| It turns out that I had it all wrong. I have spent the past twenty months under the impression that I knew you more than anyone else, but really I know you the least of everyone. I have come to learn more about you and the kind of person that you are from what others have told me. In the beginning I wanted so badly to believe that each and every one of them had no idea what they were talking about, but eventually I started to see through all of the lies you claimed you never told and all of those promises you made and never kept. You have always said that the lies we tell will always come back to haunt us, well for all the times you told me you were being honest, there are three times more lies that I have caught you in. And you know what? At first I let this hurt me, but now it is entirely okay with me. Every time you have taken my heart, trampled on it until it was so broken that it seemed it could never be fixed, then given it back to me as if nothing had happened ...I let you. Every time. And I will regret that for as long as I live. You took every bit of love that I offered to you freely and left me with nothing but the emptiness inside of me where the heart that you so selfishly took should have been, and about a thousand of empty promises that you only made to keep me around. Deep down, you have always known that I am the only person on this entire planet who still loved you after actually seeing you, past the lie you live just trying to keep "friends." Not anyone would have stuck with you as long as I did. You will realize someday that you never should have taken that for granted like you did.
I am happy for the first time in over a year, because I have finally stopped letting you control me. I am not coming back any more, and there is not a thing you could say or even do to change that. I hope you find your happiness in those drugs and that alcohol, and in all of the people that you call your friends, because for all of the moments that each of those things makes you feel complete, you will have one more of those nights where you have found yourself completely and utterly alone. And you'll drink until you are numb, just like you always do. But you can't call, 'cause I'll never answer that number again. And just as I promised I would, I am telling you now that there is someone else, and I'm really hoping this one will stay while, because he's everything I want and everything you're not.
P.S.
Be careful sneaking around like "normal teenagers" do ...you might just get caught. |
