therockstar's Xanga

The obverse, obscure, and the obstruction

Thu, 15 Mar 2007 11:28:23 GMT

Really can't turn back now after so long -- back to where? Back to front. You and me
we've grown up in a straight line like walking up a city street never looking into the alleyways. After reaching the end of a street, who can't turn the corner and walk some more, and more around other corners and afterwards who finds their way back?

What can anybody believe in that someone had not first pretended, and afterwards didn't leave the faithful disillusioned and the faithless with dulled regret?

What can I say to a girl carelessly beautiful and spartan with affection that could make her stay, head thrown back and hair undulating as I kiss the salt off her neck? A thousand ways to break a heart in this country.

Metal bowl

Tue, 06 Mar 2007 17:36:54 GMT

The silence lies underneath the river and
makes her curious. I am telling her about good,
about the possible and mysterious and it
is an endless song.

From here to end of the hallway is
an empty space that says: 'feed me'. The heart
it lies, reclining in the foyer spitting cherry pips
into a metal bowl.

A sound comes from inside the city and it
is a low drone, the sound of wealth and company.

I forgot to tell the truth

Wed, 12 Apr 2006 06:17:07 GMT

When did we all become so scared? And, when did I stop listening?

Let me open the window and let you in

Wed, 05 Apr 2006 08:35:07 GMT

And now begins the mundane archival of my life, a bloody mess distilled into a tangy syrup. What's your flavor? Tell me what's your flavor. Alas, I've lost all sense of smell and taste, and everything you say I will fling it at the wall. There it goes out the window.

Tonight it is quiet and the street below is still and filled with fog. I can think and the thoughts will stay in this room. Please let me talk; listen to the words and discard their meanings so that they become just sounds, empty shells of a broken story. Now fill them with your own so that you know nothing more than what you already had.

Friday, March 31, 2006

Fri, 31 Mar 2006 05:54:57 GMT

And now, I'm lost.

Friday, November 25, 2005

Fri, 25 Nov 2005 13:42:38 GMT

Forget me world since I'm gone now. Confusion grows in my mind, and shadows creep higher. Now my head is low to hide my face. Across the street the park is busy. At midday I will stroll through it and sit on the grass and say, 'thank you for your patience, Australia.' My foot drags through your soil, but will leap clear from your borders.

Then I will forget you too. Somebody plays a song you sing. Your voice is colorful but I am blind. My name is written underneath a rock in your garden. It is broken to pieces to plant a new tree. Now my window is silent. A knock on the glass and a turn on the handle, but I don't want to see who it is. The woman in whom I delight, find me and tell me your name.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Sun, 26 Jun 2005 13:34:57 GMT

Sometimes I think Heaven is a circle. We live on the outside and God lives on the inside. Heaven has gates, and at each is a church. Here, we hold a service, sing songs, and preach our sermons. We preach about God and faith and sometimes other things. Sometimes we preach so earnestly that one of us walks through the gate and into heaven. We want to see God. We want to be saved. We want to believe.

If heaven is a circle then God is at the center. Some of us are still standing at heaven's gates, and every week we want to walk out and away. But, has anyone though of just walking further inside? We may have to leave the gate to get to the center. I wonder what we'll find.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Wed, 18 May 2005 23:46:01 GMT

Things I Look Forward To In The Next 5 Years

going to NY after Christmas
finally crossing the Pacific for something
graduating
being invited back for honors
or not
starting my career in systems
finding out I don't really want a career systems
throwing myself back into music
our songs have airplay on national radio
celebrating!
our songs play on international radio
finding out the music industry is actualy pretty seedy
going back to uni
creating a program that demonstrates cognitive capabilities equal to humans
start thesis that explains the program is an actual mind
giving up
talked back into it by my program that is actually a mind
program is bought over by a bionics company
spawns race of intelligent robots
education becomes free
end of all prejudice
making all this fit into the span of 5 years

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Sun, 15 May 2005 22:26:04 GMT

All my time lately has been put into finishing the prototype for a service booking system. Think of taxi cabs: someone makes a call, a taxi goes to pick them up. But this system is meant to be for any type of service that has bookings and deliveries. Typed out a few pages last night and threw in some screen captures for a wild ride. That's about as wild as technical documents get.

The bag of Lavazza is down to half; since we discovered the percolator at the back of the cabinet, there's always a pot brewing. But, it's too acidic and I'm already back on chamomile.

I have some plans tonight. But, I'm not sure what to expect. Have to make it to Clayton which is further than I'd like to travel. All the way there for some induction ceremony. Maybe it'll turn out good.

More later.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Sun, 08 May 2005 22:12:19 GMT

If nothing else
I am someone to myself