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this_ill_never_regret
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Name: *aNDrEa
Birthday: 2/13/1989
Gender: Female
Interests: *bEinG WiTh tHE <3 LuV <3 oF My LiFe... ((JoNaThAn))...*sTaRtInG oUr nEw FaMiLy*... LuViNg My LiTTle LiLeIgh*
Expertise: *!*BeIng ThE BeSt DaR-GoNe mOm i CaN bE*!*
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*!*BeInG MaDlY iN LuV WiTh My jONNy*!*
Occupation: Student
Industry: Legal
Message: message me
MSN: jonnys_princess
MSN: andrea_lee16
Yahoo:  xminormisfortunex
Member Since:
1/14/2005
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| Well not too much has been goin on lately. Me and Lileigh went to my managers daughters birthday party today. It was okay I guess. I had to chase her everywhere though. lol. Lileighs gettin so damn big I swear! It was funny because the other day we were outside playin and we were sittin in the grass and I went "Lileigh say grass" and she goes "ASS!!!!"  lol. I know its terrible she said that cause its a bad word but she was trying to say grass so I thought it was cute. lol. She's doin real good though!
Work sucks. A couple weeks ago some trashy ass guy yell in my face. lol. I swear I was about 5 seconds away from punchin him right in the mouth. but of course we all know I cant afford to lose my lovely job. I wrote a letter to the Judge and I am trying to get emmacipated........but yeah I havent sent it yet because I am scared about what his responce will be. I dont know....I just wish I was 1 year older. I thinking of sending it soon though because I need it more than anything. I just wish people understood.
Sometimes I just feel like the whole world is on my shoulders. I have to get tested for Fibro Mialgi on the 5th. Its this like thing that you get in your joints/muscles and anyways... sometimes when like I sit/lay down I cant seriously get up. Like in runs really bad in my family. I dont know mom said it could cripple me....yeah I dont need that. Hell I am all messed up! lol.
Hell I dont know anymore.........things feel like they're slowly falling to peices.... | | |
| I feel like Im trapped-
I dont know why things just cant go smoothly in my life. Everything I try to get done has to have like a freakin "road blocked" sign in front of it I swear. I made a whompin $17.00 today!!! And then when I went on vacation I drew $650.00 out of the bank and my vacation pay is only $146.00---are you freakin serious!!!! This is the way that I see it... JONATHAN NEEDS A REAL JOB!!! I cant keep supporting me lileigh and him working 6 days a week for $2.38 a freakin hour because nobody seems to understand how to freakin tip. I just picked up more hours so now heres my sceduale...
monday: 11-5
tuesday: 11-5
wednesday: 11-4
thursday: 11-5
friday: 11-5
saturday: 7-3
sunday: OFF FINALLY!
My sceduale never changes but I just cant afford it anymore so instead of working 11-4 on saturdays im now at 7-3. I know that when jonathan gets out of college he'll have a better job but I have been busting my ass for over a year now trying to make ends meet... and no one seems to see that. We are so not getting along right now anyways... okay I needs some space because I can barely stand to be around him anymore. We hardly get along and Im sick of it. The other day Lileigh had 3 loads of laundry...I needed to get the house cleaned up... and everything else... whats he do....sits on the damn couch!!!!! Thats bullshit. He wonders why I bitch... hmm I dont know hunny why dont you spend a week in my shoes! I told him like 4 days ago that I dont want him here no more and that he should leave for a few days.....and of course he didnt go anywhere. He thinks that everythings like before-well hello it aint! Im sick of this shit. I just need a break I guess... or somethin.
Lileigh has been so cranky lately, because shes getting her 1 year old molars. Yeah thats gotta suck for her. I got her some baby oragel. Shes taking a nap right now. Man shes somethin else. She says the cutest things sometimes... like earlier I was upset and she gave me the cutest - serious look then goes.."daddy".... lol I was like yep its daddys fault. lol.
Moms boyfriend is still in the hospital in CCU. He's not improving much which is putting alot of stress on mom.
welp lileigh just woke up............ | | |
| My vacation is over... I started back to work today But thats okay cause I need the money.
