feel some girl graduating this weekend will be pleasantly surprised with her nifty grad gifts. Along with super shopping skills, I got a box set of 3 Frank Sinatra cds today for £8.99! Pat on the back for me for getting the buy of the day! Btw... I miss that graduating girl. I want to hang out with her more often. I wish so much that she wasn’t going to college this year. Why do you have to be old? Bad timing my friend. Ill be sure to be punctual next time!

7 days till we see Taking Back Sunday and Jimmy Eat World … and Green Day and Simple Plan

Pardon me but why the eff am I treated like I’m effing 10 years old. I can’t wait to get the eff out of my house!!

Here’s the scoop. Monday was my birthday. Good stuff! In the morning Brooke, Tate, Kerry, and Pacey (Brook and Tate’s dog whom is VERY loved in my family!) came to my house at 8:30 (I had the day off) and woke me up with this obnoxious singing tiara that sang happy birthday to me and a nice birthday sash. I came down stairs after Pacey got her hair all over me and my clean pjs and they had brought all their Starbucks machines over and made me my own Starbucks so I didn’t have to go out, and a pancake breakfast with blueberries and strawberries in the pancakes (my favorite!) We opened presents. Katie Findley, my kindred soul made me the most AMAZING things… as usual, Tate and Brooke got me pee pods to plant! My sister made me a shirt that says… My NAEM MEANS HERO! (Hayley means Hero) but she is dyslexic and spelled the word name wrong. Haha just kidding she ironed on the letters and so she didn’t know you had to do it backwards! But I love it all the same. Matt got me this gorgeous silver and pink necklace, Sara even got me something, 2 things infact! THEN as if I wasn’t feeling loved enough my parents got me I mini green iPod! Yes my friends, I was very anti ipod for a long time, but it is now my new favorite toy. This morning I woke up to the happy tune of “All that I’ve Got” – The Used! I <3 it! THEN my friend Caitlin who moved back to Texas last year showed up at my door to say happy b-day! It was fun we hung out for a few hours, then she left to London. Sara then came over and we went to get my cartilage pierced and eat McDonalds. We came home, Matt came over we tired to figure out how to use my iPod, then went to Young Leaders where I got a birthday cake and Kerry gave me the orange mini iPod sock I’ve always wanted! I love them so much. After Young Leaders Matt and I came back home to my families party with my neighbors (we do this every year because the little boy up the street, Carter’s birthday is on May 31… basically it’s a good excuse for our dads to BBQ and drink beer while eating cake!) I got another cake, hung out, and then went to bed a very happy girl.

Tuesday I had to wake up and go to school. Things have been pretty crap this week. Some assholes at school are like PROM SUCKED and what not. Basically I don’t give a crap, but it’s just rude. There is no respect in my school at all, everyone is so dam insecure that EVERYTHING has to be a joke, or mocked. Whatever, only one more year in that hell hole.

Today sucked the most out of any other day. I went over to Matt’s after school. We had such a fun time, I was like I love days like this even though I had a MASSIVE headache. Matt’s house is being packed up tomorrow…which in it self sucked! So I helped matt pack the clothes he needs for the next 3 weeks and that’s when it hit me that he really is moving. I started to tear but I hate when Matt sees me cry… so I heald it in. I wanted to die though… I realized honestly tonight, all denial aside things were totally about to change . I left the house with hope that going to dinner with Nick, Matt, Tate, Kerry, and Brooke would cheer me up. But not so much, I then just got sad that this was the last time I’d ever lead Wyldlife (middle school Younglife) with Matt and Nick, and that I would have to find new leaders to replace two AMAZING guys who I love. So I went home, ONLY TO MORE BAD NEWS. Yes friends, Katie Findley, My best friend, my supposed-to-be life saver for the sucky next year is moving back to Huston. So here I am, broken down thinking about how absolutely shitty (pardon… but crap does not justify this situation right now) predicament I am in. I know God has something good in all of this… I’m just really struggling to see what that is right now.

I need you God, please comfort me!

When the rain comes it seems that everyone has
gone away
When the night falls you wonder if you shouldn't
find someplace
To run and hide  Escape the pain
But hiding's such a lonely thing to do

I can't stop the rain  From falling down on you again
I can't stop the rain  But I will hold you 'til it goes away

When the rain comes you blame it on the things that
you have done
When the storm fades you know that rain must fall
on everyone
Rest awhile / it'll be alright
No one loves you like I do

When the rain comes  I will hold you