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theonlygayone
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Name: David
Country: United States
State: Nevada
Metro: Las Vegas
Birthday: 10/10/1988
Gender: Male
Interests: shopping, spending money, hanging out, cooking, the phone, and other stuff i guess
Expertise: i love cooking and i work at an engineering firm part time.
Occupation: Engineering
Industry: Engineering
Message: message meEmail: email me
Yahoo:  david_e_1985@yahoo.com
Member Since:
12/16/2004
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| ok yals im gonna cry in a minute if i dont do something. i am so fucked up in my head right now it isnt funny. i dont even know where to start. well ok there are two main things that are fuckingwith me right now. i guess the first would be my spiraling down fall with drugs. ok most of yals know that i smoke weed so that isnt anything. well see i started getting bored of weed like a month or two ago so i decided to try something else. so i had a friend come over with some speed and i tried it. well i liked it so much that in about a two week time period i losabout 10 pounds. my weight hadnt been this low since i was like 14. so that isnt so good. but i havent done it since school got out and you think that would be a good thing but ive been so fucking pissed with pple lately that nothing helps. and im trying to stop doing speed but it is really hard when i want it so badly right now. and then there is this boy. i know when isnt there ever a boy involved in something i do.but this is different kinda. well actually there are two guys. well three if you count the by standard but that is coming up. ok lets start with matt. i got to see him the other day and i had the best time ive ever had in the longest time. and we were just hanging out having alone time. not alone like sex time but just me and him time without anyone else around kinda. his mom was watching us like a hawk but that isnt the point. and then when i left i couldnt get him off of my mind. and i know we are probably going to get back together. but then the next day i come over here to bradleys and tylers over. well he gets up and leaves after finishing a can of dusters.and im like what the fuck. he barely even says 5 words to me. and then the next night he comes over and bradley dares me to makeout with him. well that turned into us almost having sex but we stopped before it got that far. and tonight he wont even stand next to mke. im just so fucking sick of having guys fuck with my head and my body. i just cant stand it anymore but i still go back and ill probably go tonight if my mood inproves any. and youd think why dont you just go with matt but i cant. atleast not yet. he even fucked with me. the one person i trust so much that it hurts sometimes and he hurts me. and half the time i dont even think he means to. i dont even think he realizes it.and im just so sick of it. im having withdrawl from the drugs and im emotionally unstable right now. i think im going to try and find a cigarette. there is more to this but my hands hurt to much to keep typing. later days yals. | | |
| hey every body. hows it going? im just sitting at home typing cuz i just need to talk. im really really scared right now. my mom has to go into surgery today to have well a surgery. there going to open her up about 11" in the front and in the back. she has a disorder where the soft tissue between the bones of the spine are disolving. so they have to fuse the bones together where the tissue is disappearing. and the surgery is used all the time. but its the fact that its my mom. shes gone through so many surgerys for as long as i can remember and they just seem to find more and more thing wrong with her. and it really scares me that they can never fix her and shell stay fixed. and i was ok with her getting the surgery up until about two days ago when i realized what might happen. ive ben crying on and off since then. and last night when she came in to say goodnight i started crying in front of her. she hasnt seen me actually cry since i was like 10. but she told me that she would be alright. but then this morning when she came in to say goodbye she was crying. and that started me crying. do you know what it is like to wake up at 5:45 in the morning and start crying. it isnt the best way to start off your day. and then i called megan cuz i needed someone to talk to and it took everything i had not to break down on the phone. the second i got off though was a different story. and then that leaves me where i am now. 6:58 in the morning and typing about how much of a baby i am. well you guys dont care. ill probably start typing a lot more cuz of this so ill talk to yals later bye. | | |
| howdy yals. whats happening with everyone out there. nothing is really happening here. i know i havent typed in a while but i thought id give you all a recap on my life.well lets see whats happend lately. oh i know ive come to the conclusion that im madly in love with my best guy friend. ok maybe madly in love is a little drastic. i just like him. a lot but there happens to be just one problem. he happens to be in a relationship. i know, isnt that just the case for like everyone. why cant we all just find our prince charming and not have him like someone else. but i guess ill just have to wait it out or just move on. itll probably be the second one. but how iam i going to move on when he is like into me. ok well thats not a forsure fact but everyone tells me that. and he spends a lot of time with me. and the other day he did this really cute thing. he bit me on the shoulder and it really felt good( well thats not the cute part. that was just hot.) and then i got up to mess with one of my friends and then when i sat back down he layed his head on my shoulder. i was like oh my gay. and i was going to make a move but i stopped myself. he happens to be in a relationship and that just drives me crazy. and i hope he doesnt read this. just thought about that. but i think im going to talk to him about it. ive thought that for like the past week and a half and still havent done it. that is so like me. but enough with him. more about me. today i got to get out of 5th period because i got my hair braided by one of the cosmo girls. it hurt a lot. a really really lot. but it looks really good and i had a lot of pple talking about me today. thats a rule i live by. when everyone is talking about you thats when you should be happy. its when they arent talking about you that you need to worry. oh my gay i saw the greatest movie of all times. it was "diary of a sociopathic social climber" its so reminded me of my self which youd understand if you knew me or if you payed attention to a couple of lines earlier.but yea i think im going to go. if i find anything else to write then ill be back soon. ill be writing more now that i have some free time coming up. later days to everyone.
