oh drag.
what if i'd never decided to go to the school i'm going to...or the school i went to before that. my mama would not have the job she has now and we would have saved a lot of money. what if i'd been homeschooled? i would've travelled a lot more and i probably wouldn't live here anymore. i wouldn't have any of the friends that i have now, either. what if my mama and dad hadn't gotten divorced? what if my mama and dad had never met? what if...what if...what if gutenberg hadn't invented the printing press? what if...shakespeare had died when he was little?
that right there is called...the what if game. i play it more often than i should. but you should really try it.
it's humbling...and it keeps you busy for hours.
my grandma died about a month ago. i knew her, but she lived in colorado so i didn't see her that much. but anyway. she died. and so everyone was deciding if they wanted anything that she had. as a...memory...or something. i got offered some stuff. most of which was stuff i would never need ever.
like her violet wicker bedroom set.
...but i wanted something to remember her by. (not that i wouldn't remember her without something material and inevitably meaningless.) i just wanted something little and sweet...something that wasn't necessarily useful or practical. just something...nice. so i tried to think up some memories and all i could think of was this: whenever i went to colorado to see her i always sat down on her couch in her living room. she always had the television on and it was usually playing 'golden girls.' and on the table behind the couch there was one of those little coaster things that are filled with some kind of colored liquid that changes colors when you press on it. it looks like...like an oil spill that's in your hand. well it's really nice and so i decided that should be the memory-inducing object that i chose to take from my dead grandma's house.
...which sounds awfully bad. | 
