Moving = Emotions

Hey, very few Xanga friends...

I'm packing for a move. I keep coming across things that I've kept in previous moves, things that haven't seen the light of day since my last move. There's no rhyme or reason as to why I've kept these things - they aren't attached to any one thing or person - they just sort of signify precious parts of my life, or at least things that were precious to me at one point in time or another. I'm actually choosing to throw most of these things out this time around.

I'm not a kid. I'm not a college student. I'm not even a graduate student. I'm an adult that's struggling to figure out who she is in relation to who she was and who she wants to become (oops...that's three different verb tenses in one sentence - that can't be correct!). I'm an adult that's semi-unemployed and hosteling at a friend's place until my sister can buy a house for the two of us to call home. It's hard to move on with my life and live in a place that looks and feels like an adult lives there when 3/4 of my life is about to live in a garage for a month.

At what point in time do we stop "growing up" and just live?? I'm a fan of consistency, and the only thing constant about my life is that it's sure to be overrun by cycles and changes.

Done.

After the past few weeks, I kind of feel a little bit on top of the world. Here's what's gone down.

• I ran a marathon.
• I completed all of my graduate work.
• I received (and turned down) my first real job offer.
• I made the tough (but good) decision to stay in Norman for the time being.
• I finished teaching my first class.
• I graduated. According to the University of Oklahoma, I am a Master of Education.

It all seems a bit surreal. It was just a few short days ago that I was burning up on the SWOSU football field, wanting to eat my "diploma" and trying to figure out how I was going to get everything I owned into my parents' van. I moved to Norman and somehow managed to fit in here. Despite the trouble I had during the first few months, missing everyone and having trouble adjusting to a new spot....Norman managed to work its way into my heart in the past few months. I'm not ready to leave the community that I've found here - so I'm staying.

In my reflection during the past few days, I've really begun to find much worth in the degree that I've received. I studied how adults learn and how colleges run. I have a new appreciation for the discipline of lifelong learning. The commercialization of education now makes me cringe. I may sound pompous when I say things like that, but I don't mean to. I just can't go back to viewing college the way that I did when I graduated two years ago. Maybe that's the sign of a good education - a change in how you view things. Well done, OU....well done.

My legs are angry.

Well, it was cold. And rainy. And windy. The morning started out at about 45 degrees and I'll bet it was about 55 by the time I finished awhile later. It was raining lightly from when we arrived at 5:45 till probably 7:15. The wind never stopped - but it was worse around Hefner and in areas that did not involve, you know, houses and tress to block it.

I did well! I finished in 4:31:28, a full half-hour faster than the goal that I set for myself. I knew that I had it in me to finish at 4:30 or 4:45, if everything was perfect. Imagine my surprise when I realized that I was going to do so well! I am very pleased with my time.

Ultimately, I had a great day. I am not the competitor that I used to be. I don't think of it as a race...it's a group effort. Everyone wanted everyone else to do well. The spectators were fabulous. The day would have been much harder without their support. If you've never been out, you should go next year. The atmosphere is contagious. In all honesty, I think that I like running. I know that I love raceday. I know that I love the people within the running culture.

Even though it was grueling yesterday and I'm having some serious issues walking today, it's not that bad. It's a small price to pay for the sense of accomplishment that I feel. It's a great feeling.

If you happen to have a an extra five seconds...

Please pray for good weather on Sunday morning.

I don't want to stand in 45 degree windy rain, much less run 26.2 miles in 45 degree windy rain.

Alright, Lord. The desires of my heart are: high of 73, 10 mph N winds, no rain. Oh, and please let the morning start out at a balmy 60 degrees at 6:00a. Please.

So....I'm white.

Tonight, I attended portions of two events on campus. They started at the same time, but they were only across the street from each other - so I left one early and arrived at the other a bit late.

Event #1 - University Gospel Choir Concert
I never cease to be amazed at how happy and engaged I am at gospel shows. I sat in my chair, itching to stand up and dance, but resorting to smiling a huge smile and doing some serious foot-tapping. I realized a few weeks ago that I usually don't engage in contemporary happy praise songs...but apparently gospel does the trick! I love it when singing about Jesus makes people happy.

Event #2 - African Christian Fellowship Night of Praise
I went to this event not knowing what to expect. My friend and I caught the last 20 minutes of contemporary worship, a solo, and the first 20 minutes of African worship. The people there - they were so comfortable in their own skin. Most were singing and dancing. No one was standing still. They sang in different languages. For a few moments, I left the states. It was so cool.

Tonight's Lesson
I'm white. Even after multiple classes/books/training sessions about diversity, I still get a little annoyed that I am white. Of everyone at these events, there were probably 10 white people out of about 150. These events were cultural - the practices hold value to African/African American people. It was a joy to be a part of them, but it just drove home how boring it is being white. I do know that having a different culture comes with a ridiculous amount of hardship, so I'm glad that culture can be celebrated as it is. God bless our differences!