"Here's to all the girls who used to be his number one. The ones who waited all night for him to call, only to check the caller ID the next morning & be disappointed. The ones who made it through that bitter break up, dried your own tears, & moved on with your life, only to have him walk back in it months later like nothing ever happened. Those of you who cried on the first day you talked again because you knew exactly where this phone call was going. The ones who listened to him say, "I only want to be your friend" one day, and the next, listened to him say how much he loves & misses you. We deserve something, and this is our tribute. Here's to the ones that took him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe people really do change. We listened to our friends tell us that we were stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, caught crap from our parents, & even snuck around to see him for while. We went through the great stage with no fights all over again. We started this out thinking we would be just friends, & ended up falling in love with him again. We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us too, that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time. And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming. This is for us. Here's to the ones who believed what he said, sat around all over again waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours, or a few days. Here's for the tears cried and dried all over again. We wanted so desperately to believe that he was really busy, he couldn't possibly call us at that moment, or even that he fell asleep early. We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found the one for us. We learned to settle for someone who didn't treat us the way we should be treated. Here's for the ones who did their hair and make up & put on their prettiest earrings, only to hear him say that he couldn't see us today. This is for those great girls who loved him more than words can say, & took him back no matter what happened last time because they couldn't bear to look back on their lives one day & wonder "what if". This is for the girls that stayed up all night long listening to him whine about an ex girlfriend who cheated on him, & cried during the entire conversation. The ones who hoped he would realize that he deserved better, that he deserved us. When he said that he loved you, he didn't mean it. This is for the ones that held on to something that was never there to begin with. Here's to the girls who couldn't cry to their friends because of how stupid they felt. The ones who held it all in when things came crumbling to pieces again. This is for the ones who couldn't bear to even tell their mom what was going on, for fear of an "I told you so". The ones that could just tell that they had made a mistake by ever allowing him into their hearts & their dreams again. We knew that we deserved better the entire time, that we deserved a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see us whenever he got the chance, one that would really care about us. We just wanted the one that we loved like that. Here's for the ones that finally realized that he never gave a crap about them. Here's for the time that he broke your heart again. This is for those days spent trying to hold back the tears, & the tears that turned into anger, then disappointment. Here's for us girls who finally realized that we deserve better. This is for those confusing days, when you miss him & want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around your waist. Stay strong and remember that relationships are like broken glass; sometimes it's better to leave it alone rather than try to put the pieces back together & get hurt. Remember the times you cried & how long it took you to even be able to look at another guy like that. When 'your song' comes on the radio, turn the station. When the day comes that he realizes what a mistake he made & tries calling, turn your phone off. When he tries coming to your house, don't answer the door. Think of the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation & the tears, the wasted moments and staying up all night wondering where the hell he was. Think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night & how it fell to your stomach when you saw it wasn't him, and realized that once again, he hadn't called when he said he was going to. One day you'll find a guy who's worth all the tears, but he won't make you cry. You may think that you'll never care about someone like you did that guy that you always ran back to, but you will. It's going to hurt like hell, & it's going to need time to heal, but the point is, it will heal. This is for those girls who fell back in love with their ex, only to get hurt all over again."

It's mind-numbing to think of yesterday
I'd run to you now if I could
But things have changed.

I can be your shelter 'til it's done
We can make this last forever
So please don't stop the rain

There's so much craziness surrounding me, there's so much going on it gets hard to breath
When all my faith has gone you, bring it back to me, you make it real for me
Well I'm not sure of my priorities,
I've lost sight of where im meant to be and like holy water washing over me.

I do regret more than I admit.
You have been followed back to the same place
I sat with you drink for drink.
Take the pain out of love, and then love won't exist.

You were the only face I'd ever known.
I was the light from the lamp on the floor,
and only as bright as you wanted me to be.

thats me;

and these are tattoos im in love with:)

you still have all of me.

a hollow game..

<33333

'

cuz maybe, your gonna be the one that saves.

bury your secrets in my skin.

you sold me out to save yourself.

HARD LOVE.

[PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER QUOTES.]

So this is my life. And i want you to know that i am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that can be.

So, everything was forgotten.

WE ACCEPT THE LOVE WE THINK WE DESERVE.

But i guess when you see somebody in the hallway or on the field or something, It's nice to know that they are a real person.

& i was glad that everyone seemed as happy as they seemed.

You see things, you keep quiet about them. and you understand.

When we got out of the tunnel, Sam screamed this really run scream, and there it was. Downtown. Lights on buildings and everything that makes you wonder. Sam sat down and started laughing. Patrick started laughing. I started laughing, and in that moment,  I swear we were infinite.