David | | |
| part two
hey yals. whats cracka lacking.ok we all know i need to stop that now. but any who. i am emotionally distrested. ok i had a dream today while i was taking my nap and i had to talk to someone the second i woke up from it. ok it started out at a friends house we were all just hanging out. it was me and like 10 of my girlfriends. we were all doing the girl thing.well then my ex comes over. and well theres a story behind that and ill explain it to you after i go over the dream. well he came over and was hanging out and i didnt want to be fucked up and make him leave cuz im not that kind of person. hahahahaha. anywho i went upstairs for a minuter and came down looking all evil thinking he would see. but no one was there so i went to find them. and i find them. there in the bathroom doing the girl thing and i look over to him and he was naked taking a shower. mind you my ex isnt my favorite person so seeing him naked is kind of a shock in a dream of mind. i mean i never had dreams about matt. it was always with the cable guy or the water guy or the electrician guy. NOT MATT. well the next thing i know im half naked making out with him in the shower. and then i woke up all confused and boggled. yea.
part one
now for why i hate him. ok we wre dating for like two month that were pretty good but then he asks me if me and him and one of his friends could do some 3 some thing and i was like excuise me. im mean we hadnt really even done anything yet and he wanted some 3some shit. well i kinda maybe just over reacted and couldnt really talk to him for like 2-3days to a week. and then i sat him down and talked with him and we sorted all that out. well then i find out that a day i had to miss school that some bitch girl had given him a bite make that kinda resembled a hicky. and then i blew up on him. well then i suggested we take a time out. not a full breakup but just a little space. well he desides he wants someone esle and goes and dates this freshmen fucker that im so much better then and i went on one of my rampages and almost had some friends kick his ass but i called it off. and now there broken up which makes me happy cuz the guy matt was dating was cheating on him the whole time they dated. god that made me feel good. and i was good not seeing him but lately hes been coming around and i walk off singing a song about shooting him in the back with a harpoon.a ittle on the crazy side i know but thats just me. ok now that you know my lifes story kinda i gotta go. i have to type a repot. later days.
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| im really fucking tired of having to deal with this bullshit i have to call a life. right now i want nothing more to do then to just break down and cry. its like my whole world is falling apart and i have no control over it. and im tired of having to wake up every morning to have to put on a mask. no one really knows what im like outside of hanging out. no one know how i constantly want to cry and cant becuz then people will know im weak. i cant be weak. its not in my nature. but i cant help but to be right now. and there are so many thing going through my head it isnt even funny. mikes one of the biggest things on my mind right now. he loves to play with me. he'll flirt with me and then just leave. and another thing is just wanting to pick up and leave. to just walk away from this life and never return. i also really want to cut myself right now. im trying not to think about it though. but its not really working. theres no one i can talk to right now so thats why im righting. maybe this will make me feel better. my mom and her husband are also fucking with my head. they knew all i wanted to do this summer is go to summer school so i wouldnt have to take 9 classes next year but they guilted me into going on a trip. and they just had to plan the trip so that it messed up my plan for summer school. im listening to emo music right now so that isnt helping my emotions. i dont know. but whatever. later | | |
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