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| heey girls
today has been pretty bad i guess..but i say every day is bad so who knows ha
um..had to go to mcdonalds for lunch and i got one of those fruit & walnut salads, but i didn't eat the walnuts or the yogurt. so the apple is supposedly 100 cals.
later i had a little more apple, probably 1/5 of one
had a few bites of this low cal popsicle, but threw it away, probably about 10 cals.
played "tennis" for a while with the kids i babysit, but it wasnt exactly hard hah
did 15 minutes pilates
i'll do cardio later tonight.
cw is the same
shit i need to go! ill comment you all back later xoxo &hearts &hearts
((days without b/p: 4  )
oh yea and sorry about the "does tanning burn calories" question. that was probably the stupidest thing i have ever asked. most likely has to do with the fact that i was pretty high when i wrote that (i had just gotten back from a concert) i'm really suprised i wrote it so well considering i dont remember writing it!
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| holy shit. figs have a fuckload of calories. afdkidf
so today: 4 figs, 1 greek salad with oil and vinnegar dressing (had to eat out), 1 small bite tapioca pudding, 1 peach. thats at least 500 fucking calories. -slaps self-
ugh. today was horrible. i was 106 this morning and now i'm 107 again. i went to this concert with my friend and random people just stop her her and tells her how hot she is. EVERYONE. and just completely overlook me, it's like i don't exist to them.
now that is "thinspiration", hah.
wow. i havent worked out at all today. i am completely whiped out, but i havent done ANYHTING. digusting.
at least i avoided a HUGE b/p. i had out a peice of pizza, cereal, pudding, and a granola bar all set up to binge on, and i just stood there for like 20 minutes before deciding to put it all back. phew.
but im still fat. and haven't excersised today. i'll just do this pilates video i just rented from the library i guess.
oh yea question..does tanning burn cals? because you sweat so much after a while youd think it would.. | | |
| hey loves! i neglected the xanga for a while but im back!
the last few weeks have had huge ups and downs..got horribly sucked into b/p for about a week and then started purging blood every time..so i somehow managed to get myself out of that horrible cycle agan- 2 days without purging! (thank god)
i guess you could say things are good now..considering i can't stand to even look at food.
once i'm forced eat it, i'm sucked into eating more, but otherwise just the sight or smell of food makes me sick. blah.
yesterday..went out to eat with people, had about 1 pita with hummus, and later about a handfull of popcorn. NEEDED to purge, but i couldn't- there were too many people and the space was too small- you could hear everything.
today.. i had 4 cups of coffee with a tiny bit of skim milk and shitloads of splenda.
there's no way splenda is as heavenly as i think it is..i bet it's acutally horribly fattening.
i feel so guilty after having it but ugh oh well. skim milk i don't even count because i use so little. and its calcium that i need so fuck it.
excersise is going well too.
well i hope everyone's doing okay!
leave some love!
&hearts &hearts
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| first 3 days were good. i pretty much did everything i wanted to do.
but day 4 went so fucking wrong.
i had a healthy spring roll so i would have enough energy to do a good workout, but then i couldnt stop.
yesterday i had:
-spring roll
-luna bar (180 cals)
-cliff bar (250 cals)
-nuts
-peach
-biiig burrito (black beans, meat, avocado, etc)
-some chinese food
-3 sugar cookies (big ones)
-1/2 small bowl granola
i know. makes you want to puke doesnt it? believe me i tried- at every public restroom we stopped in.
at every single one, someone would come in right as i was about to purge.
i haven't eaten that badly since...god i can't even remember ever eating that badly.
the scale says i gained 3 pounds. that can't even be possible...
i am so bloated and my stomach is fucking HUGE
worst part is i have a date tonight. we'll go in a hot tub. swim suit=disghusting. absolutely fucking hideous.
is it possible to get rid of the after binge bloating?
i dont think so..any tips?
oh yea and im starting my fast over again ha | | |
| day 3..
haven't eaten anything but an egg white and 4 grapes since sunday night, but considering i have eaten those things im feeling a lot shittier than i should be feeling!
i feel so weak and i get head rushes (like almost black-out head rushes) every time i stand up.
oh well i lost another pound!
it feels good to be losing again..
well i have nothing to say really..i'm way too out of it i dont know whats wrong with me!
i love you girls take care &hearts &hearts | | |
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