The concert was unbelievable!!!!!! While we were sitting in our seats some lady came up to us and gave us these wristbands... well we didnt know exactly what they were for because Sugarland was singing at the time and we couldnt here what she said. A few minutes later we found somebody to tell us what they were and you are never going to believe this.....THEY WERE PASSES TO GO CLEAR UP TO THE FRONT STAGE!!!!! We couldnt beleive it!!! I mean we were so freakin lucky! So in other words Kenny Chesney was not even 2 feet in front of me! I could've died right then!! Its about time some kinda luck actually came my way! lol. PLUS..... While Deirks Bentley was on stage me and amanda gave him our hats and he really signed them!!!!!! (even though it kinda looks like he wrote Peter!) lol. And of course Kenny Chesney sung "There Goes My Life"..... and I stood there and started cryin.... that's been my song since I found out I was pregnant! lol. I guess it's just different hearing it when I dont have Lileigh to sing it too. It was so amazing actually being there though I mean I still cant beleive I got up to the stage!!! damn we were lucky!
Me, Lileigh and Jonathan got to spend alot of time together. Which was great seeing how its not often that we are all together for that long. She was in her world...and so was I! Jonathan's birthday was Saturday... Lets just put it this way... my vacation pay couldnt come close to the money I drew outta the bank!lol. But he got pretty much everything he wanted and then some so if hes happy then i am too. God I love him.... I know we have gone threw so much hell together and I honestly think day by day its bringing us closer.
And of course as always where theres good... theres always bad.
Yesterday my moms boyfriend went into a seizere and had a heart attack. He's in the Critical Care Unit at Good Sam and hes going to be for a while. He's got a lot of medical issues. I feel so freaking bad for him right now and heres why...he's the best one moms ever had, he dont have health insurance, hes a truck driver who just got fired because he's in the hospital....AND HE AINT EVEN FREAKING CONSICIOUS! I am so upset because of this.... Its always the good ones....
andi | | |
| Well I have finally decided to take my vacation! I get this whole week off... yay. Unfortunatly Im not leaving the state or anything but I getta spend the whole week with my little angel. And of course see Kenny Chesney Thursday!!! Much fun. I need a break from work....deffinatly.
Last night was awful. Jonathan went and did somthing that I specifically asked him not to do. I was really upset about it because I feel like I get no respect for everything I have done for us and Lileigh. For him to do that was just really disrespectful... so anyways we argued about it and it ended up in a fight. Lileigh was asleep and he left to take Jess to her boyfriends house...... I was so upset at the time I decided to sit alone in the kitchen and clear my head with my long lost friendly bottle of Tequila. Yeah I know its not a good way to "feel better" about things, but I needed some kind of stress releiver. So I ended up crying about everything.... he came home acting like nothing had ever happened. And I went to bed. He woke me up at 2 o'clock this morning we got in another fight and lets just say I wish I would've physically defended myself. I cant take it no more.
I'm sick of feeling like a door mat. I'm done with all the bullshit. I'm sick of only being here because of Lil. I was a basterd all my life... and I dont want that for her... but I would rather go threw that then waste the rest of my life being unhappy... because then she wont be happy. What do I do? I'm 17, a mother, I have no rights to myself, I cant just run away from my problems like I used to....Im stuck with this and I am physically-emotionally-and-mentally exausted. what do I do??? I have no clue I ask myself that everyday..... | | |
| Gotta work 8am-3pm tomorrow...mmmBuddyWater break yesterday, now were have to serve everything on paper or plastic...pisses me off.
Sunday I am FINALLY going to get Lileigh's birthday pictures taken! Damn I just havent had the extra time. I mean come on... her birthday was in frickin January... yeah good one andrea.
Lileighs gettin so big! The doctors office told us to start her on Vitamin D milk because she needs to put on some pounds... and I think its paying off! She is 14 months and only weighs 19lbs! But when I was a baby I guess I was the same weigh. I mean sheesh... she's constantly saying nummy nummy... and of course she gets it! lol
As for me and Jonny, well lets just say were hangin in there. Theres just so much stress... its unbearable sometimes.
She could've cried but she didnt have time
She had a baby to feed
A pink blanket to find
To rock their little one to sleep
She couldve lay in bed for hours
Giving misery the power
....but she didnt have time.... | | |
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