yea its friday

i didnt get to go to the mall cuz my dad is a loser hardcore

i miss him terribly.

i cried

my whole weekend is ruined now..

im going to the tattoo parlor tomorrow and i dont know if it will help at all..

i wanna make a cd really bad and my burner is broke

two of my friends got into a fight today and one got taken away in cuffs.. i hope he doesnt get suspended.. english wont be the same with out him

im listening to music and yea its not helping

i dont really wanna be home right now

im going to bed now.. i hate almost everyone

~STephanie~

p.s.  i need a cigg really really bad and like always i have none!

yea uh huh its monday......

my weekend suckked thanx to him!

today sucked also.. tha fake smile fooled most i think.....

amanda came overr after school and so did kristin! and then steve too!! yay!

im uploading pix for janessa

i want to cry

its dark outside

my room is going to be freezing cuz yea i left my windows open and i dont feel like going to close them

i have absolutely no ciggs..... grrrrr!!!!!!

and yea im done rambling for now!

~STephanie~

im sickly..... im tired...... im bored...... im lonely...... i have no ciggs.......... im depressed........ yea i think that about sums it all up for ya.....

i skipped first period... oops!

mrs fitz wasnt here for 2-4a

4b was lunch

5-7 was feild day... it wasnt that great.. nope... but its better than being in english, gym, and math

8 was okay cuz yea mrs vaksman didnt have us really do anything....

i came home and i went to bed and that is where i am going right now.. od on nyquil and sleep..... that sounds super!

~STephanie~

wow hey.. i havent had xanga in forever this is so great....yea my name is stephanie and im 15... im turning 16 on march 22.. yay.. uhmm yea i dont really know what to say right now..... my nose is all bleh and i have to sit up with heather untill my father come home at least.. she has a massive ear infection adnd shes in a lot of pain... im way to motherly to let her sit in pain by herself.. she is asleep now so yea im on the computer...

yea today was not fun at all.. first ui got upp like really late.. like 2... and then i had to bake a cake for my cuzn sydney she turned 14!! happy bday syd i love you!!! and then i helped her with some shit on her myspace and yea.. then i went to her house and we made dinner with leslee(her mom.. she is just baout the most important person in the world to me right now) yea then we ate it was me, my 2 sisters jen and heather, jens bf mike, my uncle dennis, sydney. my other cuzn(sydneys sister) madison, leslee, and madisons friend tiffany.. then we cleaned up and leslee made a fire and me and madison sat by the fire for a while and then we sang hapopy bday and had the cake yea i know its corny but oh well its my family and it was great.. that wasnt the bad part... then we started to talk about the stuff i wanted to do for my sweet 16.. that was fun too... heather outlined the room and we rote down all the favors and giveaways and all the dj stuff.....then we got into talking about me and my father and how shit is going in my house.. not good.... not good at all.....yea so pretty much i may be going to stay with leslee for a while cuz living situations in my hoiuse just arent going well and ill leave it there... anyone who knows me already knows and neone who doesnt know doesnt need to.... and we talked about how all my mother would want is t be here and take care of me and my sisters... and leslee was talking about how we got robbed by my mother dying especially me cuz i had just turned 13 2 months b4 she died and i celebrated my 13th bday witha sick mother....and i started crying and it was terrible.. i almost never actaully break down and cry in front of people.. i dont like it.. i dont like to show that i actually have weaknesses.. im like my mother.. i have to be strong for everyone else.. nothing is rong.. il be okay.. thats all i ever say.. and now my uncle dennis is like you have to go and talk to someone ive never seen you break down like this.. thats just the thing i would rather talk to my friends i dont want to talk to someone i dont know.. that wont help me i dont really likme ppl i dont know... especiually adults i dont know..... i just damn i want everything to go away.. i mean its like 3 in the morning and i cant think of anything everytrhing is just like wow...... i love leslee and sydney and madison more than anything but right now i really didnt need to deal with this.. i really didnt....

well i dont really have much more to say right now... nothing good can ever happen..... it all just turns bad...

~STephanie~