All for love a Father gave, for only love could make a way.

All for love the Heavens’ cried, for love was crucified.

Oh how many times have I broken Your heart?

But still You forgive, if only I ask

Oh how many times have You heard me pray; draw near to me?

Everything I need, is You

My beginning, my forever

Everything I need, is You

Let me sing all for love, I will join the angels’ song

Ever Holy is the Lord. King of Glory, King of all

Oh how many times have I broken Your heart?

But still You forgive, if only I ask.

Oh how many times have You heard me pray, draw near to me?

Everything I need, is You

My beginning, my forever

Everything I need, is You

All for love, a Savior prayed.

“Abba Father, have Your way. & though they know not what they do, let the cross draw men to You”

I really do not understand why, whenever I'm depressed or just emotionally not right, I tend to make decisions I will eventually regret, or, I will tend to have short-term-memory. It's like as though, I'm no longer myself. I really need help in that area. I just don't know what to do, I know i've been escaping from the problem. But I really don't see what else I can to salvage this relationship. It's not that it's the end or anything. But, I really feel very hurt, hearing things from you. I cried alone, without anyone knowing, I didn't want anyone to know what happened. Nobody knows, until now. I'm not ready to talk about it yet. But, I know I can't keep letting this continue, I have to do something about it.

The pain and hurt in my heart, is really beyond description. I can continue crying and crying until my eyes pop out, and the whole problems keeps rewinding in my mind and keeps replaying like a broken record. I really want it out of my brain, I want to stop thinking about it. I feel like I'm losing control of things, I feel like I'm beginning to weaken down. I feel like I'm the worst person on earth. I'm really breaking down.

Sometimes, I don't wanna come back, because I don't want to see your face. The thought about having more quarrels and misunderstandings just gets me irritated. Why can't you see that everything I do, is because you're my first priority and that because I love you? Why can't you see that I will not allow any harm to come to you, that no matter what happens to you in the future or present, I'll always be there for you. I'll be the first to run to your rescue. And haven't I proven this love for you many times before? I am willing to do anything, just to keep you safe.

But instead, I'm just a busybody, a backstabber, a hypocrite, a betrayal, and someone that doesn't keep to their promises.

You will never understand how hurt I'm feeling right now. Someone please talk to me! Help me!

Oh my soul, do you not know?

Have you not heard?

It been told from the beginning

The Lord your God is on your side

Oh my soul, don be afraid. Hope in the Lord

By His righteousness and power, He will strengthen, He will guide

And I will soar, on wings like eagles

Held by the hand of God

I will run and not grow tired

When on His name I call

For the Lord is never weary, His ways are beyond my thoughts

I will trust in Him, with all my heart

And I will rest upon His promise

Patiently Il wait

I will trust in Him

With all my heart

And I will rest upon His promise, patiently Il wait

All that I am, all that I have

I lay them down before you, Oh Lord

All my regrets, and all my acclaim

The joy and the pain, I  making them Yours

Lord I offer my life to You

Everything Ie been through

Use it for your glory

Lord I offer my days to You

Lifting my praise to You

As a pleasing sacrifice

Lord I offer You my life

Things in the past, things yet unseen

Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true

All of my hopes, all of my pains

My heart and my hands are lifted to You

What can we give, that You have not given?

And what do we have, that is not already Yours?

All we possess are these lives wee living

And that what we give to You Lord

These two songs from Don Moen, first song: Like Eagles,

Second Song: I offer my Life

It some what how I feeling now. A lot of memories have been haunting me again recently. Memories that I really do not want to be reminded of. Memories that make me so ashamed of myself. Had a nightmare two nights ago, and it really scared me. Though I not haunted by it now, but I know that that night I woke up breathless. Ie never woken up breathless before. I wanted to cry, but I knew that it was just a dream. But it seemed so real, and everything was so realistic. I don know why I keep having these spiritual dreams. It not the first time, but 2^nd time that I dreamt almost the same thing.

Somehow, this world is beginning to frighten me. So much Ie been seeing in the outside world. How sinning is so so so subtle. Sometimes, you may be sinning but youe not even aware of it. It scary in a way, how you fall into Satan trap. People keep gossiping, like it would kill to keep their mouths shut. I glad God is protecting me from all these gossiping.

Il keep holding on to the promise that He has given to me, being the first born, I have a role to play and a responsibility to take charge of. Il hold on to that promise and never let it go.

Never doubt, the power of a Father Love.