Well Xangas BEAT. Myspace is better but thats kinda lame too. I dunno what to say anymore. Kinda fed up with everything now adayz. I will write in here whenever I have something to say.

I love you Lauren

Well its me again, I dont write in here anymore really. I dont know why, well I do bc no one reads it. lol. Well I dont know what to say. Ill be 18 on the 5th. I am getting old on yall. Not mutch diff. going on for me practically the same things going on for me everyday. Get up at 6:40 get ready leave. Come home talk to Lauren go to sleep an do it all over. Every other weekend Lauren comes over for the weekend, an on the odd dayz I go over there to see her one day. We dont spend as mutch time togather anymore. Now soon that is about to change. Hm, 18 what can you do at 18 you cant do anyother time. Nuthing but go into porn places an pipe shops an but cigs. Well only thing gonna make me happy is buy cigs. An I dont even want to buy them I wanna quit.

Today, I had off. I didnt really do nuthing but read all my old Xanga entries an Laurens Xanga entries. We started talking on like on june 21. Then we acually met each other on sept. 18 then we went out on the 19. I saw all the things I promised an said I would do if she would go out with me. Huh. I lied but its a mistake. I dont wanna fight with Lauren. I dont want to make her cry. I promised she would always be happy with me, I promissed we wouldnt fight, an I wouldnt hurt her. But I did all them things. I dunno what I saw is gonna change me. What she said about me. How she felt. How she stood up for me. how she fought for me alot. She thinks she is a bad g/f but she isnt. I am the bad one.

Lauren, start by saying I am srry. An I love you to death. You are my life. Without you I dont know what I would do. You are all I got an all I want. I plane on being with you forever like we planned somtimes shit just happens. I dont always mean what I say. But when I say I love you I really mean it. It comes out of the bottom of my heart. Your my little angel an always will be. I plan on keppen you forever. I dont want anyone else to ever have you. If I could take all the fights an all the arguments back I would. IF I could do things diff. I would change alot. But overall Our time we spend togather is great. When we arnt togather is when we have our problems. But i guess that is part of the terms we both agreed to when coming into this realationship. I dont have a problem with that. But its hard to agree with the terms when you love someone so mutch more then you ever thought was even possible. You make me breath. You make me see so mutch clearly then I used to. You make my life worth living. I havent been depressed as mutch. I havent been so neg. I have only loved you an only you. I never looked at a girl like I look at you since sept. 19 An I never will again. Without you my heart would turn black my soul would die. An my body would crumble. Stay with me dont ever think of not being with me. See what I see. Help me be what I wanna be. Help me when I need you. I will help you. I will try not to over react or get mad at you for dumb shit if you will help me when I need you. Well you asked for a long entrie so I give you one ur the only one who reads this anyway. An really I dont care what people think about me. I am in love, an untill they feel that. They wont understand. Fuck what they think. They will say I am pussy wipped. Its like FUCK YOU ITS MORE THEN PUSSY WIPPED. I hate that shit. Your long an fall in love with someone guys are like ur pussy wipped. Its like fuck you mind ur own asshole. lol Well I am out my hands hurt from typing so mutch

Peace out

I LOVE YOU BABY

Mike

Home before I am on normal dayz. Not mutch is happening. I miss Lauren. The winterball is a day before my birthday Laurens birthday is next week. Mine is next sunday Ill be 18 an she will be 17 whoa. Im getting old. Well I am Changen my Xanga around some so I will type in here some other time

Peace

I Love You Lauren

Well I am gonna put some pics on here...

I never noticed our eyes are like the same... ahh you can see my hicky oh well

Aww so pretty

Awww... I love her ahh my middle name oh well gotta live with it

OMG, Isnt she so HOTT, lol. Well There is a Entry below these pics an I guess I will keep up on Xanga. If you didnt check out my myspace at .... http://www.myspace.com/XDesolateXdreamZ

Peace

Love ya lauren

Me(mike)

Well, Alot happend since I last wrote in here. Kinda beat stuff other then New Years I spent with my baby... We got into a fight last night but I think we are okay now. I was testing her to see how far she would go. I pushed it to far... I am srry baby I love you.

Other then that... Its been kinda beat my birthday is coming up. Feb. 5 an My real Dad gets out of jail the 9th witch is monday. So I really dont know whats going on with that. If I am gonna see him. Or if he is gonna try to contact me this time.

Ehh... Lauren... start by saying I love you an thanks for being there when my parents arguen night before new years it means alot. An I wish you could be with me everytime they fight like almost everyday. But, I know you cant. I am srry about Last night I feel like shit honestly. There is no other girl, I wasnt using you, an I didnt mean for that to happen. I tested u to far an you took it to heart. I wont try that shit anymore. I need you baby, An I love you with all my heart, An I know how mutch you really love me now. I dunno how its possible to love someone as mutch as we love each other. But who really cares we do. An I hope it never changes. You said you never cryed over a guy, Well I am srry you cry for me alot. I honestly dont/ never wanted you to get hurt anytime. You are my life/world/princess. I love you...

Igght guys well this is kinda boring I am going to Laurens tomorrow bc Laurens mom wouldnt let her stay over this weekend bc she wanted her home for a week. It blows, nuthing to do Lonely an lame. But I am gonna go watch TV an then go to sleep...

Peace

I LOVE YOU LAUREN

Mike