It was one of those days that i didnt mind going to school because the weather was so pretty. the sky was overcast with clouds, and the air felt like a warm bath. I dont think i ever felt that clean before. when i got home, i had to mow the lawn for my allowance, and i didnt mind one bit. I just listened to music, and breathed in the day, and remembered things. things like walking around the neighborhood and looking at the houses and the lawns and the colorful trees and having that be enough.

A day like this when you are part of the air and remember things.

When you you listen to that beautiful song, and you think about those pretty weather days that make you remember things, and you think about the prettiest eyes you've known, and you cry, and the person holds you back, then I think you will see just how beautiful this photograph of her was.

I am very interested and fascinated by how everyone loves each other, but no one really likes each other.

the kind of crying that is quiet and a secret.

I had an amazing feeling when i finally held the tape in my hand. I just thought to myself that in the palm of my hand, there was this tape that had all of these memories and feelings and great joy and sadness. right there in the palm of my hand. and i thought about how many people have loved those songs.and how many people got through a lot of bad times because of those songs, and how many people enjoyed good times with those songs. and how much those songs really mean. i think it would be great to have written one of those songs. I bet if i wrote one of them, i would be very proud. I hope people who wrote those songs are happy. i hope that they feel its enough. I really do because they've made me happy, and im only one person.

It looked like magic, Like we were somewhere else. Like we were someplace better..

I decided then that when i met someone i thought was as beautiful as the song, i should give it to that person. And i didnt mean beautiful on the outside, I meant beautiful in all ways. So, i was giving it to you.

It was the kind of kiss that i could never tell my friends about out loud. It was the kind of kiss that made me know that i was never so happy in my whole life.

its kind of like when you look at yourself in the mirror and you say your name, and its gets to a point where none of it seems real.

And everyone looked the other way

It was vast and open and thinly quiet, and i felt so small.

I just know that another kid has felt this. this one time when it's peaceful outside, and you're seeing things move, and you dont want to, and everyone is asleep. and all the books you've read have been read by other people.and all the songs you've loved, have been heard by other people.And that girl that's pretty to you is pretty to other people. and you know that if you looked at these facts when you were happy, you would feel great because you are describing "unity"

I know that i brought this all on myself. I know that i deserve this, I'd do anything not to be this way.. I'd do anything to make it up to everyone.

It's hard, too, because we've started school again, and i cant go to the places where I used to go. And it cant be like it was. And i wasnt ready to say good-bye just yet.

I walk around the school hallways and look at the people. i look at the teachers and wonder why they're here. If they like their jobs. or us. and i wonder how smart they were when they were 15. Not in a mean way. in a curious way. Its like looking at all the students and wondering who's had their heartbroken that day, and how they are able to cope with having 3 quizzes and book report on top of that. Or wondering who did the heartbreaking, and wondering why.

Because things change. and friends leave. and life doesnt stop for anybody...

theres nothing like the deep breaths after laughing that hard. nothing in the world like a sore stomach for the right reasons. It was that great.

its hard to see a friend hurt this much, especially when you cant do anything except,"be there" . I want to make him stop hurting, but i cant. So, i just follow him around whenever he wants to show me his world.

I would die for you, but i wont live for you.

I think the idea is that every person has to live for his or her own life and then make the choice to share it with other people.

I never once thought that it would mean sam might start liking me. All i cared about was the fact that sam got really hurt. and i guess i realized at that moment i really did love her. because i there was nothing to gain, and that didnt matter.

It was just time for me leave. I dont know who decides these things. It just happens.

she wasnt bitter. She was sad though,but it was a hopeful kind of sad. the kind of sad that just takes time.

and a great song was playing. and everyone smiled. Including me, but i wasnt there anymore.

So i guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons, and maybe we'll never know most of them. but even if we dont have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. we can still do things. and we can try to feel okay about them.

things just keep going. we didnt talk about anything heavy or light. we were just there together. and that was enough.<3

Buried way beneath the sheets,
I think she's having a meltdown.

 I wish that I could make you understand.
I'm a little angry maybe, and clearly still heartbroken,
but darling, I could never hate you.

nothing hurts more than waiting,
cause i don't even know what i'm waiting for.
not anymore.

And if I had to sum up this past year;
I wasted months of it trying to impress
you. I wasted hours of days just talking
to you on the phone. And what did it
get me? A broken heart, a very quiet
cell phone, and piles of clothes I'll never
wear again, and drawers full of many
types of makeup. It wasn't worth it.
You weren't worth my time.

Winter was never as cold as you.

"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round heads in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules and they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify them, or vilify them. But the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."